Fight intelligently: 6 tactics

Because, as we argue, our relationship with the partner can improve or be at risk.

We offer you six techniques that will help to move during a dispute in the right direction.





Israeli psychologist Eran Halperin (Eran Halperin) summarized research on the role of our emotions at the time of the dispute. In his work "Emotions, emotional regulation and conflict resolution" he also showed exactly how our thoughts and subjective relation to a given situation shape our emotions.

For example, we are largely dependent on the reactions of other people and it is important to respect and support those who are watching the dispute, but not included in it. And if we feel that this support for some reason are missing or inadequate, discontent, or anger may increase.

The same emotions we experience, if we feel that we lose in a dispute. However, than more irritable we become, the more likely to lose a logical chain of reasoning, and thus be in a weak position.

Psychologists offer us tactics to help you successfully resolve disputes.

 

1. Stick to the facts
 

We are often drawn into argument over unimportant issues and therefore do not know the subject. We understand that from the very beginning was wrong, but a reluctance to seem like a loser in their own or the eyes of others makes us to continue the senseless conflict. This, of course, is not the best incentive for the development of the discussion. Try to stay if you are not confident in their arguments and do not enter into dispute for the sake of argument – even if the opponent provokes you to it.

2. Take a look at the situation from the outside
 

You don't need to agree with your interlocutor in order to see the opposite point of view. However, if you want to resolve the conflict, we need to be able to understand the view of the situation and the arguments of his counterparts.

"This is important because we begin to better understand what motivates our source and forms his conviction, says Eran Halperin. Perhaps he feels threatened on your part, suffers because of this fear, or irritation, which is largely reflected in his point of view. Or he knows about the subject matter of the dispute is something that you don't know".

Anyway, if you show sympathy towards the companion, it will lessen the intensity of the situation, and therefore, more organically come to a mutual decision.



©Eden Hills

3. Be open and open-minded interlocutor

To become in a position aggressive defense is the worst strategy for someone who wants to resolve the dispute.

"Do not let your companion to feel that you do not intend to consider other alternatives – emphasizes Halperin. – If you show that you want to understand the position of your counterpart, then he, in turn, will be more ready to accept part of your argument".

The more attentive a listener you are and let the man talk, the more likely the conflict will be resolved peacefully, and you come to a mutual compromise.

4. Control your emotions
 

If you lose patience and start to get annoyed, it will only provoke the opponent's response to aggression. And your conflict thus will flare up. You should not be afraid that your calm exterior may be interpreted as a sign of weakness of your position. You win because you keep your feelings under control, easing the emotional intensity of the opposing party. And it may very well be due to the fact that you both look at the situation more soberly and impartially, you will be able to compromise. And in some cases even to recognize that your argument is meaningless.

5. Tune in to the fact that the dispute will be resolved
 

Conflicts by themselves imply negative emotions. And sometimes it is difficult for us to imagine that we agree with the other side – it hurts our pride. However, the attitude that the conflict is reached, allows us to think more clearly. And, therefore, our argument becomes more persuasive. Sometimes we begin to generate new, innovative ideas.

In other words, once we believe that from a conflict situation there is a way, it ceases to seem insoluble. The most important thing we should remember, is to win a dispute does not always mean that we are right. If our goal is to resolve the conflict, the so-called loss in the long term can often mean a real win.

 

Also interesting: the Ability to listen is the greatest of skills

Portrait of a psychologically healthy person
 

6. Respect your opponent
 

Many of the arguments leave only an illusion of victory. Yes, you can technically insist on its decision, but the price of that will be broken relationships.

"The outcome of the dispute can be considered successful only if you keep the relationship, says Halperin. – Therefore, whatever happens, never humiliate your opponent and not give him a reason to think that you don't believe him. Even if this person you more than likely will never see, – show him respect and try to understand that you don't have anything against him personally." Just you on this matter a different point of view.published

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: vk.com/brain_up?w=wall-70427221_22214