It is boiling. "Day sticky ass" in children's homes held regularly. And year after year, there are one and the same themes, arguments ... Very few people manage to convince. They still suffer candy to an orphanage. The last time I get stuck in such dispute. Not anymore. Below is my very long the last word.
You bedlam at home, and children are ill behaved abominably. In general, they are constantly sick, like this you have children. Because of them you eat bad, bad sleep and do not really feel. But you love them.
And now imagine that one day come to you. They came and said that you have bad children, they have a bad disease, and you are here to be dangerous. No, you certainly agree that children do not cake, but your other hand. Dangerous? While you ponder why would all of a sudden, you've already gone, put into a car and taken away. Where??? Wait, and the children ??? What's happening??? Wait, there are children !!! They hold you tight. You're not thinking, so surreal that happens.
The car drove up to the brightly-painted building positively. Closed iron gate. You are more of them do not come out, but you still do not know. You keep thinking that all this is some stupid mistake, a bad dream, you have to wake up. Look back. Around the beds. Flowers trampled on them, although it is clear that there have tried to make nice, presentable. What's happening?
You give birth to a building. Some unfamiliar child declares that now you're going to live here. You give birth to a room. In her 8 beds. Here toilet. That locker. This is your bed. Everything.
In the next room the other parents. They numbly watching the show. Who is looking out the window. Someone picks a wall with your finger.
You sit down on a chair and ask, "Where am I?". Are you at home. This is now your home. "Where are my children?". On this issue you no answer. They do not know. They do not know where their children and that with them. They no one says. Not allowed.
There's a hot, regular food. Clean bedding and clothing. Daily regime. For life. All you need to. You were given these children? Here you cho Revesz again ?! Do not disturb other watch telly!
Yes, the food is great and such a good little bed, and bright, and clean. But you do not notice. How are my children? They are sick! Who will be treated? Who will live with them? When will they come? I want domooooy !!!
Suitable kind of girl. Gentle voice will say that here at his uncle that no children are now too. And this aunt. But the woman did not know anything about them, they abandoned it as soon as they were born. And you see - no scandals. I'm your daughter instead.
You, probably, a little calm that others do not cry. You do something to hurt. But some certainty. If you want to hug the daughter-substitute, because you're scared and lonely because you're bored and worried about their children, most likely you will discharge. Look at what? And others, too, will want to? Yes, I have you all wanting to cuddle, not enough!
There will come a night and you will be very scary. Sleep will not go. On the next bed a man swinging and howls. On the other hand woman sucks thumb up bloody blisters, so loudly that this would smack already cringe. In another corner of the room Masturbates another man. Someone cries and calls for children. Someone picks up a scratch terrible sores, someone bites his nails, twirling hair, tossing on the bed. Who wakes up in the middle of the night with a cry of horror - one he killed another child of his child in front of him ...
You're not in a mental hospital. You then find out that your house is now called the "House of the parent specialty." So will every night. You will get used. After some time, you too will do so, it will help you to be forgotten, to be distracted from the longing for their children, anxiety and uncertainty.
Come morning. Yesterday the girl finishes shift and leave. In its place will be another girl, which also will now daughter-substitute. On your question "where did yesterday?" The answer is one - I went home. Behind the fence. To his parents. Yes, she has her own parents. She's not your daughter. Remember. No child is not yours. And your kids - bad.
You, along with all the other parents go to the toilet. And there you shall sit in the common room. And with the door open. So it should be. Then wash their naskoryak will show where your towel. Dress. You might even be funny to see pot-bellied bearded man in pink jeans with rhinestones and aunt in a man's sweater. Until then, until you find that your clothes are no better. Someone's not worn pants in size - the first thing that you have to wear. Get used to it. You no longer have anything of his own. Even cowards.
And that button of clothes of his son, torn and squeezed into a fist at a time when you were taken away from the children, and hidden under the pillow ... That buttons, the only connection to the house, a past life, she was gone. She was taken. Those, too, there was nothing left. You will not find it any more. However, you're still going to hide under the pillow all that you want to keep, hide from others. In vain.
It is futile to ask for breakfast and coffee. You will only balanced meals in the correct dosage developed by the Ministry of Health. Do you want to supplement? Not allowed. Would you like to have? Better would you like additives. To feed power. You should have. You do now we have to do what to say. Any child. Your direct duty to obey without question any child. For your own good. Now, quick march to class. You'll learn the biography of a local deputy. He just now come to us to provide sponsorship.
