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17 categories of women, who especially need to protect yourself
Let us discuss risk groups, that is, those who should monitor their condition particularly closely. Those emotional burnout touches in the first place.
Although in this world in our time, we are all one big risk. You could write just one paragraph on women, and that would be true. But let's try to drill down. If we understand why we are at risk, we can understand how we get out.
1. Single moms
She has to work for the two to be mother and dad. To work and raise children – the result a huge tension. When two parents, they each other in difficult moments insure and maintain. Remember the joke that two parents invented for the safety of children? When I brought my mother, she gives them to dad, who is calm, and when dad drove, mom has calmed down. And what to do with children, single mom, devastated and irritated? Usually have nowhere and no one. It's nice to have a parent or friend who help and support, and if not? In addition, she has a strong hunger for a close relationship with children is impossible to satisfy, thus they can only be hurt. And I don't mean sexual intimacy, but about to open in front of someone's soul. Lonely mom no one with whom to speak from the heart, this stress increases even more.
2. Mom povodok — or several children up to 5 years
Even one small child in the house is stressful for him because you need the clock to see that is still up and didn't get hurt, he always needs a mother to eat, sleep, go to the toilet and so on. And when they two or three? My friend has four pogodak, and the first year with four was the most difficult. She says she still did not understand how she had survived and not gone mad.
Several small children in the house is a test of strength and quite serious.
3. Mothers of large families
Many children have a lot of concerns, different needs, tastes and characters. And all this is necessary to balance soft and gentle. Forces it takes a lot. As in so many loved ones not to forget entirely about yourself?
4. Heads or businesswoman
That is, women, who a lot of responsibility. The more we have responsibility for others – employees, partners, customers — the more difficult it is to feel happy. This responsibility is often perceived as very personal and emotionally immersed in there with all my heart. And even coming home can't take off my uniform, it adheres to our body. That is why so often it is devastating.
5. Moms and dads of special children
For myself I know how much harder with a special child. And patience is more necessary to something to teach him, and help, support, patience is required more. But from the society of such support will not wait – condemnation, pity, curiosity – nothing more. And a lot of very smart advice, insensitive questions and comments, squeamish views...
6. Mothers of sickly children
Childhood diseases tired. Any sores are not just moms. And if they are piled one after the other and end is not visible? Where to get enough resources to be able to himself and child, which in this state even more love and attention need?
7. Resident cities
Unfortunately the conditions of life in the metropolis is not the best option for women. Tube, haste, low of nature around, the noise, the inability to relax, lack of contact with the ground while you sleep on a certain floor... If living out of town, you can just barefoot on the grass to look like, and already charged in the metropolis walk in the Park an hour away from home, and even more tired.
8. Mother with first child
This is the most severe test, the second and third times, not so much. And there is a huge jump and a serious life change. During this period, it is very easy to break down, overstrained and exhausted. Too all new, incomprehensible and strange.
9. Single women
Those who have no one to talk to, no one to speak, no one pour soul. When loved ones near there — no husband, no parents (or the relationship with them is terrible), no girlfriends. And those who are, can be busy, unavailable. Then in the New year with nowhere to go, birthday — sad holiday.
10. Working moms of young children
When you have two important tasks simultaneously — work and small children is very difficult to sustain both. It's hard to be equally effective and there, here and there. And if you still have a husband who wants attention, and the house where we need the procedure? Because our forces are not infinite, and everywhere it requires the complete involvement and dedication. And in this case, and to give nothing and nobody. Most could use a kind and affectionate wife.
11. Women living in difficult living conditions
If you live in the village, inadequate housing, and you need every day to carry water, chop wood, take care of a large household to wash by hand in large quantities and so forth you at risk. In the same way as those whose financial situation is very sad, when there is not enough money even for food. Excitement, fears and hard work suck all the power.
12. Women living in a family with constant conflict
Conflicts devastate, with her husband Lee, with parents, with children, with other relatives Lee. Therefore, it is also a risk. If you have a constant war, it is difficult to stay filled at this time. Martial law, however. Other tasks and other skills required. No time to think about yourself, the Motherland is in danger!
13. Workaholics
Yes, if you are working lots and lots, without weekends and breaks from morning till night, without holidays, even if it is your favorite thing you already outside. You may notice it immediately, but it's a drop typed, bulk like a snowball, and the holidays will be far away. Or the only one two-week vacation giving you so that nothing will please. The body will go on strike, sabotage, and you there's nothing I can do.
14. Women helping professions
In this case, often professional burnout and intrudes into personal space, and it turns out that all resources have burned for the sake of "help" others. Put help in quotes because we are depleted in a time when help is wrong. When there are not disinterested, but wanting, for example, of honour and gratitude, when you walk through the triangle of victim-rescuer-aggressor.
