Daughter turns 19 and wants to get married but now demands we buy her an apartment

Of course, we all need family life. peace and quiet. It is only sometimes, sometimes, you want something like this: jump with a parachute, fly to another country or go down to the bottom of the sea with a scuba on your back. But in everyday life, in a home environment, our mind usually requires good calm. When you do not need to rush anywhere, find out the relationship, think where else to earn a penny for tomorrow. Anyway, no stress.



But, unfortunately, for most of us, such happiness is simply not available. Nothing is done by itself. You need to clean the apartment, go to work, raise children. They are also growing, demanding more attention. And where, one asks, is that quiet well-being? Maybe he'll be in retirement. As practice shows, unfortunately, no. That is why we must try to balance. To live this life now, in the moment, not to shift everything to the future.

Before I myself understood that having children with a large age difference is not the best idea. But my husband and I were younger and still had hope for a bright future. There were a lot more opportunities, to be honest. The first son was born, Constantine. We tried to be the best parents in the world. Firstborn, hope. That’s why they sent him to the best school in the city, and then to the university. All right, he's already been there, free. But still.

The second one was Jenechka. There was a 9 year difference between son and daughter. The situation was like this, and why not? Two kids isn't that much. My husband said we'd pull. We were older and more experienced. We have a lot of young friends who helped with the stroller, things. Now we did not shake the baby because of every sneeze, but also did not go beyond: I do not understand irresponsible parents. Why give birth when there is no money in your pocket and no prospects on the horizon?



In general, Kostik still in school found his love. My father and I didn’t pay any attention at first. Well, it's a school affair. It's life, it's normal. But over time, it became clear that this story is quite serious. All right, let it go. But at the age of nineteen, my son came to us one day and confessed everything honestly. He can no longer live with us, all thoughts about her are mutual. So we should get married. And this is not some kind of love, but real adult feelings.

And you know what? He just got lucky with his age! That's my word. My husband and I had more options and had an old car. We collected the necessary amount, sold the car and managed to scrape the young for a small but cozy apartment as a wedding gift. Kostya promised that this would not affect his studies. The wedding was paid for by the bride. In fact, they sent the eldest child into adulthood.



After a year and a half, they had a son, and my father and I became grandparents. Kostya kept his word, learned and became an expert in his field. Stars from the sky are still missing. But they repaired the apartment, their grandson is babysitting without our help. Soul in soul. Wasn't it worth it? I think it was the right decision to let my son go. My husband completely agrees with me. And everything would be fine if it weren't for one thing.

As time passed, our family affairs not only got worse, but there was no obvious progress either. Zhenya, my daughter, grew up too. But her studies were worse than Bones. We tried to fix this: we hired tutors, bought some special textbooks. But Zhenya entered the institute for a fee. To be honest, this has reduced the family budget. But does it matter? You have to live in order for children to become people, right?



Now to the main thing. He is now 19 years old, just as Costa was when he announced his desire to marry. And the daughter had the same situation as her son at his age. Love, there's no strength. My daughter wants to get married. Unfortunately, my father and I don’t have the same gift. And that's a pretty big problem. Because Zhenya has a slightly more dramatic character compared to Bones. So the atmosphere is still quite tense. Where is our peace and quiet?

Sometimes my daughter doesn’t sleep at home. He lives with his young man and his parents. We know absolutely nothing about their family. I only saw him a couple of times. Looks like a normal guy. But he hasn't been in contact with us yet. Well, hello and nothing more. But the daughter now plays the victim's card and tries to reproach us in everything. And you probably know that today’s young people are very good at it.

She dropped out of school, too. No, he's a couple, but his grades are a problem. I don't know if they're throwing out those who study for a fee these days. Do I think they should be in their hands? But it's not a conversation either. Why do we need such “knowledge” if the diploma is given only for a tick?



If I am more calm in nature, my husband sometimes stands up on the rack. He's fighting with Gene, screaming. But this case won't help. And Zhenya, in turn, calls his brother and requires him to solve the housing issue in the following way: sell the apartment we gave, and divide the money. If she and her “future husband” have to live on removable conditions, then let him live like this. It doesn’t matter if he has a family and a child. In her opinion, all this is very unfair.

Kostya, of course, ignores her demands, and does the right thing. It is not his fault that he was born earlier and, accordingly, started a family earlier. But it's really hard on me. Because if I decided to have two children, then the money had to be saved for two apartments. But life did not give such an opportunity. I have already promised my wife a hundred times that my father and I will get the apartment only to her, no questions asked. But the daughter doesn't want to listen. It just makes you hysterical. Wept our peace and quiet.



How we get out of this situation, I don't know. Admittedly, all hope that the affair of my daughter will end by itself and no wedding, at least in the near future, is not expected. But is it okay to wish that on your daughter? Probably not. That's how I found out that for my daughter, I must be a bad mother. I had never had that thought in my head before.