Recipe for a happy life in Odessa

Everyone knows that Odessans - people are very cheerful. They do not lose self-control and a sense of humor, even if something goes wrong.

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• - Sarah, you have a dream?
  - Yes. Lose weight.
  - Why do not you grow thin?
  - And still live without dreams? As told Aunt Sonya: "Over the years, more and more disappointing prices, mirror and tests». Female toast from Odessa, "So let us drink to that Schaub our dresses are matched with our dimensions ». - Abramchik, I bought a silk shoby sew your new tie!
  - And why so many?
  - That's nothing ... From the remnants poshem me a new dress.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • The Jewish mother knows your eating habits. And she does not care whether you like the food or not. - Aunt Pesia! Why your Venia goes to a music school? He is not at the hearing ?!
    - Oh, I beg you! My Venia goes there not to listen! Venia goes there to play! - How do you manage to take life so calmly?
    - I'm just no one to argue.
    - Yes, that's impossible.
    - Well, it is impossible because it is impossible to ...
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    • - Accept my sincere congratulations, my boy! I am sure that today will remain in your memory as the happiest day of your life.
      - Thank you, Dad, of course, but the wedding tomorrow.
      - I know, my son, what I say!
    • - Izzy, son, listen to your mom here: avoid bad company. There and the salary is small, and the head - an idiot. - Raisa Markovna, dear! I know myself, and you yourself think sho ... like an unexpected guest does not happen! There are owners who still lost vigilance ...
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      • Odessa. One neighbor says to the other:
        - Semen Markovich, I still admire your feelings! You live with a sofa for 20 years and yet, walking around the city, always hold the hand!
        - Oh, Benny, if I let go of her, she will buy something.
      • In Odessa, say: "The woman - it's always a diamond. But the diamond out of her will or diamond drill - it depends on the skill of the cutter ».
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        • Yasha and Yoshiki leisurely stroll along Deribassovskoy. Past them, swinging her hips, held chic beauty - just oil painting!
          Yasha:
          - Yosya you seen it? But someone still has it in the throat is! - Izzy, and that you are taking for insomnia?
          - A glass of wine every two hours.
          - And then you fall asleep?
          - No, it's so much fun to stay awake ... When the doctor says the American that he died two weeks later, an American goes to a lawyer to draw a will. The Frenchman in such a situation, the remaining two weeks of non-stop making love, Russian - drinking soundly. A Jew simply go to another doctor.
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          • - Sonia, for the real woman, I'll tell you this: a real woman can even legs ogle! It is urgent to do something to stop: either there or weighed.
            Illustration on preview: Vladimir Lyubarov
            
            
            
            
            
            via www.lubarov.ru/animation.aspx