We rented an apartment close to our mother-in-law to look after her, but we soon regretted it. Bashny.Net

In the last interview with Larisa Guzeeva discussed an interesting topic: why are there evil stepmothers, but there are no evil stepfathers? Because women's struggle for supremacy in the family is much stronger, and all this is "baba nature." According to the leader, it is the daughters-in-law who are wrong. Allegedly, the wife does not want to share the attention of her husband with his mother and takes his son from the family. I think that’s not the case, and in most cases it’s the opposite. I use my story as an example to show what happens in a family. mistress.



In my humble opinion, children should fly out of the nest. That's what my mother taught me and her grandmother taught me. Sooner or later, a person becomes independent, separated from their parents. forming a family. From this point forward are the priorities of their small family, and then the large, parent. If this is not the case, there is some kind of porridge. This often happens when newlyweds live with the parents of the wife or husband. My husband and I live separately. And still chaos.

Two mistresses in the family: who is more important, mother or wife?

When we rented an apartment, we searched specifically for a closer Oleg's motherShe is old and often needs help. Then we will bring the products, then we will ship the carpets for cleaning, then we will just go for tea, because she lives alone. My family is in another city, but I’m sure if they were there, we would help them the same way we help my mother-in-law.

This is a good, affectionate woman who wishes me and my son only the best. At least I was sure of that for a while. We never quarreled except that we disagreed about food. At all holidays, we gather at the same table, sometimes my parents come to visit, my husband’s sister and children also come. Anyway, we're big. family. But there's one big but.



As often happens in families, Stefania Vadimovna and I have duplicate keys to each other's apartments. What could happen? In addition, we have a cat in the house, and if we go on a business trip (work with my husband in a travel agency), she comes and feeds him. That's why we made duplicates the first time, but it went too far. And now she comes to us literally every day. Now we have two mistresses in the house.

Bye. My husband and I are at work.His mom comes to clean our apartment. She does everything: she will wash the floors and dishes if there is anything left in the sink. He'll start the laundry, maybe even the curtains. And, of course, will prepare a full refrigerator of all tasty things, so that now it almost does not close. It sounds great, but personally it causes me a lot of inconvenience.



Home chores, for example, she may floorwash The next day after me, I will tell you about it. And then I think: did I wash the floors so badly or did I not wipe the dust somewhere? Now, when I leave the house, I keep checking to see if there's any stain left. It's terribly uncomfortable. And even if the house is perfectly clean, Stefania Vadimovna will find something to do. For example, clean down jackets or pillows.

And I'm really embarrassed when I imagine her crawling on the floor, wiping every centimeter with a cloth, given that she's got to do it. health. The son perceives this absolutely normal: in their house, his mother always cleaned, and he sees nothing wrong with her love of order. As he puts it, it's a "good thing." But I don't think so. I am silent about the fact that for months I cannot find some rag, brush or detergent that my mother-in-law forgot to leave somewhere else where she thinks these things belong.



Unsplash endless cooking But if only that was the problem... The worst thing is in the kitchen. Two mistresses can't get along there. I can’t remember the last time I could plan my diet. My husband and I don’t even have time to eat everything his mother cooked – by the end of the week, we always have to throw something away. And after all, you can’t throw it in the bucket, his mother will come and be terribly upset. It just doesn't fit in anymore. But the husband asked to treat with understanding: so the mother shows care, do not interfere with it.

Sometimes we did. cook togetherAnd here we have different views. For example, I like to roast meat and onions separately and in that order. And it is the opposite, and the grass does not grow! During the preparation for family feasts, she often had to concede in such matters. The only thing I managed to do was reduce the amount of mayonnaise in salads.



Recently, the situation has been particularly aggravated: Oleg weight gainAnd it started to take a toll on his health. The doctor prescribed a diet, and his mother knows it. But from this in our refrigerator nothing has changed: borscht, blueberries, cutlets, fried potatoes, bleach and cakes. No matter how much I ask her to stop cooking us all these dishes, she does not miss the opportunity if not cook, then at least pass them on.

I decided to take matters into my own hands, and when I came home from work, I started cutting salads. Salads for dinner and lunch with a small amount of other, not heavy food. Maybe one or two patties, but not a full plate of pasta in the fleet. My husband is holding his heart for now. And his mother, seeing that I came after work, again unpacking a bag full of vegetables, was very offended.



Unsplash First, she said I didn't appreciate her care at all. Secondly, that she starves her son to the sea and makes him eat only grass, and his eyes are hungry. What? thankless And that I always have dust in the corners. You can guess how shocked I was after these words, given all the time that I had endured the desire of my mother-in-law to run our house. The truth is that two housewives in the same kitchen will not get along!

I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. changing the door lock. That's what I said to my mother-in-law, because for me it was a matter of principle. I understand that she wanted the best, but there can be no good attitude and care when Oleg’s cholesterol is breaking all records. And the presence of his mother in the house, as if she already lives here, I do not like it either. After all, I want to manage myself the way I want.



Now Stefania Vadimovna is offended by us, or rather, by me. His son continues to visit him, but alone. She is now crying endlessly behind my back, as I am. daughter-in-law And how much I insulted her. I don't know what to do now. Do you think I did the right thing?