15. Women, once injured mentally
In fact, almost all of us are traumatized in one way or another. We cope with trauma in different ways will compensate it all. And those who ignore their injuries and does not treat, can't understand where the forces go? And it's simple. If your parents taught you to sleep on your own, then when you hear the cry of her child, for you it is more than sound. You hear it the sound of my own pain and it is unbearable. And all your strength back in your past.
If your mother was emotionally frozen, then the manifestation of any emotion will Deplete. Especially when these emotions you will show your children (and they certainly will do).
When your child is at that age where you are injured, to be with him impossible. So often moms after a year of the child, rush to work, away from home and pain. After all, our generation in the manger was somewhere in the year, and that for many was difficult. And our mothers were given up there even earlier, and they were not easy with us at the age of 3-4 months. And so on.
Unhealed wounds are like holes through which energy leaks out.
16. The perfectionist and good girls
Bad news. The more the girl is right and good, the less it forces. All costs for maintaining the image and correctness. To life and to itself nothing remains. So good of girls within the void that can not be filled. Nothing.
Women who don't believe in anything.
Prayer and spiritual practice — the main source of strength, especially after 30-40 years. There it most and to take the easiest way. Prior to that, a lot can be achieved in relationships, in activities, in the family. But what we are older, the more there is required to give, and where to get it? There is a source of inexhaustible, but to drink from it, we need faith and tradition. And when it is not and it is unclear how to pray and why?
What do all those in risk groups?
The maximum to protect themselves by any means. Everything that helps you feel better, must go to the course and to be always available at arm's length.
Look for close emotional communication in different ways. Family, girlfriend, friends, loved ones. Those who support and help in a difficult situation. It is especially important for single moms.
Nature. Very quickly restored a woman in nature, in the woods, on the river. The more of it in your life, the better.
Find the opportunity to sleep. Especially important for mothers of young children. And here's the important step may be an earlier bedtime.
No work and thoughts about her after hours. Taboo. To reduce the number of concurrent and thinking about things.
To minimize in your life heroism, exploits and overload — including appliances. It was unnecessary and bad for you.
To ask for help. Physical, moral, material. Anyone. And learn to accept it.
Keep a journal and write in order to learn how better to understand and hear.
Allow yourself to "lazy days". You can call them slumber parties and without remorse in bed all day.
Any physical activities massage, sauna, yoga, gym, Jogging, swimming — anything that helped to relax the body.
To study women's cycles — lunar and menstrual to plan their lives and understand their own condition.
Faith and prayer. Versatile and heals any problems.
Easier to take all the responsibilities, duty and myself. If you will not always be perfect, the world will not collapse and you will become happier.
Maybe you should slow down on stimulants — tea, coffee, chocolate, cigarettes, alcohol. This is a serious strain on the body, and the relief is only temporary.
It is not to bathe in their suffering, they say, I'm such a poor unfortunate. This is a benefit you will bring.
Just take care of yourself and monitor your condition. And most importantly, think about how you can do so, not to be at risk? What are the fuses you can deliver? How and what to change in your life?
I remember one of your placement. Then my husband was a joint thing, which required a lot from me and from him. We had two kids — a special five-year non-speaking one-year-old Daniel and Matthew. Removable and cheap apartment, no assistants. But I still had to find the opportunity to work with two home children.
And here I sit on a chair to the coach and say, I want to relax, there are no forces already to live. He asked how we live, I told him all this is dumped. His eyes slowly get bigger and bigger, and he said to me:
"Honey, well, what "relax"? Two small children, one with special needs, a family run business where you, too, plow, like a horse, rented apartment, no help. What is there to relax? Relax and die."
And then I realized that the problem is not solved with additional resources, as they do not find — is not enough. It is necessary to change the way of life.
I talked to my husband, and my responsibilities at work, we gave the girl who was being paid a salary. And I suddenly got back five or six hours daily for his life. And how many nerves freed! We also found an assistant who once a week used to clean for us at home. It was not as expensive and uncomfortable as I imagined. We also revised the schedule of the Tribute and made it more light and free. In this place it became easier and Dana, and her husband, who him in all these classes were taken.
It would be possible to do all of this before, but it was impossible. Before all the talk about it ended in quarrels — we have no extra money and hands. But the reason was not her husband. I thought that it was better I did not do nothing, time to relax no, I have to go plow. My personal belief that a world without me would collapse, led to the fact that I destroyed myself. And as soon as I allowed myself to be not perfect not the many-armed and largely weak — the husband instantly responded and agreed to relieve me. Yes, many risk factors still in my life, but now I understand that his condition need to track and take care of themselves.
If I'm the main source of power in the family, it is my goal to always be full to the brim as possible. And not only to look for, where to take power, but to think how to save them.
Take care of yourself, girl! In all circumstances it is possible to organize the life so that stress was less! Risk — not a sentence. And a reason to re-evaluate my life and make it more enjoyable and easier.