After the class trip. You're going to mark time with others in zagonchike. With melancholy look through the bars of the fence on the life of him. There will be people, machines, kids will go with their parents. Some will regretfully look at you, "nobody wanted poor parent" and go on about their business.
Some children will wince in disgust and turn away your parents from you - surely you are some kind of sick, poor, with terrible genes. Is Well over a fence in a parent's home parents get good children? If someone decides to talk to you immediately get shouts - you and your interlocutor. Not allowed. Are you a parent zealously protected by the state. You ottaschat from the fence and report. And you will not truly understand what you isolate what your fault.
Lunch, sonchas, snack ... There will come a deputy. You tell me what you have learned his biography. MP picture taken against a background of parents. Each of you will give for candy. Remember that candy. It is - to do with you. Sugar - a way to communicate with you. Volunteers will come and show concert. Children will amuse you and you burst into tears. Because you miss your children. You will look for them among the children, but will not find. You will withdraw from the room, apologizing "I'm sorry, recently seized a parent has not adpatirovalsya" and boo on you "as well tsyts! will misbehave, never your children to you will not come. »
You accept that you can not leave behind the fence to their children. You'll try to behave well, to observe the daily routine and to eat well. No, this is not the nuthouse or prison. This "house parent specialty».
Behave well - your only chance to see their children. So you said those, you're in one's power. If children do not come, then you're not behaving.
At night, in the next bed howling and rocking. You will get used. It will take place every day. Sometimes you without any explanation will be put into the machine. Do not think you will not carry children. You being taken to the hospital. The State takes good care of your health. Closed in a separate box. Inspect, bring back.
One day, perhaps a miracle will happen, you will see the window of their children. You will hit the glass and the cry. But they will not be allowed to you. They are not recovered, it can not be for you. Six months later you hear fragments of conversations from your local daughters, that your children deprived of children's rights. To you start to go the other children. Go and figure out you come near them or not? If not, give candy and disappear. Remember this, and candy.
Each child who comes will likely treat your sweetie. Entertain, give gifts, be touched, how eagerly you eat candy. If you do not eat them, you take away their other parents. No, they do not want candy, they want you, too, there was nothing like them. But in the new year will be so much candy that you'll be playing them in football. You get used to getting candy for what you are parents of orphans.
You feel sad without children? Do not be sad. In the candy. You do not get to learn the basics of quantum physics? Do not Cry. In the candy. You offend bearded man in pink jeans? Well, what can you do ... to a sweet, calm down. Will come nephews. Bring cookies. Take you home can not - they have their parents, and a small apartment ...
One day you will be put back into the car. But not going to take to the hospital. You will be taken to a new parent's house. For other parents. Other subsidiaries. But every day is different from all previous ones. With each passing day, with each new child in your life inside the fence you're more size up is a simple rule of life - children are a separate world. They do not care for you. But they have candy. Do you still remember what you had children ... But you do not remember what they look like ... All seems somehow unreal, as if he was not.
Now you will ask each child "what have you brought me?". If a child says that nothing you offended. Choyta? Do not spoil my view of the world, young man! Give me candy and blades. And only if the child says he wants a parent was with him, you generally will shake with fear. And if you pick up and go home, yyyy, then that you'll show him everything. Primarily, it does not trust him. But if you really take away.
Time will come, you will need to learn. Everything will be the same - none of their child, the children with sweets, children concerts. You, too, will speak to them. For candy. And you will learn to make soap, but over the years spent in the parental homes, forget that it is necessary to wash the windows. Good children will teach you to weave of beads and knit. Well, I do not care what happened to your biology is not going well, and you want to return to his scientific research institute of biological problems. You will be able to twist the land, but no longer remember how to cook porridge. You will generally be a very cool life - branded clothes, entertainment, gifts from sponsors
And here's forty ... or even forty. Your life is over, departure. It's time to go get a profession of his parents' house. What? You do not want to plasterer painter? Do you have plans to return to the profession in that case, which was before the disaster struck with your children? No. You excuse, but the country's shortage of plasterers, painters. But you do not remember anything, lost skills. And not only the workers.
You do not know how to live without an order from the children where to go and what to do. For fifteen years the habit of living at the ready, getting candy instead habits relations, you no longer know how to live in a world where there are children and parents. You get off in a pack with the same disoriented parents.
And what will happen to you on ... I do not even have statistics. It's not interesting. You're not a parent, sweets will be no more. Live as you know.
PYSY. But you're an adult. And now imagine what is happening with your child from such a life.
PYPYSY. I was not an orphan. I decided to try to imagine what would feel if it happened to me. Even with an adult.