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Man with rotten: How to Recognize a Suppressive Personality
Rotten in the shower: How to recognize a hidden manipulator
They come under the guise of charm, but leave behind emotional burns. Suppressive individuals are masters of social alchemy, turning your confidence into doubt and joy into guilt. How do you see the cracks in their facade?
The rotten phenomenon: Invisible Personality Corrosion
The term, coined by psychotherapist E. Shostrom in 1967, describes people with disabilities. "manipulative syndrome" A chronic need to control others through emotional sabotage. Their main weapon is the cognitive dissonance created by conflicting messages.
5 markers of toxic behavior
- Paradoxical criticism: “You’re beautiful, but the dress makes you fat.”
- Emotional grand piano in the bushes: Sudden tears/anger when trying to set boundaries
- Triangulation: Involvement of third parties in conflict (“Everyone says you’re...”)
- Replacement of reality: Denial of your memories (see Gaslighting)
- Saving on apologies: "I'm sorry, but you provoked it."
Neurology of manipulation: Why do we give in?
UCLA studies show that when in contact with the manipulator is activated isletResponsible for intuitive anxiety. But 68 percent of people ignore these signals because of social attitudes.
Recognition technique: Rule of three Cs
- Comparison: How do they talk about others in their absence?
- Consent: Do you accept no without pressure?
- Traces: What emotions remain after communication?
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Antidote: 4 strategies for protection
Psychotherapist K. Thomas, in his book Relationship Chemistry, suggests:
- Gray rock method: Become emotionally uninteresting to the manipulator
- Freezing technique: respond to provocations with a delay of 12-24 hours
- Rule 3D: Document, Distance, Delegate (refer to a psychologist)
- Referee game: Call them out loud ("You're using gaslighting now")
Glossary
gaslighting
A form of psychological abuse that causes the victim to doubt the adequacy of perception
Triangulation
Engaging a third party to create an artificial conflict
Dark triad
Combination of Machiavellianism, Narcissism and Psychopathy in Personality
“The manipulator doesn’t play chess – he plays giveaways to make you feel inept even when you win.”
Mark Goulston, psychiatrist
