How often at work or with friends and family you feel you are being manipulated?
Emotional manipulation is always hidden psychological influence, whose purpose is to evoke unconscious emotions and thereby get the necessary manipulator decisions and actions. And in order to achieve their goal, the manipulators capable of a wide variety of tricks.
In this article we will talk about how to recognize emotional blackmail and give examples of mechanisms of psychological protection from the manipulators:1. There is no sense to be honest with an emotional manipulator
Any sincere statement will turn against you. Example: "I am very angry because you forgot my birthday".
Answer: "I'm sorry to hear if you think I could forget your birthday. I should have told you about the heavy stress I'm feeling at the moment, but I didn't want to bother you. You're right – I ought to forget about your problems (don't be surprised if at this point the manipulator will let the tears) and focus on your birthday. Forgive me."
When you hear this response, you may feel that this is not a sincere regret, but rather a rebuke to your side, and then you have nothing more to add. Under any circumstances, even if you feel that you are cornered – do not surrender! Don't accept the apology because you feel guilty.
Rule number one: if you are faced with emotional blackmail, trust your intuition. Because once an emotional manipulator will find a successful maneuver, he will use it again, outing you as a complete egomaniac, with no regard for the feelings of others.2. The emotional manipulator always ready to help
If you ask him for a favor, he'll almost always agree (but will not offer to help). Then when you say, "Well, thank you," he sighs and shows non-verbal that really doesn't want to do. Then you are implying that he has the right to refuse your request, but the arm says that of course will help and your hints at his reluctance to help is ungrounded and hurt his feelings. And this kind of manipulation work very well.
Rule number two: if an emotional manipulator said Yes, make him responsible for his decision. Do not get fooled by the sighs and tricks. If he doesn't want to do something that signed up, make him tell you straight in the eye or leave him alone.3. First, the emotional manipulator will say one thing and then assures you that didn't say that
If you suddenly found that you should start a journal and write in it everything that was said earlier, as you began to doubt your own sanity, you know that you are subjected to emotional manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in finding excuses, excuses, just turning everything on its head and rationalization. He can so convincingly lie and argue that you'll see black is white and will begin to doubt yourself. Eventually his lies will become so insidious and devastating that can literally alter your sense of reality. Warning: emotional manipulation is very dangerous!
Rule number three: to confuse and make nervous the manipulator can, making notes on paper while talking with him. Feel free to pretend to be "forgetful" and tell me that you don't want to miss a single detail from the conversation with him. This method of communication is a signal that you need to save yourself from such environment.4. An emotional manipulator can very subtly to speculate on the guilt
They can make you feel guilty for what you said and what you were silent, your anxiety or restraint, for caring or for the absence of this manifestation. In other words, the manipulator will put up you without guilt in any situation. Emotional manipulators seldom Express their needs and desires openly – they get everything through emotional manipulation. The invocation of guilt is not the only but the most powerful form of influence. Most of us are willing to do anything to get rid of this unpleasant feelings.
Another strong emotion, which plays the manipulator is sympathy. The emotional manipulator always plays the role of a perpetual victim. He was able to inspire you that needs care, support and guardianship. Emotional manipulators seldom enter into other people's battles and do not undertake to do the dirty work. Cunning manipulators is this: when you render them any service (they will never ask directly), they can claim that they did not expect or did not want you to do anything.
Rule number four: try to convey to people that you do not wish to participate in such games and do not intend to carry out their dirty work. Say: "I am absolutely confident in your ability to solve everything by yourself", and then look at the reaction of the manipulator.5. An emotional manipulator is foul play
They with anyone and with anything not dealing directly. He will talk behind your back and in the end will make others tell you what they themselves would never tell you in the open. They are passive aggressors and will always find special ways to let you know that they are unhappy. They will tell you what you want to hear, and then shift all the responsibility on your shoulders.
Example: "of Course I want you to come back to College, dear. You know I always support you." And in the evening before the exam you sit at the table and try to focus, while next door a baby crying, the dog begging on the street, TV yells, and your expensive paddle as if nothing had happened sitting in his chair and looks at you with bewilderment. And as soon as you dare to reproach him, you'll hear this phrase: "Life can't stop just because you're exam." You can cry, scream or strangle the paddle – only the last will have long-term benefits. 6. If you have a head ache, then the manipulator will appear to a brain tumor!
That would be with you no matter what the emotional manipulator will be next, and thus will only aggravate the situation. With such people is very difficult to maintain relationships, because they always find a way to redirect the conversation in the desired direction and to focus on the person. And when you point them to it, they are likely deeply hurt by your words, and they will call you selfish and blame that it's you want to always be the center of attention. And although you know that this is not the way to prove otherwise would be impossible.
Rule number six: don't worry – trust your gut and just say goodbye to this man.7. An emotional manipulator can influence the emotional climate of those around him
If the manipulator is angry or upset, instinctively, he starts looking for a way to equalize the emotional climate. And the fastest way to force the manipulator to feel better is to do what he wants.
Continuing to deal with similar type of people, you become their puppet. You will become dependent on them and not even remember that you also have their own needs, not to mention the fact that you have the same right to their satisfaction.8. Emotional manipulators have no sense of responsibility
They do not bear responsibility neither for themselves nor for their behavior – they always expect that all of them will do the rest. There is the easiest way to recognise an emotional manipulator – he often tries to establish intimacy by sharing deeply personal information, thereby putting you on the hook sympathy. At first you think that you are dealing with someone sensitive, emotionally available and even somewhat vulnerable. But believe me, the emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable and vulnerable as a rabid pit bull. He will always be a problem or crisis that must be overcome. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©