These 5 factors will help you win any argument

Discussion, or simply a dispute is a dialogue, which is characterized by the presence of disagreement and divergence of opinion between the parties, as well as the obvious need to find the truth, after hearing the arguments of the interlocutor.

And although we hardly someone taught the right way to argue, to eventually be able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement, there are a number of key factors that can greatly help us.

First, you should understand that the main enemy of constructive and respectful dialogue is our negative emotions.





 

Disagreements with a spouse or partner, misunderstandings with colleagues or with management often result in us feelings of unease and discomfort. We experience disappointment, resentment and even anger.

To control all these negative emotions is only possible by learning to restore your peace of mind, believe me, it will bring greater efficiency of your argument and allow you to emerge victorious from any discussion.

Here are 5 key tips which are useful to follow.

 

1. Do not rush to attack: the dispute is also the ability to listen

The dispute is not won by attacks and attacks. He won the right arguments and charisma of someone who feels the confidence the only way he can affect another person and guide actions to achieve the agreement.





 

• It is important to understand that the cries, accusations and other attacks absolutely useless in any discussion. They only start a conversation to a standstill.
• Thus, the risk to reach the point of no return is greatly increased. But it came to nothing lead. But you have another goal?
• And despite the fact that the differences affect you what is called "live" and can cause pain, it is very important to learn not to take them as a personal insult.
• Always try to keep a cold head, warm heart and a firm, steady voice.

 

Never concentrate on the person with whom you entered into a dispute. If you are overwhelmed with negative emotions, you cease to listen, and if you can't hear your interlocutor, they can not offer him logical and sound arguments.

 2. In any discussion is "why" use "as"

At first you might think it silly, but when you argue with someone, there are certain words that can force your opponent deeper understanding of the meaning of words.

Here is an example. Imagine that you are arguing about something with your partner and tell him:

• "Why, when you make a decision, do not you consider my opinion?" or
• "Why did you do that without telling me?"

 

Most often such questions the other person will say something very banal and expect something predictable.

Now, think about how the situation would change if the other asked the question:

• "How do you think I feel when you act without regard for my opinion?"

 3. Do not think about how to be "right". Think about how to reach a mutually beneficial agreement

Remember that the goal of your discussion is not to determine who is right and who is not, and not to force the interlocutor to believe you, and in the following:

• The opponent needs to understand and realize your point of view.
• Not to aggravate, but to improve the situation.
• To emerge stronger from our current circumstances, reaching a mutually beneficial agreement.

 4. Be polite, be persistent, and avoid the use of cliches and word-parasites

Phrases like "you don't understand me", "you don't know what I want to say to you" or even just suggestions that we begin with the particle "not" already presuppose the existence of some insurmountable wall between the interlocutors. This will prevent constructive dialogue.

In addition, it gives the negative emotional coloring of the whole discussion.

• Say confidently, strongly, but at the same time stay sensitive to his companion.
• Instead of start their sentences with negative particles, it is better to do it this way: "I know you want to tell me and I'll understand."
• Ensure that your tone of voice was relaxed, don't lose self control and do not leave yourself, show your friendliness and openness.
• And despite the fact that neglected the emotional aspect, don't forget about logic.
• Often one of the opponents sooner or later results in arguments that are illogical, and that's when it's important to note it and point out missed the mark.

 5. Call your opponent for empathy

One of the most common problems faced by people during the conduct of discussions is the inability to bring the right arguments.

• They feel overwhelmed with ideas and emotions. Thoughts move in their head is completely chaotic and how to structure a "stream of consciousness" is not always obtained. And to argue wisely, aggressively and, most importantly, safely.
• Need to learn how to organize their thoughts, and Express them consistently, clearly and preferably concisely, to understand the source of everything you want to convey to him.

 

Another good suggestion is to use phrases that "awaken" the opponent empathy.

A simple example:

• "You know me, you know what I mean".
• "You're a smart man and, of course, you know what I mean."

 

In conclusion, we can say that learning to wisely manage disputes will require some time and definitely skill called "emotional intelligence".

Discuss calmly and respectfully towards his opponent, present a clear and coherent argument, it will help you to emerge victorious and reach an agreement that satisfies both parties.published

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: //steptohealth.ru/5-klyuchevyh-momentov-kotorye-pomogut-vam-vyigrat-lyuboj-spor/