Anecdotes from the hospital

- Hello, doctor. I have a problem. Can I get undressed?
 - Yes, please.
 - Here, you see?
 - No, I do not see.
 - And I can not see! It's horrible! When two centimeters in the excited state!
 - Clear. That direction.
 - To the surgeon?
 - To the optometrist! Next!

 - Doctor, I think I'm sick.
 - Bayan. Next!

 - Doctor, doctor !!! Help!
 - What?
 - I have a right hand to the knee !!! Do something !!!
 - Hmm, nesimmetrichnenko ... It's all fixable. That is the direction of the operation. And a new job.
 - What other job?
 - Like what? Once we lengthen your left arm, you go to the circus. Orangutans work. Next!

 - Doctor, doctor !!!
 - Calm, only calm. Copyright. Come in, sit down.
 - Dr. !!! My wife left me! Help me, save my life!
 - Let's not nerves. In the order.
 - I urgently, simply vital to suck ...
 - Oooo, my friend. You do not to me. You in a gay club.
 - No, Doctor ... You do not understand. It is necessary that I suck ...
 - It's from Leningrad ...
 - No! Fat suck! You see what I'm fat !!! Make me thin !!!
 - Why are not you say ... Drink Fairy. Next!

 - Doctor! Do something!
 - Wait a second. That made. Some crap came out. Next.

 - Doctor!
 - I, too, Doctor. Hi colleague. Next!

 - Doctor, doctor !!!
 - Do not shout, you will not be at the Olympics curling. What?
 - I'm here! Apokalipsets!
 - A more detailed?
 - Can not you see? I have some terrible spots all over his body !!!
 - Ah, but it is fixable. Try the new Vanish. Next!

 - Doctor, have operating problems.
 - On the wall there is seen a light switch, air conditioning, and ultraviolet?
 - Yes.
 - Press all three at the same time, the operating reboot and you can continue to work. Next!

 - Doctor, I did not get the girls!
 - Do not tell me that they decided to try ...
 - Well no. Look. I'm so fat. I'm everywhere, absolutely everywhere, fat.
 - So, now you go to the passport. Change the name to Cheese. It is fat-free, many people like it. Well, after all in your hands. Next.

 - Doctor, I have been recently, as my analysis?
 - I have for you, the patient, two pieces of news. One good, the second worse.
 - Let poorly.
 - You have cancer.
 - Ahrenet ...
 - Yes, you have cancer. And I have cancer. Wear evening beer with cancers - the most it. Admission is over!