How to become a happier person for just one night

Several weeks ago, a neighbor, with whom I did not know, knocked on my door to tell me that her locker (storage) in the basement has been compromised, as well as mine.

I went downstairs. The door of my locker was opened; bicycle in it was not: it was stolen. Those who did not cut the lock; They broke the door with the help of scrap iron. However, a special effort to do so, they do not have to apply, because it was the usual plywood door, attached to the cabinet with four screws the smallest I have ever seen in my life.

The first thing I wanted to remove debris and dirt, which left a thief. He touched my things, and now it was necessary to return them to their seats.

Feelings of anger and resentment left me pretty quickly. I no longer feel like a victim, and thought, "Wow, I'm glad I'm - it's me."

I have money to buy a new bike. I never even thought about, something to steal from other people. Do not I was lucky because I did not know what it is illegal to enter into someone's house and rummage through someone else's things, hoping to find some trifle, which will be to push for fifty dollars? Fifty bucks!

I would prefer to lose all his property, but would not be like the guy who robbed us. I was also glad that he learned about the unreliability of the cabinet before put there something irreplaceable.

Radical thanks

Until such time as this incident occurred, I have not thought about this subject. However, I accidentally overheard a conversation recently that the need to cultivate gratitude for the extraordinary moments. Nikki Mirgafori, a computer scientist and Buddhist teacher, asked the members of his group to experiment with the meditative expression of gratitude for everything that happens to them, and then share their own experiences.

The idea sounds absurd, and perhaps even hopeless, but in practice it's pretty easy to do, with the results you will see pretty quickly. You just ask yourself, "Can I be grateful for it?". After a while, I worked with the practice of gratitude, my brain began to issue easily good reason why I should be thankful for these or other events in your life.

This practice reveals much about our lack of foresight and hindsight. We have a fairly ridiculous tendency strictly divide everything that happens to us in the "black" and "white." We believe that they are able to determine exactly what is the event that at the very moment when it occurs.

At the beginning of Nikki made an important clarification: you do not need to tell yourself that you should be grateful for the events, only to draw or know it. You should be thankful, despite your initial impressions about what happened to you.

I live in the city, so every day, forced to look where I can park your car. In the area near my house is almost never empty seats, and I have to park a few hundred meters from their doors, and then drag the two quarters in the hands of food packages. Naturally, I curse everything in the world, including his bad luck and people who unceremoniously parked there.

After I heard the conversation Nikki, it happened to me again. I am prepared to once again go through the normal sequence of their excessive response - frustration, rage, and the path to the door, accompanied by a grunt, but suddenly remembered the practice of gratitude. Can I be grateful for what I could not find a parking space close to your home? What good is that so?

This idea immediately put me in a completely different position in which I did not make any suggestions as to how I should feel in a given situation.

Instead, I just enjoyed the walk, during which noticed an unusual decoration in the yard of his neighbor (I had not paid any attention to them), and was glad that carry grocery bags full two quarters proved to be not that difficult for me.

I was happy to realize that I can overcome almost any distance without feeling pain or fatigue. I was struck by the fact that my district is located so close to the center, however, is a quiet, calm and safe. I can safely walk on it at 4 o'clock in the morning and nothing to worry about.

In my life there are so many benefits that serve me every day, but I rarely really enjoy them, because most of the time simply did not notice them.

The sky is falling? How do you know?

I went to his door with a sense of delight from his own life; I was pleased with how things are going right now. And, of course, who knows what might have happened if I parked where I wanted. Perhaps my car accidentally be touched left out in this place, and it would break. And, maybe, the circumstances have developed so, that I have met a new good friend or worst enemy. I do not know and can not know.

And this is the whole point. Each event generates endless consequences, and each chain of cause-and-effect relationships will last until the end of time bringing into our lives pleasant and unwanted events.

Each event is, in fact, is both good and bad, including illness, separation and difficulties of almost any kind. Thus, for example, failed relationships can make us better, even if at the moment of rupture seems that life is over.

The worst years of my life (after twenty years) were the direct cause of the creation of this blog, which has helped me to grow and develop. I think I was very fortunate that when everything in my life has gone awry.

Radical gratitude - is an easy way to review your initial feeling that a new circumstance is wholly bad, and resulting anger and melancholy - justified. Good is in everything, just need to see him.

So, thanks to the radical serves two purposes. Firstly, it makes us hypersensitive to disable the autopilot mode, based on a blatant error: events are isolated from each other and divided by only two species - good and bad; which can be determined on the basis of what a person feels when they do occur.

Also, thanks to the radical contributes to solving problems, it opens the doors to you, teach new things, eliminates mistakes in the future.

Experimenting with gratitude - a pleasure. The absurdity of the situation, for which the need to thank, the fun and interesting things are going. Can I be grateful for what my plans were canceled? Of course. Can I be thankful for the fact that I had a rash on his feet? Eeemmm, try to find out.

Any moment of annoyance or frustration - is fair game. Can you be grateful for the fact that your partner is impatient when you are trying to decide what to order in a restaurant? Yes. This gives you the opportunity to deal with their fears, zamorochkami and destructive habits.

Can you be thankful for coffee, which ended recently disabled warning Internet or a failed project? Yes, if you have a brain and a bit of curiosity.

Be grateful for everything - it is not an obligation, but an opportunity to experiment. You are not responsible for the feelings that arise after something happens, but they do not determine what is good and what is bad.

Author: David Cain


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