A few tips on how to be happy from the very sought-after lecturer, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, who is at Harvard positive psychology courses
Many of us are looking right now for school or college years, would prefer to study the electron velocity, or the history of ancient Mesopotamia something more useful - for example, how to become happier.
In fact, there is an educational institution, where such a course really studied.
Teacher and writer Tal Ben-Shahar is at Harvard University Courses Positive Psychology and Leadership, have become among the most popular in the history of the University. Tal Ben-Shahar says that we can learn to be happier, just as we can learn to drive a car or to speak a foreign language.
For those who have not studied at Harvard and has no plans of this in the near future, it is proposed 10 tips to be happy from the very sought-after lecturer, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar:
1. Be aware of all the things that make you happy
There is a good and simple technique, how to do it. Take a sheet of paper and complete the following sentence: "In order to bring into my life 5% of happiness ...»
Think more about the new experiences, not things. A million dollars is unlikely to make you happy. But it can be: the opportunity to spend more time with his family, travel around the world, financial stability. Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar suggests that we can start with a fairly modest wishes.
2. Combine the pleasure and meaning
Aristotle was a great concept called "golden mean." He believed that we should strive for the middle between the two extremes. That seems pretty reasonable, but when it comes to everyday life choices, we often forget to follow his wise advice.
Let's consider the example of food.
We often seek to avoid foods that are, on the one hand, give us a quick pleasure, but on the other - subsequently forced to experience a sense of guilt (for example, for some it may be sweets or cakes). Or we turn to the other extreme, we decide to go on a strict diet and eat only low-calorie, low-fat and tasteless food.
What does the Ben-Shahar? No need to choose one or the other extreme. We may find that, in the end, is for us both tasty and healthy. He says:
"Meeting the needs of constant happiness suggests that we enjoy all the way in that direction, which we consider to be significant. Happiness, however, is not something that is on the top of a mountain or aimless wandering around the mountain: Happiness - is the experience of climbing to the top ».
3. Do not make happiness your goal ultimatum
You will not be happy if you do or get something, because happiness - this is not the final state. This is something that we must constantly work throughout his life. Ben-Shahar is convinced that we can become happier every day, instead of giving our happiness in the hands of other people, or search for it in external events and material things.
4. Create the tradition
Is there a ritual of happiness? Harvard professor is convinced that, yes. For him, this ritual was "Log of thanks" in which it every day before going to bed writes five things for which he felt grateful. Your ritual of happiness may not require logging. Maybe you like to carry out a walk after dinner or meditate for 15 minutes a day.
5. Imagine yourself at the age of 110 years
Look at your life: what advice would you give yourself younger? What important lessons did you learn? What are trivial, negative, superficial things are not worth your time and effort? If you manage to look at your present this point of view, much falls into place.
6. Simplify your life
Distribute your employment so that free up time for the goals and achievements that make you happier. Ask yourself what you can do, what can you say "no"? Free your mind from the emotional debris. Simplify your routine case.
Stop living with the feeling that you do not have the time. Such a condition makes it impossible to have fun or total immersion in those activities that make you happy.
7. Be aware of the close relationship of consciousness and bodily
Did you pay attention when you feel fit and full of energy? Most people did not pay. They perceive their health as something natural. However, when something in our body suddenly breaks its normal operation, it is impossible to ignore persistent thoughts of the painful condition. We think about it. We speak about it. We feel that this affects our mood, attitude to life, our interaction with people.
So if you want to keep your mind positive, take care of your body. Get enough sleep, pay attention to your diet, take regular exercise.
8. Take your own emotions
Take not only positive emotions, such as pleasure and enthusiasm, but also emotions such as anger, rage, anxiety, sadness. Do not try to deny it or run away from them. Waiting for permanent happiness is unrealistic and completely impossible.
Ben-Shahar is also convinced that such expectations will only lead to more frustration and a feeling of unhappiness.
9. Start with their attitude
If you do not consider extreme cases, our happiness is largely determined by on what we focus our attention and how we decide to treat external events. If we concentrate on something that angers, irritates or frightens us, as if we "feed" these emotions subconsciously looking for other triggers that make us even more angry or frightened.
The quickest way to destroy this negative circle - send your thoughts in a different direction, and "teach" your consciousness to extract positive lessons out of any situation.
10. Turn the happiness in their universal currency
That happiness, not money, communication or social status should be the value that can be measured by our lives. If we feel our days as meaningless and empty, it is necessary to ask ourselves - what we traded for happiness? The answer to this question - the key to our satisfaction from life and self-development.