How to make him get up from the sofa and do something useful? Why does he not bring to the end of everything and throws them halfway? How to help him be successful? These questions are often heard during my trainings.
A lot of women wonder how they can motivate a man to perform certain actions. Several times I heard complaints of this type: "Read all possible articles on the Internet on this topic, and still nothing happens".
Since this issue really is, I decided to do a little research and came to the conclusion that almost all the material online about how to motivate a man... written by women with female points of view. I agree that many of the tips do work, but not always focused on a long-term relationship.
Why? I will not go – but You do remember what we are "from different planets"? Considering this aspect, as well as the relevance and the frequent questions from my readers, I decided to devote time to writing a separate article on this topic. After reading it to the end, You will learn two terrible truths about how to motivate men. They will forever change Your attitude to them! Myths about how to motivate a man
For a start I will list a few popular claims that are clearly myths:
women who have had a lot of relationships know how to motivate a man can do this to any;
sex is the best motivation for him;
– if you promise something important to him in return, to motivate man to almost any action;
And here are the Goodies the Internet is an endless supply! Now forget about it and get ready to absorb the really important information about your man. Who is he really?
First, You need to take into account that the man is 100% internally motivated, because:
1) the Man always acts according to plan. Even if You do not agree with this plan, he still already have it, and then nothing can make him abandon it: whether it is planning the construction of a skyscraper or watching TV. Be sure he has a plan even for that. How to motivate a loved one in such a case? Try to inspire him, be his Muse.
2) Motivation and inspiration are different. At first glance, are two identical concepts, but in reality they have not much in common. Motivation can be defined as the impulse to action. But inspiration can be an external factor – the person, thing, purpose, or situation that is able to call upon their inner motivation to action. Sounds a bit confusing, so a few times, read the previous sentence before we move on.
3) You should take into account that the source of inspiration has no effect on motivation directly and to request or demand that she proved herself. The presence of the source (they can be You as a desirable woman, a Muse, an inspirer) is enough to motivate a man.
4) Motivation is triggered when the internal state of men, his readiness and external inspiration are the same. You've probably noticed that men react differently to the same events in different periods of his life.
Is it worth trying to imply? Any man will tell You that the hint is absolutely useless efforts. Unfortunately, we are not able to recognize women's tips. In our brain there are receptors that respond to them. You may not believe this, but You have to accept it. Motivate your loved one so unlikely. Another way
Be direct. We like it. In this case, we immediately get specific requests and requirements from You. Receptors that perceive it we have plenty So don't take it personally if Your guy makes a puzzled face when You ask: "do you remember what today is?". Even if You are actively hinted to him for three months. Better to tell him directly what you want. This will save his and Your time, not to mention the nerves. Men and boys
The time has come to give You the first truth, of which I spoke – the entire adult male population of our planet can be divided into two types:
"Boy" – is rarely independent, requires constant care, a lot of dreams. Men of this type can be motivated to take any action, but this does not mean that You will get what you really wanted.
"Man" – knows what he wants. Independently solves any problems. Always has a Mission – the main goal to which he is constantly moving. To determine what type of Your beloved very easily. It is enough to understand if he has a Mission, or does he live the dreams that never realizes.
Therefore, when you try to motivate a loved one to something, think: who do You want to deal with "man" or "boy." If "the man", be prepared for the fact that especially affect it, because he knows best when the time comes for what You ask for. For example, You asked the man a fur coat. He already internally lined plan of when he will be able to bring it to You depending on its capabilities. If You want to speed up this process, you will likely run into a protest. He's already built internally your plan! And to the question: "How long can you wait?" he will always be an adequate argument: because now the wrong time, the wrong circumstances, etc. and this is tolerated, if You really want to get what you want. If he responds, then You are dealing with a "boy." But if You need it? Who do You want him to be? Sweetheart or mother? In this case You don't motivate the man, and brought up.Insight
It's time to finally learn a second today and the most important truth of how to motivate the man she loved.
My answer will surprise You: Nothing! Seriously!
"Why not?" – You will ask. Because the ambition to achieve the goals in a man can come and go. And You can't depend on. It can affect only its internal focus on the desire to implement something. When will this happen? – When the time comes. There are no other ways to get it to move in any direction, than that in which it is already moving.
Men act according to the internal plan. There are no other options. And here You can become the cause that will inspire him to implement his plan. The closest thing to motivation I can do is just to be near him, to love him, to support and not interfere with the move selected course. It would be best to encourage him to action. Much better than all Your previous attempts to motivate a loving man by using special techniques and secrets that filled the Internet.
And remember: You are a very important part of his Mission.
Some women often expect disappointment and the realization that they meet with the "boys" who have not and probably can not be ambitions and goals. While You thought that You successfully motivate a loved one to feats, actually, he just obeyed. Because it does not have its own Mission. If your relationships happen that way for quite some time, there is a huge chance that You managed to bring up the "henpecked". Alas, he is unlikely to be successful. It is important to realize that You are slowly moving on the road to nowhere. Because You need a man with a Mission. Isn't it?
Well? Realized read? Or still trying to figure out how to motivate a man? If You have carefully absorbed all of the above, the last question must seem to You very absurd.
If so, then fulfilling my own Mission moved a few steps forward. Thank You for this! And finally, I have two questions for You: are You Ready for a relationship with a real man that has a purpose? Are You ready to become a woman who will help him in achieving this goal? published
Author: Yaroslav Samoylov
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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