Funny mini stories

1. In the morning before work ran in the little market near the office, like counterpart on the occasion of gift to buy. I went to a container with toys, asking innocent, in general, the question is:

 - Do you have a drum?

 - What do you mean all there, gone mad ??? The fifth person in half an hour !!!

2. Just had the worst phone call in life. I lift the receiver, and then a child's voice asks:

 - Dad ?!

Curtain.

3. That week was lying on the operating table and the surgeon bash quoted, he must have a scalpel in his hand was shaking. Nurse came and said: "The doctor patient waiting for you» ...

The doctor, with a laugh: "Schazzzzz, to kill this, and let the sets!»

I'm not joking ...

4. Nature, tent overnight. In the tent - I am a girl and a boy. Sleeping lay between them. Middle of the night, unable to find an ice lantern will cast all speak forth into the wild zhrach:

 - Shit, this darkness, already lost orientation ...

5. Sitting in the Czech beer drinking ... On the contrary shampusik three distinct packaged blonde in pink. Most blond she opened the bottle and poured over the foam panel plasma TV set. A muffled scream, faint, satisfied smile others wept ... even tennis on the plasma when the three of them got out of bags PINK pads and started looking around furtively,

wipe the panel of six feet ...

6. On the Garden Ring saw just social advertising, designed to enhance the level of confidence in our police employees: "Violence in the family? The district - part of the word! ". I am now wondering, I'm the one that does not understand?)

7. Damn, that for the men went and ???

Guy meets me after work ... Almost a year has already met, the application is submitted ... So, my 27, we go with him, we pass children sadit time once again take the children. Well, we met at the handle kids with moms ... He:

 - Oh, how cute ...

I think, wow, finally talking about children !!!

And he gives:

 - I have to work because someone took away ...

8. I work in the office of a senior manager of a large company ..., periodically, from an abundance of all kinds of information and programs hang computers ... Well, I swear, sometimes easier to debug all than to the programmers to handle! I do not know about you, but when our programmers ask for help, they are at best expression indicate their opinion about your mental abilities and groaning and creaking set to work. Although this is their own business and do they have him with song and joy. Doctors also do not build such a long face: Damn, well, you che, stupid, ill again? Che himself can not recover? Or the firemen did not sigh lazily into the tube - fuck you do not put out?

9. I work in an ambulance. One night we arrive at the entrance to the challenge and read, to whom, in fact, come - KV ...
Tulhov
We go up and ask, have opened the door babuska:

 - K.Tulhov live here?

Sami davimsya a paramedic, not to giggle, but she said he was sleeping, and she goes to wake him now ...

Grandma looked at our Push Along with laughter carcasses with obvious bewilderment .........

10. Not so long ago disassembled curiosity: how did people mitlliony earn? Everyone knows that Yandex knows everything !!! I climbed to the 'Net ...

I am looking for Yandex "how to make a million» ...

Issued 151,000 pages ... Hurray !!! I earned 151 000 000 000 !!! He began to understand ... Wow !!! Everyone tries to dismiss ... and start earning! ..

BLYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA ...

How to make a million without giving up the ass - only 694 pages (((((((...

11. Today, digging a ditch for the cable in the center of St. Petersburg, suitable foreigner in English asked:

 - Where the entrance to the subway?

In response, I hand him a shovel - a foreigner confused. Further broken angiyskom explain:

 - It's Russian ... where there is undermined and the entrance to the subway ...

The face of a foreigner could not be described in words ...

12. otzheg today I ... Get out in the room - found his old big backpack, once went hiking with him ... Nostalgia ... Odell ... Then went out to the balcony and began to fasten all the buckles and tighten all straps.

I raised my eyes, and I was of the balconies with perpendikulyaronogo wing a lot of people ... Well shte taraschitstsa be - standing on the balcony of the 8th floor of people in shorts and sunglasses and carefully so "parachute" corrects ...

13. Damn, I've got an incident a few days ago ... was not only loud ...
rzhite
I bought a huge lollipop, well, something, in general, decided to recall his childhood, and when opened it I realized that in the mouth it does not fit, well rested, and I'm curious, I shoved it all the same ... but could not get ... and I sat 2:00 waited until it melts ...

14. Impressions of the procurator of the defendant:

"In general, this type of creatures was well described by y Lyi Byssenapa African adventures:" It was a big mastodon 1.60 at the withers, with a powerful croup and wide hips, created to Academician healthy offspring, huge scars betray body aggressive look, a small mustache on his face appealingly moving, powerful snout allowed to find the most delicious roots with a thick layer of soil underneath to slay this beast need an accurate shot in the skull (between the eye and ear) of very large caliber rifles Bushman ".

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