writer and entrepreneur Mark Manson (Mark Manson) wrote an article about what is happiness and how all the same to be happy. We are in the Website believe that this is definitely something there.
If you are constantly trying to be nice, so you never will. If you are bending over backwards to be happy - I never will not become happy. Perhaps the biggest problem is that too many people are trying.
Happiness, like other emotions, it is not something that we get a reward, and that with which we live. When we cry to harmful neighbor, then do not hesitate to get angry. We do not think, "Oh, did I finally got angry? And interestingly, I'm angry right? »
Anger just appeared, and then disappeared. For a time, you live with anger.
Happy does not ask whether he is happy. He just lives. Happiness works the same way as other emotions. It can not be bought, it can not simply be to achieve. It occurs when we give life back in order.
Happiness ≠ fun h3> Most people accept the happiness of pleasure: good food, interesting movie, a perfect body. The market says, buy this shampoo, and is sure to become happy with such luxurious hair.
But it's not the same thing: fun associated with happiness, but it is not the reason Ask the man who starved himself diets, trying to look like a million, he confirmed.
If you send all forces to material pleasures, you will eventually become more nervous and much less happy than they would otherwise. Pleasure - the most primitive form of life to get the buzz and the most simple. The market offers its wholesale and retail, and we are led.
Yes, pleasure is necessary, but it is not enough for happiness.
Happiness ≠ low expectations h3> The popular tale: that people are unhappy, because they grew up with faith in their own uniqueness and the ability to change the world on a grand scale. And when all of a sudden does not work, we feel nothing. Recipe: lower the bar and you will be happy. Sorry, but people are a bit more complicated.
For example, a friend of mine recently lost his business, which has invested more than half of their savings. But today he is happier than ever because he has experience. He could not do what I wanted, but found a new job adored. He is able to look back and be glad that he decided to take risks, because otherwise all his life to ask yourself: "What if I had? .." It would have made him more miserable than failure.
Tale of low expectations is based on an old myth that happiness comes from outside. Yes, you can be happy and without a salary of one hundred thousand dollars, but there is nothing stopping her want.
So you want to health, either in themselves nothing denying Suppose you have a kilometer Wishlist let you crack the earth under their feet, because then sprout from the cracks something amazing.
Happiness ≠ be positive h3> Chances are you have a friend: works for the terrible work in his personal life a mess, with health problems. But he was smiling in all 32 teeth, and always positive.
Surely this is one of the most disadvantaged people in your environment. He denies the negative emotions, and this eventually suffer even stronger and emotionally broken.
Let's take a simple thing: trouble occur. Everything goes wrong, we make mistakes, and we badly. This is normal. express feelings, but do not go too far. For example, I am against physical violence, but when a neighbor got me, I yelled at him.
It is always positive as normal as only see around and nothing but crap. I think that the refusal of a pain too machinations of the market: we were led to believe that negative emotions mean to us if something is wrong. And we rush to buy replacements to numb the pain. And actually ...
Happiness - is the path to the ideal itself h3> to run a marathon better than to eat chocolate cake. To educate a child is more interesting than playing video games. Start a business with friends amusing than to buy a new computer.
And the funny thing is that all three examples, in fact, very unpleasant. They need to inflate expectations to the skies, but are perhaps the most important things in life. They are associated with the struggle, pain, sometimes even anger and despair. But once the goal is achieved, we remember all with warmth and love.
Why? Yes, because these things allow us to be one step closer to the ideal itself. This gives us an endless path of happiness regardless of how much pleasure or pain we have in the process.
Trying to be happy will inevitably produce the opposite effect. If we "try", it means that we are unhappy with, but not equal to the quality that we want to see in yourself.
Happiness comes when we decide what we want to be, and go to the chosen path. The need to struggle to be happy no longer.
That's why happiness is so fleeting: ideal we have always a couple of steps ahead of It seems like only my reach - and here it is the ideal I, but no: you want to be a musician, and when your hits on the radio, you already want to write soundtracks for movies, and then all scenarios.
It is important that we are day after day, year after year, moving towards agreed goals. And the path is never ending.
As still be happy? I can give one piece of advice: choose how you want to be and take a step in this direction. Think big and dream - Forward.
The end result is not so important. Dreams - it's just a tool to tear ass on the chair. Basically, it does not even matter if they come true or not. Live. Just live. Stop trying to be happy and just be a start.
Author: Mark Manson
Translation and adaptation: Website
Preview: Wiebke Rauers