Author: Olga Valyaeva
Although in this world in our time, we are all one big risk. You could write just one paragraph on women, and that would be true. But let's try to drill down. If we understand why we are at risk, we can understand how we get out.
1. Single moms
She has to work for the two to be mother and dad. To work and raise children – the result a huge tension. When two parents, they each other in difficult moments insure and maintain. Remember the joke that two parents invented for the safety of children? When I brought my mother, she gives them to dad, who is calm, and when dad drove, mom has calmed down. And what to do with children, single mom, devastated and irritated? Usually have nowhere and no one. It's nice to have a parent or friend who help and support, and if not? In addition, she has a strong hunger for a close relationship with children is impossible to satisfy, thus they can only be hurt. And I don't mean sexual intimacy, but about to open in front of someone's soul. Lonely mom no one with whom to speak from the heart, this stress increases even more.
2. Mom povodok — or several children up to 5 years
Even one small child in the house is stressful for him because you need the clock to see that is still up and didn't get hurt, he always needs a mother to eat, sleep, go to the toilet and so on. And when they two or three? My friend has four pogodak, and the first year with four was the most difficult. She says she still did not understand how she had survived and not gone mad.
Several small children in the house is a test of strength and quite serious.
3. Mothers of large families
Many children have a lot of concerns, different needs, tastes and characters. And all this is necessary to balance soft and gentle. Forces it takes a lot. As in so many loved ones not to forget entirely about yourself?
4. Heads or businesswoman
That is, women, who a lot of responsibility. The more we have responsibility for others – employees, partners, customers — the more difficult it is to feel happy. This responsibility is often perceived as very personal and emotionally immersed in there with all my heart. And even coming home can't take off my uniform, it adheres to our body. That is why so often it is devastating.
5. Moms and dads of special children
For myself I know how much harder with a special child. And patience is more necessary to something to teach him, and help, support, patience is required more. But from the society of such support will not wait – condemnation, pity, curiosity – nothing more. And a lot of very smart advice, insensitive questions and comments, squeamish views...
6. Mothers of sickly children
Childhood diseases tired. Any sores are not just moms. And if they are piled one after the other and end is not visible? Where to get enough resources to be able to himself and child, which in this state even more love and attention need?
7. Resident cities
Unfortunately the conditions of life in the metropolis is not the best option for women. Tube, haste, low of nature around, the noise, the inability to relax, lack of contact with the ground while you sleep on a certain floor... If living out of town, you can just barefoot on the grass to look like, and already charged in the metropolis walk in the Park an hour away from home, and even more tired.
8. Mother with first child
This is the most severe test, the second and third times, not so much. And there is a huge jump and a serious life change. During this period, it is very easy to break down, overstrained and exhausted. Too all new, incomprehensible and strange.
9. Single women
Those who have no one to talk to, no one to speak, no one pour soul. When loved ones near there — no husband, no parents (or the relationship with them is terrible), no girlfriends. And those who are, can be busy, unavailable. Then in the New year with nowhere to go, birthday — sad holiday.
10. Working moms of young children
When you have two important tasks simultaneously — work and small children is very difficult to sustain both. It's hard to be equally effective and there, here and there. And if you still have a husband who wants attention, and the house where we need the procedure? Because our forces are not infinite, and everywhere it requires the complete involvement and dedication. And in this case, and to give nothing and nobody. Most could use a kind and affectionate wife.
11. Women living in difficult living conditions
If you live in the village, inadequate housing, and you need every day to carry water, chop wood, take care of a large household to wash by hand in large quantities and so forth you at risk. In the same way as those whose financial situation is very sad, when there is not enough money even for food. Excitement, fears and hard work suck all the power.
12. Women living in a family with constant conflict
Conflicts devastate, with her husband Lee, with parents, with children, with other relatives Lee. Therefore, it is also a risk. If you have a constant war, it is difficult to stay filled at this time. Martial law, however. Other tasks and other skills required. No time to think about yourself, the Motherland is in danger!
13. Workaholics
Yes, if you are working lots and lots, without weekends and breaks from morning till night, without holidays, even if it is your favorite thing you already outside. You may notice it immediately, but it's a drop typed, bulk like a snowball, and the holidays will be far away. Or the only one two-week vacation giving you so that nothing will please. The body will go on strike, sabotage, and you there's nothing I can do.
14. Women helping professions
In this case, often professional burnout and intrudes into personal space, and it turns out that all resources have burned for the sake of "help" others. Put help in quotes because we are depleted in a time when help is wrong. When there are not disinterested, but wanting, for example, of honour and gratitude, when you walk through the triangle of victim-rescuer-aggressor.
