Expert on communication with negative people told how to communicate with citizens who are always bad

Most of our readers have probably had this experience. A friend or acquaintance constantly complained that he had nothing in his life, nothing worked out, apparently some kind of curse or just was born on Monday. Actually, communication With such characters are understandable: they carry only negativity and take away a lot of vital energy.



But what to do if life is constantly complaining not only someone, but, for example, one of the relatives? Or the other half, a colleague or even the boss comes from the next office and pours out his soul? You can't just get up and leave. You're going to have to listen to this boring monologue over and over again, and you're going to have to play some kind of compassion. What is the reason for daily complaints and how to behave in such cases?

So, without realizing it, the “whisperers” and “all-in-one” are mainly trying to take possession of your following resources: attention and energy. They do not need material handouts or real help. In fact, if they had put all their efforts in the right direction, they would, sooner or later, definitely succeed. But no. Let's look at examples.

Some people cannot think critically. They constantly need someone from the outside who would be the number one in most of their decisions. It’s like flipping a coin for an eagle or a tail before deciding which t-shirt to wear today: yellow or red. So here, the person begins to whine and tell how bad it is.



Most people will calm him down first. Suggest alternatives. But the complainant will virtuoso avoid them, continuing to complain about his unfortunate fate. Soon they will begin to agree with him and this conversation will finally end.



peel What's the point? Thus, the whiner will continue to remain unhappy: he will not look for a job, will not find a soul mate, will not make repairs. In short, he won't take any action. Why? Yes, even people from outside agree that it is useless. So you can continue to live in a comfortable rhythm. Like a plant. What if people agree, what can we do?

Passive-aggressive Oh, this kind of comrade is interesting in that it will listen to you, not the other way around. First, a little “probing the soil”: how are things, what is new, how is health? And here I am. And it starts with a little monologue that things aren't really bad, but they could always be better. Even if he won the lottery, “it could have been better.”



And then when you start answering, they start listening very carefully. And if they hear even a little positive news, immediately interrupt. Did you pass your exams well? You see, you're lucky to have a teacher. Buy a new car? Oh, you and your husband are so lucky! Buy an apartment? Well, great, my parents, I guess they helped.



Why are they doing this? It's all because of the same complacency. Only the approach is slightly different. If someone else is doing well, they just have more luck. That's how these people think. That they try, give a lot of time and energy, doing something necessary. It is you or someone else who is more fortunate. Well, it is very difficult to change this opinion, you will need a specialist.

Vampires-manipulators “Yes, you’re right, it will be better for us separately, it’s my fault”, “I can’t do anything”, “I can’t remember what to do here, how quick I am”. Self-deprecation and constant discussion of your own disadvantages. At first, this can be taken as self-criticism. But after a while, it becomes clear that a person has no other topics to talk about than noting their own weaknesses.

Such people usually respond negatively to support. You can see that they revel in precisely what is not comfortable either in life or in work. In addition, they constantly repeat their duty phrase “well, I told you so.” Thus, shifting responsibility on the shoulders of others. Well, he told me it was gonna happen. What are you gonna do now?



The reason is simple.The whiner tries on the image of a chick that fell out of the nest. It doesn’t matter who is whining, man or woman. In any case, they revel in attention to their person, and any help they receive with a slight spray of indifference: they say, do what you want. I'll wait. And now the “assistant” already becomes a natural victim, who is obliged to do everything for his “kid”.

Conclusions

Peels are actually disappointing. Unfortunately, this behavior is very difficult to change. Not even every specialist will help. Especially if the energy vampire is comfortable. Well, if it is a friend or colleague, at most, a friend. But with relatives can be oh how not sweet. It is important to understand that the constant "wiping snot" will only aggravate the already difficult situation. And then it all depends on your character and willpower.