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When my husband got sick, I went to ask my sister for money, but her answer shocked me.
It is very sad when relatives because of everyday problems or something like that are forced to quarrel and argue. Family conflicts They take a huge amount of energy and rarely subside on their own. After all, relatives, one way or another, must somehow interact with each other. Talk, see each other at least on holidays. And hidden grievances have not yet benefited anyone. What is even sadder, even a psychologist will not help in such cases: well, where is it visible that a mother and her son or a brother and sister come to the session together? Therefore, disagreements often only grow with time.
And in such a situation, there would be no way to meet each other halfway, try to at least hush up the uncomfortable story, where there is. For some reason, relatives are more likely than others to perceive any claims on their account. Often, this attitude ends with the fact that relatives cease to communicate or simply look at each other from the side when meeting. The subject of the conflict has long been forgotten. We hope that our readers do not have such problems. Otherwise, we urge everyone to reconcile. Because family is what should empower us all. It’s not that these same forces take away and only make us weaker.
In my youth I was, as they say, a rather hot-tempered person, a detachment. I liked the idea that even though I was a girl, I could stand up for myself and not get a word in my pocket. Naturally, my social circle consisted mainly of the same people. It’s a bit embarrassing to remember that time, but what’s the difference? No one knows me on the Internet, and I am not going to specify my city of residence. So there is no sense in cheating either.
Unlike my sister, Oksana, I hated pretending. I’ve always said to my eyes that I think of a man. I thought that was the only correct behavior. How naive I was in those days, I can't tell. But then my sister and I were quite strained. Conflicts in the family arose constantly. We communicated, of course, in different companies. She found a fiancé early and married quite successfully. I, with my views on the world, was not in a hurry to find a husband. And then when I found it, I realized that compromise in life is not such a bad idea.
My ex-husband loved my independence and truthfulness. He was like that. That’s only if I could at some point to make a fool of myself, when the situation was heating up, Zhenya could not do this. Therefore, the authorities did not want to raise his salary, transfer him to raises and so on. That’s why we lived so – poor, but fundamentally. And then Lisa was born, and life became very difficult for us. Money is not enough, the friends with whom we communicated in our youth, all disappeared. And my sister didn't want to have anything to do with me, although sometimes we did.
And when Zhenya, my husband, went to bed with oncology, I thought that the life of our family just ended. The daughter was 6 years old, and she, although still a child, somehow understood everything too clearly. I always wondered how Dad was doing. Helped me, not forgetting about my studies, we sent her to the preparatory class at school early. At the age of 3, Lisa already knew how to read, and at 5 she counted perfectly and even developed her own handwriting.
One day, I went to my sister to share my situation, to tell her about her daughter’s successes and what trouble had happened to her father. But my sister showed no interest in it. I understand family conflicts. But is that a reason to hate me?
I wanted to borrow money from her for treatment, but I was refused. Immediately, hard and without unnecessary emotions. Oksana perfectly learned to be an actress: with her husband she was very affectionate and indulged all his whims. No wonder, because he had a good job and brought money into the house while his wife was sitting at home and did not blow. She was very cold with me. She didn't care about my problems, and she even gloated a little, remembering how we both used to be. And what, now I had to overstep my principles in order to "beg" her some handouts. "What can I do? It's not my money, it's my husband's. You better go and ask your friends, you were so friends. They'll definitely help you out”.
We never saved Genya. After his departure, my life with my daughter became even more difficult. Thanks to my parents, they helped me a little financially. So I was able to go to the courses and learn a profession that in the future was very relevant. I'm not going to lie, study a profession from scratch, and even at my age, it's not easy. And don't forget about Lisa, she needs to be supported, too, although I can't remember a single day when I was somehow disappointed in my daughter. As time passed, we tried our best to break out of this cycle of poverty. And at some point, we started to succeed.
At the moment, our family is feeling great. I make good money, and I try to invest the rest in a small business. Lisa has grown up and is now in her third year. On a free basis, though, I swear, I was willing to pay her tuition. Now I don't have a problem with these little things. I don’t know if it made me worse, but finding a compromise on any issue became my credo. I've changed a lot in that regard. Conflicts in the family ceased to exist.
But my sister's not doing so well. At some point, she decided to take a little walk. Probably just bored. Her husband noticed it. So I took some action. He filed for divorce and even took his children. There is money, the question is solved. Lucky I didn't ask for alimony. And my sister went back to her parents. This is hard, because I had to find myself at a younger age, and I worked with my husband, was not a housewife. Would I be able to rebuild now? I have no idea.
However, I have no complaints about Oxana. We saw each other a couple of times, and I lent her a small amount just to make her feel a little more at home. No, we didn't become best friends, but now we call and talk about everything. Like parents. It suits both of us, and I am very happy about it.
It's a shame Lisa doesn't want to see her aunt. She just can't stand her physically, because her main memory of my sister is how she didn't help her father. Basically everything. It doesn’t matter that she’s her aunt and it’s been a long time. That you need to be able to forgive, because no one has ever gotten better from the conflict. No, my daughter doesn't even want to hear about my sister. He says if he sees her, he'll just go after her with his fists. She's pretty strict in that regard.