15. Women, once injured mentally
In fact, almost all of us are traumatized in one way or another. We cope with trauma in different ways will compensate it all. And those who ignore their injuries and does not treat, can't understand where the forces go? And it's simple. If your parents taught you to sleep on your own, then when you hear the cry of her child, for you it is more than sound. You hear it the sound of my own pain and it is unbearable. And all your strength back in your past.
If your mother was emotionally frozen, then the manifestation of any emotion will Deplete. Especially when these emotions you will show your children (and they certainly will do).
When your child is at that age where you are injured, to be with him impossible. So often moms after a year of the child, rush to work, away from home and pain. After all, our generation in the manger was somewhere in the year, and that for many was difficult. And our mothers were given up there even earlier, and they were not easy with us at the age of 3-4 months. And so on.
Unhealed wounds are like holes through which energy leaks out.
16. The perfectionist and good girls
Bad news. The more the girl is right and good, the less it forces. All costs for maintaining the image and correctness. To life and to itself nothing remains. So good of girls within the void that can not be filled. Nothing.
Women who don't believe in anything.
Prayer and spiritual practice — the main source of strength, especially after 30-40 years. There it most and to take the easiest way. Prior to that, a lot can be achieved in relationships, in activities, in the family. But what we are older, the more there is required to give, and where to get it? There is a source of inexhaustible, but to drink from it, we need faith and tradition. And when it is not and it is unclear how to pray and why?
What do all those in risk groups?
The maximum to protect themselves by any means. Everything that helps you feel better, must go to the course and to be always available at arm's length.
Look for close emotional communication in different ways. Family, girlfriend, friends, loved ones. Those who support and help in a difficult situation. It is especially important for single moms.
Nature. Very quickly restored a woman in nature, in the woods, on the river. The more of it in your life, the better.
Find the opportunity to sleep. Especially important for mothers of young children. And here's the important step may be an earlier bedtime.
No work and thoughts about her after hours. Taboo. To reduce the number of concurrent and thinking about things.
To minimize in your life heroism, exploits and overload — including appliances. It was unnecessary and bad for you.
To ask for help. Physical, moral, material. Anyone. And learn to accept it.
Keep a journal and write in order to learn how better to understand and hear.
Allow yourself to "lazy days". You can call them slumber parties and without remorse in bed all day.
Any physical activities massage, sauna, yoga, gym, Jogging, swimming — anything that helped to relax the body.
To study women's cycles — lunar and menstrual to plan their lives and understand their own condition.
Faith and prayer. Versatile and heals any problems.
Easier to take all the responsibilities, duty and myself. If you will not always be perfect, the world will not collapse and you will become happier.
Maybe you should slow down on stimulants — tea, coffee, chocolate, cigarettes, alcohol. This is a serious strain on the body, and the relief is only temporary.
It is not to bathe in their suffering, they say, I'm such a poor unfortunate. This is a benefit you will bring.
Just take care of yourself and monitor your condition. And most importantly, think about how you can do so, not to be at risk? What are the fuses you can deliver? How and what to change in your life?
I remember one of your placement. Then my husband was a joint thing, which required a lot from me and from him. We had two kids — a special five-year non-speaking one-year-old Daniel and Matthew. Removable and cheap apartment, no assistants. But I still had to find the opportunity to work with two home children.
And here I sit on a chair to the coach and say, I want to relax, there are no forces already to live. He asked how we live, I told him all this is dumped. His eyes slowly get bigger and bigger, and he said to me:
"Honey, well, what "relax"? Two small children, one with special needs, a family run business where you, too, plow, like a horse, rented apartment, no help. What is there to relax? Relax and die."
And then I realized that the problem is not solved with additional resources, as they do not find — is not enough. It is necessary to change the way of life.
I talked to my husband, and my responsibilities at work, we gave the girl who was being paid a salary. And I suddenly got back five or six hours daily for his life. And how many nerves freed! We also found an assistant who once a week used to clean for us at home. It was not as expensive and uncomfortable as I imagined. We also revised the schedule of the Tribute and made it more light and free. In this place it became easier and Dana, and her husband, who him in all these classes were taken.
It would be possible to do all of this before, but it was impossible. Before all the talk about it ended in quarrels — we have no extra money and hands. But the reason was not her husband. I thought that it was better I did not do nothing, time to relax no, I have to go plow. My personal belief that a world without me would collapse, led to the fact that I destroyed myself. And as soon as I allowed myself to be not perfect not the many-armed and largely weak — the husband instantly responded and agreed to relieve me. Yes, many risk factors still in my life, but now I understand that his condition need to track and take care of themselves.
If I'm the main source of power in the family, it is my goal to always be full to the brim as possible. And not only to look for, where to take power, but to think how to save them.
Take care of yourself, girl! In all circumstances it is possible to organize the life so that stress was less! Risk — not a sentence. And a reason to re-evaluate my life and make it more enjoyable and easier.
Author: Olga Valyaeva
