I recently got a call from my father in Canada and was stunned by an unexpected offer, I don’t know what to think.

Recently, my father called me from a foreign number, congratulated me on the upcoming winter holidays. It's embarrassing to talk about it, but I've forgotten that somewhere out there in Canada, I have a dad. And then he calls me, laughs in the phone, and starts talking about everything: his job, his new home, even the density of Canada. At first I thought he was delirious, but I was wrong. At the end of the conversation, it turned out that he was talking about it all for a reason.

That call made me feel mixed. My father asked me to live with him, although I don’t even know what he looks like or what kind of person he is. The number was given to him by my godfather, because he felt sorry for me - because of the war I lost my job, hunched in a restaurant for pennies from morning to night. And then there's a call from my dad and, as if by magic, an offer to go abroad and not know anymore. But it's not that simple.

Population density of Canada, or why we are so welcome in other countries

Unsplash is such a dark time that I no longer judge anyone, neither myself nor my friends. But from time to time I hear people scolding those who went abroad from the war away. Who's the one with the kids. I have heard that we are very welcome in other countries.

The first and foremost reason we're welcomed in countries like Canada is because of the working class deficit. That is, the entire population is highly educated, doctors and economists. And there is no one to work in factories, there is no one to put roads, there is no one to do construction either. Everyone wants to be a teacher or a designer or an IT professional. So it turns out that if a person is smart and hardworking, they take him with their hands and feet.



Unsplash turns out there are a lot of us out there. People live whole neighborhoods and, even as a locksmith or nanny, have a large house and a car. And sometimes two cars. That’s not to mention all the other delights of living abroad: health insurance, good medicine, clean streets and gentrified parks. I had a very vivid idea of it during the conversation, even though I didn’t see Canada in the movies.

The second reason is the demographic crisis. The father said that the population density of Canada is only 4.2 people per square kilometer. This is the 37th largest country in the world! Given the fact that they have a demographic crisis and an aging nation, going there now would be the right decision for me. Allegedly young and promising girls like me, Canadians are very happy. Plus, Dad promised to help with all the paperwork and even the job search. He forgot that we had a difficult relationship with him. More precisely, their absence.



Unsplash Dad left Mom when I was still in the womb. He found another woman and went with her to work in Canada. It is with her he now lives: built a house, finally has a stable income, travels. They have only one problem with their wife: they cannot have children. Neither he nor she. That's how lucky my dad was that I was the only one.

And my mother, left in the decree without the main breadwinner, barely got out of this situation. I don’t know what I would do without my grandparents. We all lived in a small house in a village under the city. They lived there, they survived. As soon as I went to school, my mother finally got a job, and that was barely enough to dress me, feed me, buy textbooks. She had a hard time being a single mother.



Then my grandfather died, and my grandmother went after him after a difficult six months. Her grief was eaten by ailments, her health was already very weak. She became so ill that her mother was by her bedside almost around the clock. What's the job here?

When my mother's parents died, she sold the old house, and this money was just enough for the down payment. I got an apartment on loan in the city. In the city she managed to get a job in the factory. They paid her very well, but the work was hard, not female at all. So it turns out that my mother dressed me, obula, paid for training and did everything for me in this life. She didn’t even have time to think about her own happiness. I admire her, but I probably wouldn’t have survived if I were her.



Unsplash Father has been a taboo subject since I was a kid, and we don't think about it. A long time ago, my grandmother told me the details of her story with my mother, but asked me not to remind my mother. Because she survived this betrayal with great difficulty and not without the help of loved ones. Dad never called me when he left. What about some kind of alimony or just financial aid.

And now he called me and started to repent. He told me how hard it was for him to leave me and my mother, how much he missed him and how ashamed he was afterwards. So embarrassing that he never even called to ask how we were doing. And I got all the news through the godmother, I suspect, every two or three years.



If my mom finds out I've talked to him at all, she'll be very upset. She'll remember all of Dad's sins, so I can't even tell her. Going to Canada is scary for me. This prospect will probably ruin it altogether. After the phone call, I don’t know what to think.

No, I don’t miss my father and I don’t even resent him, because he is a stranger to me. But I'm so tired of working from morning to night with ungrateful clients. My hands are cut in the kitchen, varicose veins appeared under my knees from eternal work on my legs, to everything else was added chronic lack of sleep and neurosis. I’m not even 26 years old and I don’t know what to do. So much for this fabulous life in Toronto, which my father talked about, you have no idea.



But I cannot leave my mother and not forgive myself if I betray her like my father did. In the meantime, the only way to find happiness in life is missing. No, I’m not afraid that people will judge me for leaving at this difficult time for everyone. I'm afraid for my mother, she's the only one. Do you think I made the right choice?