How to learn to ask for help daughter-in-law so that she does not refuse

Prejudicial attitude towards mother-in-law or daughter-in-law is formed in many people from someone's stories. Life situations are different, but for some reason mother-in-law and daughter-in-law find a reason to face their foreheads. Today we will tell a story that lifts the curtain of a complicated relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This story was told to us by an upset mother-in-law. Lyudmila Petrovna had no prejudices on this subject until she spent the weekend in the country with her son and future daughter-in-law.



I always thought stories about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were exaggerated. You can always find a common language. I'm 55 years old and all my life I've believed that two women who love the same person can resolve any disagreement. I thought so until last weekend. I will remember this weekend at the cottage for a long time.

My son is getting married soon, I saw the bride several times, but did not really communicate. Last weekend we decided to spend the weekend in the country and get acquainted with the bride of the son closer. And the son and daughter-in-law were happy to change the bustling urban environment to the village comfort for a few days.



On Saturday afternoon, the children arrived at the cottage. I cooked a lot of different dishes, in general, preparing for the arrival of guests. When my son and daughter-in-law arrived, I started setting the table. I asked my guest to help me in the kitchen. Of course, I wouldn't have asked her to peel the potatoes, everything was ready. Unless you cut bread, put the appliances on the table.

I see that the girl did not give the appearance that she heard me, stayed with her son at the table. Okay, I think maybe she didn't hear it. I brought everything from the kitchen myself. After lunch, the daughter-in-law and his son went to the house to rest from the road. My husband and I went to the kitchen to wash dishes.



A simple request for the guest room I prepared, of course, as expected. And after the rest, the youth decided to walk by the river, then returned to the set table for dinner. I say, let’s drink tea and fry kebabs. Masha, please cut the cheese. And she says to me: I, Lyudmila Petrovna, have a rule. It is better not to do anything at a party. The hostess knows better how to cut cheese and set the table.

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I was, frankly, taken aback. Is it possible to cut cheese for a sandwich incorrectly? The future daughter-in-law adhered to her rule all weekend. She didn’t help, she didn’t want to cook anything. In the evening, when her husband and son began to fry kebabs, Maria stood next to her and talked sweetly. Meanwhile, I was setting the table again. My son saw that I was, gently speaking, excited about the state of things, and volunteered to wash the dishes in the evening. Masha did not even pay attention to this and did not volunteer to help him.



We could at least remove the plates from the table. In the country, everything is clean and clean, there is hot water, so the dishes could be washed. It's not a man's business. The next day, the newlyweds slept until noon. Then they began to slowly gather for departure, as tomorrow to go to work. Even the bed was not cleaned up... They probably didn’t want to make the wrong bed either.



I love guests, my sister and nephews often come to me, friends, colleagues of my husband. Every time someone tries to help. My sister always washes the dishes, says that since I cooked, she'll clean it up. My friends come with a meal from home so I don’t cook much. Every time, even those who come for the first time, somehow try to help. Of course, I refuse, it is not accepted to force guests to do anything, but nevertheless.



This behavior is strange to me. I don't know how to get along with my daughter-in-law, because she and her son are getting married this fall. There is no desire to help children if they do not want to help their parents now.”



Lyudmila Petrovna was right when she said that you can always find a common language. The main thing is not to get upset before the time. The first thing you need to do is sit down and talk calmly, discuss what and how it is in her house. Each house has its own rules, daughter-in-law, perhaps? tried not to disturb the harmony and a little overdone.