Sadly, there's nothing to do. Only recently have I started catching myself on one very unpleasant thought. Even though I raised my child, I tried to make her a good person. She always had enough friends... What if the genes took over and Lisa was just like me when she was her age? She could have it from me and her father. I would not want such a fate for my daughter. In our world, nobody cares about your views. They will only make you miserable and nothing more. I hope she understands that in time. As long as it's not too late.
And in such a situation, there would be no way to meet each other halfway, try to at least hush up the uncomfortable story, where there is. For some reason, relatives are more likely than others to perceive any claims on their account. Often, this attitude ends with the fact that relatives cease to communicate or simply look at each other from the side when meeting. The subject of the conflict has long been forgotten. We hope that our readers do not have such problems. Otherwise, we urge everyone to reconcile. Because family is what should empower us all. It’s not that these same forces take away and only make us weaker.
In my youth I was, as they say, a rather hot-tempered person, a detachment. I liked the idea that even though I was a girl, I could stand up for myself and not get a word in my pocket. Naturally, my social circle consisted mainly of the same people. It’s a bit embarrassing to remember that time, but what’s the difference? No one knows me on the Internet, and I am not going to specify my city of residence. So there is no sense in cheating either.
Unlike my sister, Oksana, I hated pretending. I’ve always said to my eyes that I think of a man. I thought that was the only correct behavior. How naive I was in those days, I can't tell. But then my sister and I were quite strained. Conflicts in the family arose constantly. We communicated, of course, in different companies. She found a fiancé early and married quite successfully. I, with my views on the world, was not in a hurry to find a husband. And then when I found it, I realized that compromise in life is not such a bad idea.
My ex-husband loved my independence and truthfulness. He was like that. That’s only if I could at some point to make a fool of myself, when the situation was heating up, Zhenya could not do this. Therefore, the authorities did not want to raise his salary, transfer him to raises and so on. That’s why we lived so – poor, but fundamentally. And then Lisa was born, and life became very difficult for us. Money is not enough, the friends with whom we communicated in our youth, all disappeared. And my sister didn't want to have anything to do with me, although sometimes we did.
And when Zhenya, my husband, went to bed with oncology, I thought that the life of our family just ended. The daughter was 6 years old, and she, although still a child, somehow understood everything too clearly. I always wondered how Dad was doing. Helped me, not forgetting about my studies, we sent her to the preparatory class at school early. At the age of 3, Lisa already knew how to read, and at 5 she counted perfectly and even developed her own handwriting.
One day, I went to my sister to share my situation, to tell her about her daughter’s successes and what trouble had happened to her father. But my sister showed no interest in it. I understand family conflicts. But is that a reason to hate me?
I wanted to borrow money from her for treatment, but I was refused. Immediately, hard and without unnecessary emotions. Oksana perfectly learned to be an actress: with her husband she was very affectionate and indulged all his whims. No wonder, because he had a good job and brought money into the house while his wife was sitting at home and did not blow. She was very cold with me. She didn't care about my problems, and she even gloated a little, remembering how we both used to be. And what, now I had to overstep my principles in order to "beg" her some handouts. "What can I do? It's not my money, it's my husband's. You better go and ask your friends, you were so friends. They'll definitely help you out”.
We never saved Genya. After his departure, my life with my daughter became even more difficult. Thanks to my parents, they helped me a little financially. So I was able to go to the courses and learn a profession that in the future was very relevant. I'm not going to lie, study a profession from scratch, and even at my age, it's not easy. And don't forget about Lisa, she needs to be supported, too, although I can't remember a single day when I was somehow disappointed in my daughter. As time passed, we tried our best to break out of this cycle of poverty. And at some point, we started to succeed.
At the moment, our family is feeling great. I make good money, and I try to invest the rest in a small business. Lisa has grown up and is now in her third year. On a free basis, though, I swear, I was willing to pay her tuition. Now I don't have a problem with these little things. I don’t know if it made me worse, but finding a compromise on any issue became my credo. I've changed a lot in that regard. Conflicts in the family ceased to exist.
But my sister's not doing so well. At some point, she decided to take a little walk. Probably just bored. Her husband noticed it. So I took some action. He filed for divorce and even took his children. There is money, the question is solved. Lucky I didn't ask for alimony. And my sister went back to her parents. This is hard, because I had to find myself at a younger age, and I worked with my husband, was not a housewife. Would I be able to rebuild now? I have no idea.
However, I have no complaints about Oxana. We saw each other a couple of times, and I lent her a small amount just to make her feel a little more at home. No, we didn't become best friends, but now we call and talk about everything. Like parents. It suits both of us, and I am very happy about it.
It's a shame Lisa doesn't want to see her aunt. She just can't stand her physically, because her main memory of my sister is how she didn't help her father. Basically everything. It doesn’t matter that she’s her aunt and it’s been a long time. That you need to be able to forgive, because no one has ever gotten better from the conflict. No, my daughter doesn't even want to hear about my sister. He says if he sees her, he'll just go after her with his fists. She's pretty strict in that regard.
Sadly, there's nothing to do. Only recently have I started catching myself on one very unpleasant thought. Even though I raised my child, I tried to make her a good person. She always had enough friends... What if the genes took over and Lisa was just like me when she was her age? She could have it from me and her father. I would not want such a fate for my daughter. In our world, nobody cares about your views. They will only make you miserable and nothing more. I hope she understands that in time. As long as it's not too late.
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