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How to improve relationships between relatives
It is possible to consider the real lucky man whose closest women (wife and mother) managed to find a common language. Often relationships. mother-in-law They get worse so much that they turn into real family wars, during which other relatives suffer.
Why is it so difficult for these women to find common ground? And what is a man obliged to do to prevent a conflict from which no one will be better off, and is he obliged to do?
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: The first dispute we had with my mother-in-law happened on the eve of the wedding. She was staying with her eldest son, but suddenly decided to sleep with us. As a result, Lyubovna came to us around midnight.
To my remark that I should at least be warned, because I have to prepare the bed, and finish my business, and warn about the visit, like the norm, my mother-in-law exploded in indignation. She insulted me, and my beloved just sat in the kitchen and kept silent.
“In the morning the future relative left. My partner later called from work and offered to postpone or cancel the wedding. It turned out that relatives on his part now think about me incomprehensible, and most likely will not come. Nothing was canceled, the wedding took place. Everyone's here.
A year later, they had a baby. My mother-in-law arrived on the 10th day after giving birth, despite my requests not to come, because at first I felt unwell and did not want to see anyone. Whoever gave birth will understand.
“The baby has colic, cries. I'm nervous. And my mother-in-law came and buzzed that it was dysbiosis, that it was because of antibiotics that I was injected in the hospital. Stands over your head and pumps. I chose not to answer.
A little later the doctor came, examined the child, prescribed medication. The husband went to the pharmacy, the father-in-law followed him. After a while, the husband returned in a bad mood, alone. The mother-in-law went to sleep with her eldest son, they say, she definitely will not sleep.
I took the DVR from the car and listened to what they were saying. It turned out that all the way the mother-in-law told her what a sick daughter-in-law (I), and asked where her son found her. “Son” was silent and did not even try to intercede for me. He didn't say a word in defense!
Now I feel like I'm superfluous in this family. On the one hand, the mother-in-law, who picks on everything and seems to just hate me. And on the other hand, a husband who seems to love, but allows me to insult both in the face and behind my back. Isn't he supposed to be my protection? ?
Mother-in-law-in-law relationship This family is far from ideal. And one of the main problems is the inaction of the new husband, who is obliged to prevent insults from coming from any side. We decided to seek help from Archpriest Vladimir Parkhomenko.
“A family is like a ship. As soon as the family was formed, the ship went to sea. It's a unit in its own right. The problem is that not everyone sees it that way. And the task of the new family is to protect themselves from any outside influence, not to let their ship moor to any shore, says Father Vladimir.
“Of course, parents cannot be thrown overboard. And when the mother “drips on the brain” that the daughter-in-law is bad, you need to be wise, on the one hand, not to offend the mother, and on the other – to be a kind of swamp in which drowns all the negativity towards the wife. You cannot relay the criticism, otherwise it will be a blow to the wife.”
“When we marry, we always remind the young that they are now one, and therefore everything that happens between them must remain between them. And to the question of my mother, “How are you?” you should answer “Everything is fine, everything is fine”, and nothing else.
A daughter-in-law does not have to try to please or like her. If the daughter-in-law behaves harshly or tactlessly, then she should correct herself, not for the sake of others, but for herself. However, playing someone else’s role or trying to remake yourself is not necessary. You just need to remember that the beginning of family life is the most difficult, which means that later it will be easier, concluded Father Vladimir.
Recently we have already told how the mother-in-law paid off a cheeky daughter-in-law who tried to take away her house. And also talked about what can lead to a warm relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Harmony is possible even between these people.
What do you think about that?
Why is it so difficult for these women to find common ground? And what is a man obliged to do to prevent a conflict from which no one will be better off, and is he obliged to do?
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: The first dispute we had with my mother-in-law happened on the eve of the wedding. She was staying with her eldest son, but suddenly decided to sleep with us. As a result, Lyubovna came to us around midnight.
To my remark that I should at least be warned, because I have to prepare the bed, and finish my business, and warn about the visit, like the norm, my mother-in-law exploded in indignation. She insulted me, and my beloved just sat in the kitchen and kept silent.
“In the morning the future relative left. My partner later called from work and offered to postpone or cancel the wedding. It turned out that relatives on his part now think about me incomprehensible, and most likely will not come. Nothing was canceled, the wedding took place. Everyone's here.
A year later, they had a baby. My mother-in-law arrived on the 10th day after giving birth, despite my requests not to come, because at first I felt unwell and did not want to see anyone. Whoever gave birth will understand.
“The baby has colic, cries. I'm nervous. And my mother-in-law came and buzzed that it was dysbiosis, that it was because of antibiotics that I was injected in the hospital. Stands over your head and pumps. I chose not to answer.
A little later the doctor came, examined the child, prescribed medication. The husband went to the pharmacy, the father-in-law followed him. After a while, the husband returned in a bad mood, alone. The mother-in-law went to sleep with her eldest son, they say, she definitely will not sleep.
I took the DVR from the car and listened to what they were saying. It turned out that all the way the mother-in-law told her what a sick daughter-in-law (I), and asked where her son found her. “Son” was silent and did not even try to intercede for me. He didn't say a word in defense!
Now I feel like I'm superfluous in this family. On the one hand, the mother-in-law, who picks on everything and seems to just hate me. And on the other hand, a husband who seems to love, but allows me to insult both in the face and behind my back. Isn't he supposed to be my protection? ?
Mother-in-law-in-law relationship This family is far from ideal. And one of the main problems is the inaction of the new husband, who is obliged to prevent insults from coming from any side. We decided to seek help from Archpriest Vladimir Parkhomenko.
“A family is like a ship. As soon as the family was formed, the ship went to sea. It's a unit in its own right. The problem is that not everyone sees it that way. And the task of the new family is to protect themselves from any outside influence, not to let their ship moor to any shore, says Father Vladimir.
“Of course, parents cannot be thrown overboard. And when the mother “drips on the brain” that the daughter-in-law is bad, you need to be wise, on the one hand, not to offend the mother, and on the other – to be a kind of swamp in which drowns all the negativity towards the wife. You cannot relay the criticism, otherwise it will be a blow to the wife.”
“When we marry, we always remind the young that they are now one, and therefore everything that happens between them must remain between them. And to the question of my mother, “How are you?” you should answer “Everything is fine, everything is fine”, and nothing else.
A daughter-in-law does not have to try to please or like her. If the daughter-in-law behaves harshly or tactlessly, then she should correct herself, not for the sake of others, but for herself. However, playing someone else’s role or trying to remake yourself is not necessary. You just need to remember that the beginning of family life is the most difficult, which means that later it will be easier, concluded Father Vladimir.
Recently we have already told how the mother-in-law paid off a cheeky daughter-in-law who tried to take away her house. And also talked about what can lead to a warm relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Harmony is possible even between these people.
What do you think about that?
