About relationships in the big city

Or how can we preserve what we have without scattering along the road to life?

Everyone has long had a stereotype in their heads that it is very, very difficult to build relations in a big city. Now almost everyone is convinced of this. And there’s a lot of common sense in that, unfortunately. You work on “killing”, rarely when there are less than 8 hours a day, exhaust yourself with waiting in traffic jams, go on business trips that you learn about a few hours before departure and all this for one thing... for a worthy place in the sun. You strive for it with the last strength, but often it remains mythical, because the parameters of this very dignity begin to grow with you, and continue on their own and in geometric progression. You can only keep up with them, sometimes forgetting about very important things, sometimes neglecting something valuable, sometimes sacrificing a very significant one, and sometimes completely losing the very dear thing that you begin to truly appreciate, having already lost.





The big city always leaves its imprint on everyone. The question remains only with time. Someone accepts the unspoken rules of this “system” immediately, believing that the less resistance, the faster and better the result will be. Someone strongly resists, but in time realizes the meaninglessness of such a struggle and gives up. There are those who hesitate for a long time, try on, but in the end find themselves weaker than this “system” leave the game.

Most make up the former, the latter achieve success faster, but personal happiness is more likely to find the third. According to the first scheme, as well as the second, with a difference in time, you, as a rule, follow a goal to achieve which you are willing to put a lot of money. A healthy lifestyle, communication with friends, hobbies and hobbies, romantic and related relationships ... the value of all this gradually fades, against which the aspirations for it, goals, flare up with more and more bright lights. Of course, you see all this and are aware of what is happening, but you give thousands of arguments and arguments in defense of the need for such a thing. You soothe yourself with promises that a little bit more... just a little bit... a little bit... but after that... yes! But it always happens the same time...no! After all, having felt the taste of victory once, you become dependent on it, and all that remains of your personal life is to be content with another delay, persuasion and promises. And when you get into that kind of rhythm, you start to think about what -- and it's not that bad, actually, the way things are now. And with renewed vigor you breathe in the smell of freedom, and eating such a sweet and viscous taste, already visible from beyond the horizon of independence, you relax. You take it all for granted, and for a while you really manage to convince yourself that it's very comfortable. But you don’t realize what’s important in your situation...the void in your soul that grows in proportion to the number of contracts and bonuses you get. And therefore, the first becomes more and more, and the ever-increasing size of bonuses over time you no longer suit. Everything material ceases to be enough for you, and even the nearby seas also cease to please you, and you go to the other end of the world, sincerely not realizing that the very emptiness in your soul is measured by the distance to it.



Along with you, along this path, there are countless inhabitants of the big city, but exactly until she comes. Love. And it can only seem that intimacy, friendship from childhood or innate hobbies-addictions are by nature much stronger. But nothing compares to the potential that only Love can bring out. Well, or, for starters, just a romantic relationship, in which you, pretty bored and hungry, throw yourself into a swamp with your head, and suddenly left a coma feelings flash in you with a seemingly new force. You give yourself to this feeling completely, without a trace, and against the background of it, your daily, and somewhat annoying, habitual duties begin to pale. Interest subsides in parallel with the growing bright feeling in the chest, and romance no longer seems to you an outgrowth of the past. You barely sit for 9 hours, the last 4 of which are constantly staring at the clock, trying just one glance to make it go faster. You choose roses with far greater care than you did a resolution a few hours ago confirming the validity of the terms of the contract. You are no longer "soaring" 1.5-hour traffic jam, because you know that having overcome it, you will inevitably meet with it, and therefore ready to postpone this sweet moment to the last. The time of the meeting will pass imperceptibly, and, having delivered her home, inspired, you will return to yourself and fall asleep with a blissful smile on your lips, absolutely not annoying that you have to do it alone. On the contrary, you are happy that you are in the sweet anticipation that this is yet to come, in comparison with the rapid development and achievement of many other things in your life. And in the morning it all happens again. However, it can last a maximum of a month, after which...

Life in the big city still takes over and throws a white flag straight into your hands. And you begin to slowly give up under the onslaught of daily duties, which is why it becomes more and more, lengthened by a couple of kilometers of traffic jams, incorrectly calculated costs under a key contract, and the losses incurred from this, as well as a stable “lack of sleep”, invariably following all this. She doesn’t like it that way, and she doesn’t want it all, so you start hearing the first claims that you tacitly accept as valid. And tomorrow you have to fly again on a business trip, because... Resentment against you grows more and more, and her image, light and airy, every day becomes more and more ghostly in your mind. He is mired in the whirlpool of numbers, currencies and projects, and calls and conversations, so lively and invigorating recently, become more rare and silent, and therefore in your thoughts every day it begins to occupy less and less space.

Again, life begins to control you with incredible force, and you, realizing the deplorableness of your situation, still remain unable to break this vicious circle. You cannot resist this, otherwise you will inevitably move into a cohort of those who are so close to quiet family evenings, but so far from all the material benefits of civilization. You can't afford it because you're not, you have to go all the way, and you go... mercilessly losing everything you had just recently on the road to life...

But... Stop! What if I stopped and replayed the script? Or at least try it? And start from the very place where you first thought about your goal, and only after that. Stop for a moment to ask yourself, “When will you live?” And then think about absolutely incomparable values, comfortably located on both sides of the scale. What's more important to you? And what's more important to you if you look a little deeper? After all, you will not fly further than New Zealand and North America, and is the taste of the next percentage received more sweet to you than the taste of her hot kiss? Is it possible that Saturday's negotiations, which are not very promising, will outweigh your weekend with her? And finally, will your world collapse after you sleep through the presentation of an important project? The alarm clock didn’t work on your mobile! Yes, you put it on yourself, but she didn’t know it! And unable to “negotiate” with your DVD and entangled in the wires, solved the problem promptly, turning off not one player, but the entire extension cord, where there was a charge to your mobile phone. Will you have enough moral strength and self-control at this moment, instead of the expected logical reaction, limit yourself to the thought of how beautiful she is in her spontaneity, and kiss her sleeping, go to the kitchen to brew coffee? Of course, I sent an SMS to these partners that I blocked half the road and wait for the tow truck.

This is where life begins to feel... something alive and real. It always happens where there are pure and sincere feelings ... and not only to Her, but to yourself, to what is happening behind the tinted glass of your car. And then it will be possible to talk about the fact that you live, or just begin to fully breathe in the whole range of colors and aromas and notice that real life is, and very close, nearby ... and it can never get lost in such a vast and vast substance as a big city!