Balm on the soul of the daughter-in-law, who held a grudge against her mother-in-law

“I don’t want my mother-in-law to see my one-year-old daughter. From the very beginning, I did not want to communicate with her, as I saw that my friends, who rarely see my husband’s mother, live calmly and happily. The personal animosity between them began when Katya got married. Since then, she has been unable to forgive her mother-in-law for her past behavior.



I was kind to my future mother-in-law, only she immediately disliked me. I tried to keep my distance, she and I were never close. Six months after we moved in with Dima, I found out I was pregnant. Then we decided to sign and only after submitting an application to the registry office informed the relatives of the news.

Our parents didn’t know each other, so Dima and I gathered together to introduce my parents to the wedding. Honestly, the acquaintance was not very smooth. Dima's parents began to discuss some family matters with him, it was unpleasant for me, and my listening to these conversations was not necessary.



A few days later, my mother invited me to her house to discuss something. She was excited when I came. It turned out that two days in a row my mother-in-law called her and asked me not to have a baby. I was shocked when I found out. My mother-in-law didn't deny anything. And it pissed me off. What right does she have to demand that? She could see from her face that she was about to take me by the hand to the hospital.



It was a month before the wedding, and all this time my mother-in-law turned my son against me. She asked him to leave me before it was too late. A week before the wedding, she knew she wouldn't change anything by trying to separate us. She accepted. One day she took me aside and said, “Let’s forget our differences and communicate normally,” she probably apologized. The wedding was modest, but without tantrums dissatisfied mother-in-law, which is already pleasing.”



“While I was waiting for my daughter, my mother-in-law could not see.” I was annoyed even by her phone calls to her son, I can't explain it. When Nastya was born, my mother-in-law rarely came to us. But I barely tolerated these infrequent visits. I couldn't see her standing in front of the crib and snoozing with my daughter. But I was patient, I didn't say anything to her.



When Nastenka was 6 months old, she learned to ask for pens. We came to my husband’s parents to show their granddaughter. Nastya began to cut teeth, so she was restless and did not want to sit in anyone’s arms. And at some point, my mother-in-law takes the baby away from me and says, “Your mother can’t do anything.”

The daughter reached out to me, sat quietly for half an hour, then the mother-in-law asked her to let her sit with her granddaughter. I turned her down and nervously smiled. The mother-in-law cannot live without scenes, so she turned around silently and went to the kitchen. Here I put my daughter to bed and hear my mother-in-law screaming about how bad I am, that they all tolerate me. My husband, of course, called me to talk. I didn't mind, I said, let's talk normally. To which my mother-in-law shouted that she would not talk to me, and in general she would no longer interfere in our family affairs.



After that story, it was my husband's brother's birthday two weeks later, and I didn't go because I didn't want to annoy anyone, and I was breastfeeding. My husband listened to what I was like. Since then, my mother-in-law keeps asking if I still feed Nastya so that she can be brought to them. And they make me cringe. I regret that an innocent child suffers in this situation.”



It is difficult to advise in this situation, because the mother-in-law from the very beginning was negative. On the other hand, the offense of the daughter-in-law does not give an opportunity to resolve the conflict calmly. How would you resolve the conflict in this situation?