Poisonous friendship: when a relationship with a friend is ruined

Girlfriends are different. It is good if a friend enjoys your successes, supports you in trouble and helps you grow. But what to do when that friendship becomes a source of stress, frustration, and even pain? Toxic friendship is a term that has become increasingly relevant in psychology and social life in recent years. Such relationships not only do not bring joy, but also become a source of destruction of personal boundaries, low self-esteem and psychological trauma. In this article, we will explore how toxic friendships can destroy, how to recognize them, and what to do about them.

Ecology of life: What is toxic friendship?

A toxic friendship is a relationship in which one side actively or passively influences the other, creating emotional stress, reducing self-confidence, and interfering with normal personal development. A toxic friend may look like a perfectly normal person with positive traits, but her actions or words can make you feel helpless, anxious, or ashamed.

Why can friendships that seem sincere and supportive become toxic? Toxic people often have manipulative behaviors that make their influence invisible to most. Such relationships are often hidden behind the mask of friendship, and at first glance it seems that nothing terrible is happening. However, over time, such relationships begin to have a devastating effect on the psyche and self-esteem.

How do you recognize a toxic friendship?

Everyone experiences and builds relationships in their own way, but there are a few common signs that may indicate that your friendship is becoming toxic:

1. Constant criticism and underestimation
A toxic friend always finds something to criticize. No matter what you look like, what you do or what success you achieve, she always finds what is wrong. Under the guise of “caring” she can say such phrases as: “Do you really think that you will succeed?” or “You don’t look very good, could you fix ...”. Over time, such statements begin to eat away at your confidence and make you feel like a failure.

2. Manipulation and emotional pressure
Toxic people often manipulate their friends into feeling guilty. It may try to suppress your desires or needs to satisfy your own. For example, “You promised to be at my birthday party, why didn’t you come?” – this emotional pressure turns you into a “hostage” of obligations that are impossible to cope with.

3. Lack of support during difficult times
True friends support each other not only in happy moments, but also in difficult times. A toxic friend in a difficult situation may start to avoid you or, conversely, increase your pain even more by saying things like: “Well, you knew this was going to happen, why did you risk it?” or “I wouldn’t do this if I were you.” Such words not only deprive support, but also lead to inner disappointment in yourself.

4. Feelings of guilt after communication
After interacting with a toxic friend, you often feel tired and guilty, even if you haven’t done anything wrong. You may begin to feel that you have not met her expectations or met her requirements. This is one of the most obvious signs of manipulation – you begin to doubt yourself and your actions.

5. Isolation from other people
Toxic friends often tend to isolate you from other friends or loved ones. They may accuse others of “not understanding you” or “not appreciating you.” Gradually, this isolation can make you dependent on one person, which in turn gives them even more control over you.

Why do we continue to tolerate toxic friendships?

Why do we have relationships that destroy us? The reasons can be different, but most often it is associated with emotional dependence, fear of loneliness and low self-esteem. We are used to a certain type of communication and do not even realize that we can change our relationships with people. Fear of losing friendships or manipulative habits can keep us in these toxic circles. But over time, it can lead to serious emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, and chronic stress.

There is also a syndrome of “normalization” of toxic relationships, when a person begins to perceive negative behavior as normal. “She always behaves this way, she probably loves me this way” – such a thought can help justify any actions of a friend, despite their destructive nature. It’s important to understand that toxic relationships cannot be based on true love and support, and that your happiness doesn’t depend on that person’s approval.

How do you get out of a toxic friendship?

Realizing that a relationship with a friend has become toxic is the first step to change. The next step is to decide how to get out of this relationship. It can be a difficult process, but it is necessary for your psycho-emotional health.

1. Appreciate your value
The first thing to do is to understand your value as a person. Remind yourself that you deserve love, respect and support. No one has the right to manipulate you or diminish your achievements.

2. Set boundaries.
It is important to learn to set boundaries in relationships. Talk honestly about what you don’t like about your friend’s behavior, and don’t let her violate your personal boundaries. This will help you regain control and reduce stress levels.

3. Decide to break up
If the situation does not change, it is time to think about ending the friendship. It may not be an easy move, but sometimes breaking a toxic relationship is the only way to maintain your inner well-being.

Conclusion

Toxic friendship is not just an unpleasant relationship, it is a real threat to your psycho-emotional state. To avoid ruining yourself and your life, it’s important to be able to recognize toxic relationships and work on changing or breaking them. Love and support should be reciprocal, and if friendships start to hurt, it’s time to reconsider.