To begin, I want you to give an example of our recent conversation with my wife about what to do and not to do in order to win a man.
- Tell me, darling, what to do for a woman to win a man?
- Well, okay, why are you asking me, you're a man, how do I know that you need in order to win you? I think that this issue should have been me ask you, not vice versa.
- Well it is, but I still wonder how you get so behave, what I feel for you constantly varied interests? You're interesting to me as a woman, but I'm always interested to communicate with you, to create and develop some projects, and entertain me with you like, and go away, and friends to take us home. And most importantly, how do you get so that I always want to please you? And I give you flowers, and I want something to please, somewhere to reduce or dumped you, and laugh, and help at home, if necessary. In general, how do you get so?
- I do not know. And if the answer to your question "how to win the man," I would say this: "And it does not need to win. Let me he wins. " Imagine, if I start you "win"? That is, in this case, it turns out, I'm going to act like a man, so what? I'll start you throw messages, ringing several times a day, you'll start somewhere inviting, do constantly gifts, invent how to spend a weekend, to arrange a holiday? I will constantly make some feats that you like ...
- Yes, I would run away from such a woman on the second day. And win it certainly would not become.
- Yes, it is a mistake many women and girls. Somehow, they act as lead, and then are surprised that the man they lack of initiative, interest in them has ceased to show, not tell compliments, gifts does not, the house does not help and can not earn money. And more often as is happening? It seems at first all went well, the guy was courting a girl, and the whole thing was going to a wedding. And time goes by, and it seems she wants to marry this man, and the man still did not marry her and not married. So you need to look deeper at how she behaves? If there are any in her desire and behavior when she begins to "conquer a man" instead of a man it won?
And yet misled many girls that they think that the more they will be present in the lives of men, the more he will love it. It seems to me that the relationship we have with you is better when we give each other rest and solitude. You'd love the city is sometimes like in one weekend to go to the office, think about something there his. I also enjoy solitude and a chance to relax and reflect. It turns out that we do not have time to get bored with each other, you miss, you begin to call or come home to get bored, we have to tell each other, there is something to communicate. If constantly seeing, call each other, send messages, then what are we talking about? In my opinion, you have to miss me and want to see me, I want to win, you know what I mean?
Here's a conversation took place recently my wife. But really, a lot of girls and women, especially in the beginning of a relationship, think about this: "The more I'll be in a man's life, the better will be the relationship».
Therefore, a woman trying to constantly be near the man, even if he wanted to be alone, go fishing, or simply meet up with friends. You can often hear from women: "You invite me along, right?". The answer is "Yeah" is not considered.
Calling him every day, and even offended when the phone does not answer, or a man does not call back later. It sends SMS messages and emails. Trying to get acquainted with all his family and friends. Learn about all of his secrets in his personal life before he met her.
Trying to talk with him about what he thinks and feels, but for men topic of emotions and feelings in moderation pleasant topic of conversation. Gives him gifts, to make the beloved "pleasant." Trying to "take care" of him, buy clothes and make sure that it is not freezing, overheating, looked "cool." In addition, of course, need to "follow his power, God forbid, go hungry, eat not 4-5 times a day, and only 2-3 times».
The man, of course, escapes from such care for a few days, and maybe forever. And about how to win a woman and speech can not be.
Himself the idea that "the more a woman is present in a man's life, the better the relationship" I really like. But once there is a few questions.
- A need for men to care, at least to the extent, and it is this concern? After care in the men's understanding is very different from the care in women's understanding.
- On its own initiative, the woman will be present in the lives of men, or at the initiative of men? The man himself will win it, or a woman will become a hunter and conqueror?
- How fast is this convergence, or rather, whether its speed to how a man can make this convergence? Briefly on each item.
"Care" about a man by a woman. Let us for example consider a "care" for dogs. In recent years, almost only occur a little cold, like a dog on the street there, which is the real clothes. That is, sweaters, hats, shoes, etc., although the dog for a good coat weather.
And although many people say that animals can not be ashamed, but when I look at these dogs, especially healthy, I do not believe it.
Do not believe it, but - I saw a huge shepherd dog, dressed in a dog's coat. This dog is usually cheerful and joyful, walked, head bowed.
