Overheard on the Internet: the real stories from life, from which you will laugh that is forces.

The people joke: "How was your day? Hmm, it feels like it was for me! "Admit, in the life of each case, funny and clumsy everyday situations that even ashamed to tell someone. For example, I was once a child has decided to please the whole family and to cook the pasta. That's just I did not ask how to do it, take the pan, pour the water and immediately fell asleep pasta there, and so soundly, that the water is almost poured out of the pan. To say that instead of a tasty meal, turned one big shapeless lump of dough - to say nothing. Another portion of pasta stuck to the bottom and burnt, so that the smell in the kitchen, too, was hellish. Since then, I realized that cooking - obviously not my vocation.

Today we have prepared for you hilarious stories of life that will make you smile for sure. Oh, this life!

all together with pilaf pilaf!
I was pregnant, decided to prepare a "correct" pilaf in a saucepan glamorous "Bergoffen" just presented to her husband. I have been reading about the "glow butter" - and let's go to work. The oil caught fire, and I decided to put it out with water ...! A pillar of fire burned near hanging lockers and left a black stain on the ceiling. The whole apartment was in the smoke. I evacuated year-old child in the back room and began to call her husband. And the bastard, listening to my confused monologue, he asked matter-of-factly: "So I do not understand - is plov or not?ยป

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Peas fun
I remember a long time ago I came back from his first campaign with turkruzhkom and decided to show off to family newfound ability to cook. To demonstrate chose pea soup. But as usual pan spread ground peas in a hike as we were thrown into a bucket for 30 people. The resulting concentrate pea we cut slices, cold, and it was enough for a long time ...

Laundry century
Once the cat has marked your favorite pillow. I threw it in the wash machine. It exploded in the epic process by filling the insides stiralki ancient scraps of what was once the feathers. I was frightened and moved the car to drain. The machine hummed, wheezed, but refused to merge and open the lid not allowed. I had to spend two hours on a drop (!) Taking water through the bottom valve. Fairly emaciated poduhu sewed and left his edification.

Oh, those eggs ...
When I was 9 or 10 years, after school my mother explained to me on the phone, how to cook dinner. Once the food in the refrigerator was not, except eggs. My mother advised: "boil eggs, 5 minutes and you're done." In the evening, my mother found me sobbing starvation and a bucket full of broken raw eggs. I just poured cold water into the pot, put an egg cooker included, waited 5 minutes, got an egg, break - raw, and throws. And so with all ten ...

Savvy - our horse!
Somehow in my youth and my friend decided to get a black cloak. Black fabric we did not have, but the sheets were old, are little white striped. Paints for fabric was not there (on the street were the nineties). We reasoned that the tissue and hair - it is fiber. So that hair dye is quite a ride. Well bought. Basma. Painted in the bath. The bath had enamel - brown-green with her did not want to go. That's just the color of the sheets are not changed ...

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Crime
When it was hungry, and I had a big dog, I bought on the occasion of whole cow's head, as they say, cheap and cheerful. A I did not think - that it must somehow to cut. I jumped around three o'clock this unfortunate Baska, and then I realized - it is necessary to cut! Drag head in the bath, put a stool with a big board and firmly took hold of the ax. And in that moment, when I have already dokramsyvala phoned some policeman at the door. It is worth it, so beautiful in form, and before him a girl, blood, meat scraps and ax. And from behind the door shyly peeking St. Bernard and slowly licks my hands. I had to carry a policeman in the bathroom and show cow brains and other offal ...

The skin strength!
When Off the parent apartments, taking the skin of a yak. The stepfather took her as a gift from Asia. The skin is very beautiful, half-meter per meter, a thick long fur. Recently prostirnut conceived it in the washing machine. As a result, we had improvised means to extract flakes fur and leathery base torn to shreds and literally disappeared. How glorious hours I spent, picking out microscopic particles of skin perforated drum stiralki!

Children of the Corn
During my youth, we did not know how to cook popcorn. They gave me an ear of corn, I put it in the pan and turned on the gas. The cover is not covered. Five minutes later, the shelling started a real red-hot grains! I had to beat a hasty retreat from the kitchen and hide behind the door until it's over ...

kompotik Surprise
After the holidays, I decided to save "disappearing" mandarins - cooked compote. It turned once missing. But I'm not confused, how to spread her brandy and drank.

dumplings on Majeure
Holostyakuya in the institute hostel, I decided once to fry pelmeshek. And not just a show off - fried! He took a liter of vegetable oil, he poured into the pot and brought to a boil. He began to throw dumplings, and they blacken eyes. He grabbed the pot and it under running water. Type chill. And then the classics of the genre. Water vapor, oil spray to all surrounding surfaces, a terrible stench! Hoods do not have, so I ran to open the door to somehow ventilate the kitchen. All this breaks out ... and activate the fire sensors. Across the hostel siren cut one blocked vzvyvaet lifts and ventilation. It is blowing so that it is impossible to open the door to the stairs. In no elevators stuck only by chance ...

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Oh, my eyes right in front of it all ... What has not happened to our man in broad daylight! The main thing - not to get lost in time and try to salvage the situation, just like the heroes of our stories. And, do not forget to then share their funny incidents on the network to amuse people. The ability to laugh at himself - a remarkable habit allows you to save your nerves and health. Do you want to make friends smiled at the height of the working day? Be sure to share with them these stories, they are really very funny.

via ofigenno ru

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