As we try to trick the children and their needs Bashny.Net

Ninety seven million four hundred five thousand eight hundred forty seven



Buy love toysFor example, lots of toys. Children of the 80's toys was not enough. Remember your only doll that I cut and then had to play bald. Two-three soft toys. Plastic figures. Everything. This is when I was 15 years appeared different beautiful dolls, toys - but I was already an adult. And a first purchase toys for the children, these were things I dreamed of when I got it.

Now in two-thousand years, have all. There are all kinds of cars, tractors, planes, trains. Huge shops with all sorts of toys do their thing, and we gradually acquire children's property. Every holiday – gift pile of boxes. Fun, exciting, new opportunities. However, there are also disadvantages. For example, the loss of imagination. We used to play store simple leaves and stones, everything happened in our mind. Now the children will be present – cash, drawn bills, plastic vegetables. Already there is no need to develop imagination. Unfortunately.

Very often the parents buy the child a lot of toys, trying to replace his absence. Don't see the child because I work a lot and work a lot to buy toys to compensate for their absence. Vicious circle. In the modern world we get used to buy a lot – and it creates the illusion that the relationship can also be bought. For example, new large aircraft or the most beautiful doll.

To buy a toy is very simple. Takes a little time, do not need concentration, need not be in an enabled state, no need to open the heart. The main thing – time to open the wallet. And it seems that the goal is achieved. For some time. It is only an illusion.

No, the child needs different toys. Watch the kids, they can play any of the materials at hand, and a glass with a spoon they are interested in more than a rattle. Most often, buying them toys, we try to replace what to give them can't or won't. For example, contact. Or adoption. Anyone that easy.

Buying the child the millions of toys we grow in this consumer. Unfortunately, it is. The consumer, which is very convenient for the modern world, but which is very difficult to achieve happiness. And what happiness can be, if you have only forty cars, and the neighbor – fifty? If there was a new toy, a new smartphone, but you have it yet?

Lately I try to buy not toys for children, something that will help them develop their creativity. Paints, pencils, plasticine, creative kits. It is very difficult to stop this urge to buy all of them, but it really changes the game.

The children's entertainmentIn addition to toys there is still the entertainment industry. Now all the parents are absorbed with how to entertain the child. How many trees to take him, which theme parks to take in some theatres, movies, zoos, circuses. It's not bad. It is a way to spend time with your child. If the purpose of such entertainment is to have a baby together, to experience together – it's great.

But most often the goal we have is slightly different. To divert, occupy, entertain, come up with a "useful" activity. In this race for children's entertainment, we often lose themselves and their interests, adjusting to all under them. We are so busy planning their leisure time that they cease to feel. And most importantly – they are never satisfied with even the greatest amount of entertainment. It happens at Disneyland kids say the slide could be more frightened so-so, food not very good…

We again raise the consumer who will consume entertainment. Who will be bored just living. Who will need a roller coaster to experience at least some emotions.

Millions of different sections and early developmentAnother way to be a child is to begin to develop it. Once you begin to stuff it with knowledge, for something to coach, develop – you cease to see him. Before you – the standards, calendars, development, new tools – anything but your child. All the forces trying to give him the maximum of all, we don't give him the point. Contact with yourself, with your soul.

He is able to teach many languages, a sports, creative activities to be diversified. But will he be happy with all this? I know very few mothers who manage to combine a child's development and relationship with him. Many, unfortunately, service "development of the child" takes too much effort. At the circle take out to get to the next to prepare. This race is off the mom, and often it is difficult for them even to talk to the baby, not to mention to hear his soul.

The early development of the now very fashionable. But for me, as a mom of three children, it is obvious that the best early development is the full participation of the child in family life. When he sees what others do and learning to copy. When everywhere you take with you, communicate with him. When there are brothers and sisters who are closer to him in age, which means they're clearer and easier to copy them. For me it is more useful than classes, where children have to clap at the same time, the same spinning and hands of the teacher to smear plasticine on a cardboard.

In fact, most people are afraid of intimacy. Where the proximity, there is pain. Even with the proximity of the threat – as it Matures it will go away, it will need to be let go, in addition he has desires that may conflict with ours.

