What were we laughing about in the USSR: the Best political jokes for 70 years! Bashny.Net

"I heard a new joke?" just twenty years ago such a phrase would often change the greeting. Jokes "hunted" constantly in the Smoking room and in the kitchen, in queues and in College dorms. Special genre was the political jokes in them as the mirror reflected the life of the country. The website invites the reader to follow, laughing about people in the Soviet Union from the 1920s to 1980-ies.





1920s- When was the first free democratic elections of the Soviet type?
When God created eve from Adam's rib and said, "Choose a wife".

***

The darkness of the night, the train, the train POPs out the head:

— Why stand?
— A locomotive change.
— Okay. And for what?

***

On the death of Lenin.

The Communist asks the Jew:

— Tell me, Barjansky, who would You like to see on a place of Lenin?
Oh, how I wish that you all were on a place of Lenin.

***

Rabinovich came speculation the Cheka. For ransom in the tens of millions he was released.

A couple of weeks took it again. For a bribe of several hundred million released.

A couple of weeks for Rabinovich came again. Rabinovich meets them with a bag and some apparatus:

"Here is your money, but the machine. Coven, print themselves, and I'm not an employee".

The 1930s In the Soviet Union allowed the free hunting of bears. The bears ran across the border. Among them wormed a rabbit. He is asked:

— Why are you running?
— Shoot all the bears in a row.
— But you're not a bear!
— Try to prove it to the authorities!

***

Farmers were driven to the lecture. One went, then asks the others what it said.

— Yes, two Jews — Hegel and Feuerbach.
— So what?
Well, one seed some found another matter. Go to jail, I guess.

***

On the collective farm meeting to give presents for the good work by the 7th of November.

— For excellent work in the field comrade Ivanov will be rewarded with a bag of grain! (Applause).
— For excellent work on a farm comrade Petrov will be rewarded with a sack of potatoes! (Applause).
— For a great public work comrade Sidorova will be rewarded with the works of Lenin! (laughter, applause, shouts from the audience: "yeah, damn, right!")

***

In Egypt have found a mummy of an unknown Pharaoh. Could not determine who it was, and invited experts from the Soviet Union. Soon they reported:

Is Rameses XVIII.
— How did you install?
— Split jerk.

***

Rabinovich came to the October demonstration with a placard: "Thank you comrade Stalin for a happy childhood".

The party runs up to him:

— Are you kidding me?! You're the man! When you were a child, comrade Stalin was not yet born.
— Here it is for him and thank you!..

***

Question after the greeting:

1920-e years:

— How are you?

In the early 1930s:

— How are you? Live?

The late 1930s:

— How??? Do you live in?

1940s — What is philosophy?
Is catching a black cat in a dark room.
— What is the Marxist-Leninist philosophy?
Marxist philosophy is different in that the cat's not in there; and the Marxist-Leninist — that one catches and then shouts that he caught this cat.

***

In the Assembly hall of Institute of two portraits: the portrait of academician Ivanov, who invented electricity, steam train, steamboat and plane, and the portrait of academician Petrov, who invented academician Ivanov.

***

Defending a thesis in theoretical physics, the author repeatedly referred to Odnoklasnika. After the defense he was approached by one of the professors and asked softly:

— Who's the Odnokamushkin?
Is — quietly replied the dissertation.

(German and Yiddish "Einstein" means "one stone")

***

Rabinovich goes on rough streets recently, the liberation of the city, stopping at the ruins, shaking his head and says:

— Ay-ay-ay. And it's all because of one person!

He is detained and put in the NKVD.

— This is who you mean?
— Hitler, of course!
Hmm... you Can go. You are free.
— Wait, do you have someone in mind?

1950s answer to the question: "How are you?"

— On the boat: horizons wide, nowhere to go, sick and go.
— Lenin: don't feed and they don't.
— As the acorn: the terms of some oaks and each pig tries to eat.
— Like potatoes: if the winter will not eat, put the spring.
As in a fairy tale: the further, the worse.

***

— Would it not be better to expel the parasites are not in the camp, and abroad?
— Will not, because immediately there will be millions of new parasites.

(Late 1950s)

***

Interview with Western tourist.

— Are there in the Union house of tolerance?
— Yes, but they are all out of town and are called "holiday homes".

***

Before repatriation from Italy to the USSR, the Armenian agreed with the remaining in the West brother, what if the Soviet Union is good, he will write a letter with a pen, if bad green.

After some time, comes a letter from him, written with a pen: "Everything is fine, was given an apartment, a job, all in abundance. If there are shortcomings, only small. For example, it is impossible to get green ink" .

***

Father and son:

— Dad, we have to build socialism, or to be even worse?

1960s the question of the Armenian radio:

— What is democratic centralism?
— When each of them against, and all together.

***

A survey of workers and employees.

— How are you?
Okay.
— What are you reading?
— Newspapers and magazines. Otherwise, how would I know that living well?

***

The question of the Armenian radio:

— What happens if in the Sahara to build socialism?
— The first fifty years will be nothing but plans. And then you start running out of sand.

***

— What are the main obstacles to Soviet agriculture?
— There are four: spring, summer, autumn and winter.

"Stagnation" — 1970s-1980s This period in our country was a real "Golden age" of the joke, including a political joke. Many of the jokes of the time are still able to bring a smile.

***

Excursion to red square. One of the tourists asked the tour guide:

— Why and when was built the Kremlin wall?
— A very long time, in order that robbers do not attack honest citizens
Is there? — asks the tourist, pointing to the Palace of congresses.

***

Brezhnev meets boy:

— Hello, boy. I just love that bike!
— We have now all beautiful: the car, apartment, and cottage.
— Very good! It's a party and I gave your dad a car, an apartment and a dacha. You know who I am?
— Dad, dad! Uncle Moshe came from America!

***

— How the Soviet people were moving to communism?

When Lenin and walk through the tunnel. Krovatka ahead like light.

Under Stalin — in the bus. Some sit, others shaking.

Under Khrushchev — in An-2 aircraft. Talking, all the sick, and nowhere to go.

Now — as in outer space. It is unclear where, and do not rely on that.

***

Brezhnev, speaking at the factory to the workers and employees:

— In the next five years, we have experienced a certain lack of different types of products. But in the next five years we will have all we need.

A voice from the audience:

— And we?

From the book by Dora Shturman and Sergei Tiktin "the Soviet Union in the mirror of the political joke". London, 1985.

via izbrannoe.com/news/yumor/evolyutsiya-politicheskogo-anekdota/