Dogs go in these clothes and they are ashamed. They hide their eyes when you look at them and calls. They try to look into the ground, rather than directly. Tail wagging them, and even playful mood and not visible.
Conversely, dogs who perform feats, that is run after the bike for abandoned sticks, etc., look very happy. How - that my wife and I several times saw the dog running after the bike, and her top backpack decent size. So the dog was obviously proud of himself and playfully ran his master on the bike.
Are you Mark hunting dogs that are actually being hunted? For example, throw themselves into the icy water of the padded ducks. How many of them some confidence and peace of mind that if.
And men. If even one man ate rice and training, earned in difficult conditions and won - proud of themselves. The man who ate well, did nothing and achieved nothing - disappointed and frustrated he is to some extent true or not and will carry on his woman.
Total, if you care about the man as the child's care, it is not what a man appreciates, if any, value. And this is clearly not your behavior makes men desire you to conquer and win.
The man is quite able to dress himself for work. Do not think that it will freeze or something else. Man could eat himself. Pozhuet bread and salt, nothing he will not. And if there's food in the fridge, how much more will warm himself. And, of course, do not need to borrow money to him when he missed them. Let unscrewed earns solves the problems, and then turn and izbaluete that will sit on your neck all his life. And you need it? In my opinion, a purely rhetorical question.
Today, you, in your opinion, have taken care of it, for example, had a good meal instead send it to the gym. Or helped him to spend a lot of money on clothes, furniture and appliances, instead defer to the apartment or investments, studies, etc. Perhaps a very short time you will be a man and be grateful, that is really a time when it is or admiring a new thing. But saturation passes quickly, but the desire remains feats.
Conversely, if a man is a little bit lazy, and you say to him: "Let's work is my hero, the sun is still high", it is possible for a short time it will be too lazy and it will be a little bit unhappy, but in the long run more grateful person you will not find. And then to somehow thank you for what you once inspired and continues to inspire him, he'll have on hand to wear the colors you need to give, to carry to the sea and to provide all necessary. Anyway, I'm just so I express my gratitude to my wife for what she gives me the opportunity to be a man earner and conqueror. And do not lisp with me and do not care about how small child.
So taking care of a man - is to encourage a man to perform the feat. Including you have won. And one of the most important for him is to come and show off their feats of the woman he loves.
On whose initiative the woman is present in a man's life?
As I wrote - it's great when a woman is present in many areas of the lives of men. Knows a lot about his work, often and long talks with him, living with him, know his parents, friends, his secrets, strengths and weaknesses, hobbies, etc. It is good when the distance between man and woman is reduced.
Here's just a matter of great importance, and on whose initiative the woman is present in a man's life? At the initiative of the men or the woman?
There is a huge difference between the woman, for example, offers the man, that he introduced her to his friends, or vice versa, man proposes and asks the woman's consent to it to introduce it with your friends.
Convergence initiative 90% must come from men.
Take for example a cellular phone calls, SMS messages, emails, social networks, chat, etc. Can now say even approximately how many times you call yourself a man, and how he calls you?
If you always calls himself a man, it is the ideal case, where life is not seen, and the man may think that he is indifferent to you.
Approximate the ideal ratio is 3: 1 or even 5: 1. That is, the three men to call you, you call him once. I'm not suggesting that you constantly fix as you called, and how many - man. If you really have a reason to call, you need help, or need to change the meeting time, you want to apologize for yesterday's quarrel and so on, of course, call, even if you have just phoned twice.
And do not think that I speak
only on the stage of dating. In family life, it is desirable to comply with approximately the same ratio of calls and taking the initiative.
This was an example of the phone. But the initiative in bringing together is not only and not so much on the phone.
In early acquaintance with his wife (then my girlfriend), I have consistently taken the initiative and won it. First invited to dance, then arranged a meeting, on a date, on his own initiative went to live with her, silently went and made a duplicate key, then introduced her to his parents moved to live with him, then bought the room, we got married, and then bought an apartment and etc. That is what happens in any relationship. Let the man take the initiative, allow him to conquer you, be patient, and only from this relationship will be much better and your relationship will be much stronger and happier.
Of release from 12-04-2010 mailing
"Everything about the relationship between man and woman.»