Man comes to the pharmacy:
- Give me a pack of condom !!!
- Man, and can be polite?
- Give a pack of condoms!
- Well, even polite?
- Please give me pachechku contraceptives!
- A modest possible?
A man gets his noodle, lay on the counter and said:
- Put a gentleman !!!
The teacher asked the children to write an essay on the topic "How I spent a day».
Little Johnny wrote:
I woke up, wiped the x $ th. Took a shower. Wiped x $ th. He helped my mother make breakfast. Wiped x $ th. Breakfast. Wiped x $ th. Went for a walk. Wiped x $ th. Returned. Wiped x $ th. Lunch. Wiped x $ th. I played a computer. Wiped x $ th. I called Masha, asked lessons. Wiped x $ th. Homework to be done. Wiped x $ th. I looked telly. Wiped x $ th. Dine. Wiped x $ th. Went to bed.
- Little Johnny, you're that sick, you have that any allocation? You go to the doctor?
- Do not pigweed I. I'm all right. Just my father works in the SAI, always some freak on the door, "$ x minutes" write
1: How are you?
1: It was in the university Sedna?
2 - 1 Set on a pass ...
1: blah, you're sitting with a calculator ???
There is an orgy of Pierre Bezukhov. From under a pile of naked bodies gets lieutenant Rzhev and shouts:
- Gentlemen, I urge you to order! I take in my mouth for the third time !!!
Communal apartment. The toilet accidentally closed a little girl and
He can not get out from there. Around the toilet and all the people gathered excitedly
shouting out the door:
- You see there is such a small schekoldochku?
- Top, top it!
- Left push!
- No, right! Right! Pull!
- To the left!
etc. and etc.
Behind seamlessly fits another little girl looks at
Adults and quiet so myself:
-% Ahu be ... Ford Boyard, embossing ...
Suddenly, the sky begins some global pandemonium. One stars fade, new lit, everything starts to move. People are in a panic. After a while, the sky is laid Star sign: Who are you?
People gathered all satellites, all aircraft helicopters, all that glow in the sky and highlighted the spotlights and other lasers: We Earthlings!
It takes several days. All tense waiting. Here again pandemonium begins in heaven, and there is an inscription: Land, go to hell, do not ask you ...
At operation. Surgeon:
- Clip ... tampon tampon ... scalpel ... ... Suction ...
- Sister! Suction - a tool!