Avoiding intimacy, we try to give each other something in return. Adults sometimes seek the proximity of the soul to replace lots of sex or lots of food, booze, cigarettes. And in the relations with children we do the same thing with toys, entertainment, sections, cartoons…

But when there is no intimacy, needs remain unmet. It's like a hole in heart which nothing can fill. You there nor put it remains a hole. The child remains dissatisfied as he neither forbid – he's just ungrateful, right? He's insatiable, he is all the time a little toy, a little entertainment, a little pocket money... He's out of control, not listening, not listening, not cooperating…

In the child with a problem? Or in the us? That we don't see that giving him so much secondary, the main thing behind the scenes? We are trying to build your home, without bothering about the Foundation – it's so hard and difficult. And what happens without all this hard and dirty work – so just put the bricks and all. Does not work. This house is falling apart. Such a child becomes happy and fulfilled.

The need to be with happy parentsI would call the one sentence the need of the child. To be together, that is to be in contact, to be able to share in every moment good and bad. Be and not seem and not to pretend. To be means to be who you are. And with happy parents. That is, to see how they live, to be happy together, sad together, together to comprehend this life.

Note that I write "parents." That is, with both of them. Better yet, if his life many people who love him, who are willing to give him the contact and participation. Because he can see different models of life, to accept love in different ways, to learn to communicate with different people in different circumstances.

And then, we must wonder – do I do something that the child really need? Or replace it with substitutes of toys, entertainment and learning? Why don't we ask the main question – what kind of kids we want to grow?

If I want my child to be happy, why I still was not happy? How I can teach him where to aim and how? How do I show him that happiness is real, that it is the way? How can I give him happiness, unless they are sick?

If I want my child to do what he loves and was successful at it, that's why I still have not found your passion? Why I'm still pushing papers for a salary? Why I'm not even trying to try, to look? Why do I fold after the first failure? Why I myself try to succeed in a way that doesn't make me any happier?

If I want his life preserved interest and curiosity, that's why I do all "for the sake of the child" and doing little for herself? Why I don't bring it into those places where I wonder should I? Why I pretend I'm interested, where even he is not interested? Why don't I try to introduce him with his hobby? And whether they have I do – or so I became the "mother" in the bad sense of the word, that completely abandoned your Hobbies and interests?

If I want my child had a happy family, why I still did happy their loved ones? Why I work at is not clear who, until my children are brought up it is unclear who? Why is my husband a lunch not I, but MacDonald and his team? Why do I say all the time how they are important to me, but the time I spend with them – a miserly amount?

If I want my child to be a holistic person, that is why I myself abandoned and forgotten? Why I ignore the appearance of my body and its problems? Why I swallow my resentment and do not develop relationships? Why do I clutter my mind with unnecessary information? Why I don't listen to the voice of your own soul? Why I don't do their integrity?

If I want my child to be honest and decent, that's why I continue to deceive him? In the details, but still? They say that his candy was eaten by the Ghost, although they ate personally? Tell him that we eat fish and she's not in pain, and she is not dead, but just asleep? Deception take his toys to give them to someone else's crying baby? Why I cheat on my husband, how much is a children's t-shirt? Why I lie to my friends, saying we're busy when you don't want to go to visit?

If I want my child to be loving and beloved, why I still can't open my heart? Why is it so hard to start to accept love in any form? Why can't I give her? Why am I holding on to childhood traumas and heartache instead of love – even through the tears?

What I want to teach my child? I want to give him? What I'd like him to be remembered? Always super busy business lady? Or loving and warm, close and dear? I want to be proud of me – my accomplishments, career – or that he loved me with all your heart?

What needs is this little man? Despite the fact that he is small, he is the man, and he had his vision of the world, your purpose and your calling. If I'm ready to see his personality? If I'm ready to follow his needs? If I'm ready to give him what he actually needs? published 

Author: Olga Valyaeva

Source: www.valyaeva.ru/kak-my-pytaemsya-obmanut-detej-i-ix-potrebnosti/