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Why you should not interfere in other people’s relationships
Life is unpredictable. Sometimes people make decisions that are difficult to explain or understand. There are a lot of stories when people leave everything and change their lives. Some end happily, while others become an instructive example.
Today's edition. "Site" He will tell you one of these stories and share his opinion with a psychologist.
The story was told by a woman concerned about the fate of her mother. After many years of measured life, the mother decided to change everything and made decisions that the daughter is unhappy with. However, should the daughter react so violently to what is happening and force her mother to take her side? We still haven't found a definitive answer.
“Two years ago, when my mother was still living with my father, she met a man online. They began to communicate, my mother spent a lot of time on the Internet. Six months later, without explanation, she left her father and went to live with the man in a rented apartment. She left her apartment, cottage, material well-being and stable family for the sake of a practically unknown man.”
“It shocked me then, but I decided to support my mother because everyone deserves to be happy. I struggled to be on her side, but only until I found out who she had gone to. Her new partner is an unreliable and unworthy man. He is a chronic alcoholic with narcissistic tendencies.
His mother cares about him like a little child. I got him to work a couple of times, coded him, but he started drinking again. Recently, once again got a job, went on a business trip and there went to drink. She went to another town to take him home and bring him back to life.”
“Of course I don’t like all this. My mother has enough of her problems, and then there is happiness in addition. How many times have I tried to talk to her, begged her to come home and leave this man. Mom understands that it is impossible to live like this and that it is time to return home, but she cannot leave him. She says she has feelings and pity for him.
It's powerlessness, I don't know what to do. I can't convince her, but I can't leave her there either. Don't pull her out of there. How can I help her? What do I do? ?
The situation is quite complex and ambiguous. On the one hand, you need to take your mother, save her from an unworthy man, and over time she herself will see and understand that her daughter was right. On the other hand, is it really that simple? The psychologist has an opinion on this question.
You have to start with what your mom really wants. The daughter decided for herself: she does not like this man, her mother is not happy there, she needs to save her. It is understandable, but you need to look at this situation from the mother’s side. She is an adult and is responsible for her own life.
The fact is that you can tell a person as much as you like that his chosen one is unworthy, unreliable, makes bad decisions and spoils everyone’s life. This will not be useful until the person decides what to do with this relationship. If he stays in them, then something is holding him, there is some reason to continue all this.
It happens that a person is loved not for something, but in spite. If a woman is left with an unworthy man out of pity, that is her feeling. From the daughter’s side, it’s simple: stop pitying him, feel sorry for yourself and leave. But where is the guarantee that pity will not be replaced by guilt? She'll blame herself for not saving, not saving, leaving and abandoning. These thoughts could ruin her life.
Everything here is more complicated than it seems at first glance. Mom left everything, went from a prosperous life to nowhere. The decision was not easy and there were serious reasons for it. While these reasons are unknown, it is difficult to understand this situation to the end. Perhaps the old marriage became a burden for her and she wanted a new relationship. The experience, of course, was a failure, but this is her story and her relationship.
You have to ask your mother if she is ready to end this relationship, if she got what she needed from it. If she is ready to go home, then you can help her end this relationship and get out of touch with her current partner. If the mother consciously stays with him, then she needs it for something.
Sometimes you can’t understand what to say about strangers. You can’t decide for someone, even if it’s your loved one. Guide, help with advice and support, but do not force to do anything. Everyone needs to think for themselves what is best for them.
Ending a relationship It’s never easy, even if it’s disappointing. This requires strength, confidence and support of loved ones. It is the support we can give our loved one when he has something wrong in the relationship, and this is what you need to put all your strength.
Of course, this is not universal advice for all life situations. Sometimes a person really needs to be saved, but in this case, you still need to want salvation. It is difficult to give the only correct answer in such a difficult situation. What would you advise your daughter to do?
Today's edition. "Site" He will tell you one of these stories and share his opinion with a psychologist.
The story was told by a woman concerned about the fate of her mother. After many years of measured life, the mother decided to change everything and made decisions that the daughter is unhappy with. However, should the daughter react so violently to what is happening and force her mother to take her side? We still haven't found a definitive answer.
“Two years ago, when my mother was still living with my father, she met a man online. They began to communicate, my mother spent a lot of time on the Internet. Six months later, without explanation, she left her father and went to live with the man in a rented apartment. She left her apartment, cottage, material well-being and stable family for the sake of a practically unknown man.”
“It shocked me then, but I decided to support my mother because everyone deserves to be happy. I struggled to be on her side, but only until I found out who she had gone to. Her new partner is an unreliable and unworthy man. He is a chronic alcoholic with narcissistic tendencies.
His mother cares about him like a little child. I got him to work a couple of times, coded him, but he started drinking again. Recently, once again got a job, went on a business trip and there went to drink. She went to another town to take him home and bring him back to life.”
“Of course I don’t like all this. My mother has enough of her problems, and then there is happiness in addition. How many times have I tried to talk to her, begged her to come home and leave this man. Mom understands that it is impossible to live like this and that it is time to return home, but she cannot leave him. She says she has feelings and pity for him.
It's powerlessness, I don't know what to do. I can't convince her, but I can't leave her there either. Don't pull her out of there. How can I help her? What do I do? ?
The situation is quite complex and ambiguous. On the one hand, you need to take your mother, save her from an unworthy man, and over time she herself will see and understand that her daughter was right. On the other hand, is it really that simple? The psychologist has an opinion on this question.
You have to start with what your mom really wants. The daughter decided for herself: she does not like this man, her mother is not happy there, she needs to save her. It is understandable, but you need to look at this situation from the mother’s side. She is an adult and is responsible for her own life.
The fact is that you can tell a person as much as you like that his chosen one is unworthy, unreliable, makes bad decisions and spoils everyone’s life. This will not be useful until the person decides what to do with this relationship. If he stays in them, then something is holding him, there is some reason to continue all this.
It happens that a person is loved not for something, but in spite. If a woman is left with an unworthy man out of pity, that is her feeling. From the daughter’s side, it’s simple: stop pitying him, feel sorry for yourself and leave. But where is the guarantee that pity will not be replaced by guilt? She'll blame herself for not saving, not saving, leaving and abandoning. These thoughts could ruin her life.
Everything here is more complicated than it seems at first glance. Mom left everything, went from a prosperous life to nowhere. The decision was not easy and there were serious reasons for it. While these reasons are unknown, it is difficult to understand this situation to the end. Perhaps the old marriage became a burden for her and she wanted a new relationship. The experience, of course, was a failure, but this is her story and her relationship.
You have to ask your mother if she is ready to end this relationship, if she got what she needed from it. If she is ready to go home, then you can help her end this relationship and get out of touch with her current partner. If the mother consciously stays with him, then she needs it for something.
Sometimes you can’t understand what to say about strangers. You can’t decide for someone, even if it’s your loved one. Guide, help with advice and support, but do not force to do anything. Everyone needs to think for themselves what is best for them.
Ending a relationship It’s never easy, even if it’s disappointing. This requires strength, confidence and support of loved ones. It is the support we can give our loved one when he has something wrong in the relationship, and this is what you need to put all your strength.
Of course, this is not universal advice for all life situations. Sometimes a person really needs to be saved, but in this case, you still need to want salvation. It is difficult to give the only correct answer in such a difficult situation. What would you advise your daughter to do?
