I was incredibly annoyed by my husband’s pettiness, so I decided to tell him about it, but during the conversation another interesting thing became clear

“All problems have the same beginning... A woman was sitting, bored,” - this is not the creation of our hands, honestly. This was invented by a certain Alexander Flinde, although there is probably some truth in his words. And yet, let's talk today, finally, about men. The myth of the ideal man - who invented it? Wait, it turns out that the conversation led us to women again. Well, what can you do, because we are all nothing more than one whole. With its own characteristics, pros and cons.



And the main thing in this one whole is to maintain balance. A man takes care of a woman. The woman, in turn, supports the man. That's all. There are, of course, situations in which the spouse plays out the father and supports his partner with everything ready. Or, on the contrary, a woman, like a real mother, does not allow her husband to breathe normally and reveal his potential. However, all this, according to experts, is an unhealthy relationship. And, be that as it may, they need to be worked on.

The Myth of the Ideal Man My least favorite quality in a man is pettiness. Before I got married, I didn’t even know that this could even happen. I've been in relationships before, so I have some experience. There were all sorts of things: rude people, lazy people, drunkards. There were greedy people too, and I assure you, this is completely different. Slowly scrape out my brain with a teaspoon over every little thing... I love my husband, I just need to work through this moment with him. That's what I thought until recently.

Before the wedding, I noticed one interesting thing for myself. The candy-bouquet period is always the same. But what comes after it is very individual. Well, it's true. When a man tries to woo you with all his might, he often makes some concessions and does not adhere to his own “boyish” principles. It becomes soft like dough. How many compliments a man in love generously gives to the object of his adoration. How many gifts and grand gestures he makes. But this is always followed by a sobering reality. And for everyone it is purely individual.



Peels Therefore, when Nikita and I started dating, for a long time I specifically did not want to start a conversation with him about the wedding and all that. We walked for a long time and spent time together. Then they moved in together and lived in a civil marriage. I understand girls who nag their boyfriends about the ring, wedding and marriage. But their goal is simple - to get married. They don't look further into the future. It’s as if they are going to live in some kind of fairy tale. I had another desire: to get to know a person in everyday life. And only then think about something serious.

After living in perfect harmony for a year and a half, I began to think about marriage. Of course, it was difficult to call Nikita ideal. Like any man, he could sometimes throw things all over the apartment. He didn’t put away the dishes after himself, although this issue was quickly resolved if he was reminded. And other little things. But otherwise, my boyfriend suited me 100%. Who knew that after the wedding he would turn into some kind of parody of a house manager. With sarcastic remarks and a keen eye.

Here, for example, is the light in the apartment. I didn't know where he got it. Perhaps I read it on the Internet or my friends suggested it. But someone there calculated that people waste a lot of electricity if they do not turn off the lights in the kitchen or in a room that you are not currently using. And I'm the kind of person who often forgets about those damn light bulbs. And because of such a small thing, we started having conflicts, can you believe it? I didn’t even think that this could happen. I decided to conduct my own “test”: I asked, even demanded money for a new dress. I immediately put on the card as much as needed. So the problem is not the funds. But how can this be?!



Or else here. So we bought food to celebrate something. We prepared all sorts of different things, a lot of meat, seafood, herbs, and so on. And after cooking I am often very hungry. The appetite comes with the process, so to speak. Well, I have a habit: first, grab a lot of everything for yourself, then eat some of it. And I can’t do the rest. Like a stone in the throat. I have to throw it away, but what should I do? I also allocate some money to our family budget. So why not? But this just infuriates Nikita, he can’t stand throwing away food. Although there always seems to be waste, that's life. You won't really be collecting crumbs. Another scandal.

In short, one day I just realized that we needed to go to a family psychologist. Knowing the fact that most men relegate this profession to the rank of deceivers and charlatans, I made up a story. It was as if I got a free reception from a friend, because she and her boyfriend were not able to come. In general, I wove it as best I could. And after quite a lot of persuasion, Nikita agreed.



Peels We were received by a nice woman who patiently listened to my speech about my husband’s pettiness. She immediately understood what the problem was and began asking Nikita questions about his childhood, relationships with his parents and other various interesting things. Yes, it turned out that she hit the nail on the head. As a child, Nikita’s family lived poorly, and they had to save constantly. So he developed a habit where he always and everywhere needs to be economical. Is it sad? It's just not the right word. But nothing. We were promised that this obstacle in life could be worked through, and everything would be fine.

But the session did not end at this moment alone. Somehow it happened that my husband opened up and admitted that he loved his mother very much. Therefore, on those days when he visits her himself, he always buys her some gifts. And this is not a cake or a bouquet of flowers. For example, last month he bought her a very expensive multi-cooker. And before that there was a large silver bracelet. Some other shoes. He did it in secret because he was afraid that I would be angry. But now that he sees that I am not a selfish person, he is no longer going to keep any secrets from me.



It turned out that every month he gives some part of his salary to his mother for shopping. On the one hand, we have a separate budget. That is, there are general expenses like apartments and groceries. And there is something that you spend personally on yourself, this is understandable. But I hope women will understand me: every man is simply obliged to give his woman all sorts of surprises and pleasant purchases. Just like that, so that our fickle mood is more with a “plus” sign than with a “minus” sign. And for this you need money.

I’m not jealous of Nikita’s mother, don’t get me wrong. She is a good woman, there are no complaints about her at all. After our trip to the psychologist, I didn’t hear any complaints addressed to me at all, even though I left the light on in the bathroom a couple of times, absolutely intentionally. But no, as the grandmother whispered. No problems, silence. But I started to have some questions myself. How much did you spend on your mom this month? When's the next time you go see her? We're going shopping next week, remember? Overall, I'm feeling a little stingy now.



Peels Moreover, what I feel is not part of the solution to the problem. It annoys me that I didn't know about my spouse's spending for so long. And what’s more, they will continue! And I don't know how to stop it. I urgently need to come up with something before it completely takes over all my thoughts. I'm not going to see a psychologist. Who knows, maybe something deeper will be revealed there. I do not need this! You can’t talk to your girlfriends either - it’s a shame. So I have to write here as an anonymous person. Maybe someone will advise something. It's a stupid situation, but it definitely needs to be resolved. And the sooner the better.