Advice of Mikhail Labkovsky

Having a loved one nearby is a real gift of fate. But for some reason, many couples do not feel happiness in relationshipsThey just live together and at the same time complain about not the most fabulous personal life. Why don’t they leave a relationship that doesn’t satisfy them? This is not just a problem for women but also for men. It is simply difficult for people to make a choice in their favor, and they make themselves and their innocent partner suffer.





Mikhail Labkovsky is sure: “We all come up with a reason why we are offended, feel sorry for ourselves or feel a sense of injustice.” Editorial "Site" share the advice of a psychologist, how to cope with resentment, feelings of injustice and self-pity, because the reason relationship problems It's in ourselves.

It is worth starting with mutual bestowal in a relationship. We all know that reciprocity is key, but what if you don’t get it? It’s very simple: get out of this relationship. The example of Mikhail Labkovsky: If you walk with a girl, you need to understand that you do it for yourself. You like her, you have a good time together, that's the end of the story. How to behave further, it is her business, your business to walk.



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You can put the question differently: if you give everything to her, and she can not even cut the salad, why are you walking with her? You don’t get what you need, so where do you put your need? It's not a joke. We don’t choose our parents and our partners are free to change. You can meet a girl and say, “I want you to make me a salad later.” She'll say, "I thought it was bed." And if your expectations and needs do not meet, you can stop walking with this girl.



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It is important to understand one important thing: we invent our own reasons and hopes, which then offend or feel guilty. This feeling settles in early childhood, and it is thanks to the second half that it will come out. “We have a need for these experiences. I was like that. For example, I can’t drive a car, and I was often followed by friends. But when they didn't, I was offended. Then I was cured and realized that they owe me nothing.



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The opportunity to be offended can be found everywhere: I could not even talk to a person if he refused to take me somewhere. So my advice is, if you don't like something, you say, "If it happens again, I'll leave." And if the problem is not solved, then you end the relationship, says Labkovsky.



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To live without offense, you need to take responsibility for your choice. If your husband cheats or beats you, and you still stay together with him, then you are so comfortable and this is your conscious choice. Otherwise, you'd leave. No need to accumulate resentment, it is better to understand why you are afraid to be alone. Loneliness is not a phone that is silent, but a lack of interest in oneself. This fear is related only to the fact that a person is bored with himself.”



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Just accept the simple truth: the world doesn’t revolve around you. Someone may not like you, someone may do you a bad favor or quit. But this does not mean that you should be offended or, on the contrary, blame yourself for this. You need to first understand what you want from the same relationship that you are willing to offer in return and then start a relationship. When you learn to take responsibility for your choices, it will be much easier to let go.



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Find interesting hobbies for yourself, take care of yourself, and life will become much more pleasant. It has long been known that only the person who loves himself can give love. Until you begin to respect yourself and your actions, it will be difficult for you to stop blaming others for everything.

Also, we told you why Mikhail Labkovsky sometimes advises to just be lazy.