Men don’t leave bad wives because they’re afraid they’ll find it worse.

Selfishness in relationships can manifest itself in different ways. There is a healthy sense of selfishness when we try. maintain their own boundaries and your individuality. However, there are manifestations of selfishness that only harm and destroy relationships. We'll talk about them today.

For me, “bad” selfishness manifests itself primarily in shifting most of the responsibility for a relationship to someone. Many years ago, I heard the phrase “both are always to blame for problems” and it angered me, but now I agree with it. Situations are different, but the desire to quickly get rid of responsibility and blame the partner for all the troubles says a lot.



There are several trends that have their roots in antiquity, when the status of women and men in relationships, as in society as a whole, was far from equal. Then the woman was the notorious “guardian of the hearth”, responsible for the atmosphere in the house and family. She met her husband from work and had to make him happy. delicious food and good mood..



Now in most cases, both partners work, and the position of the husband and wife has changed dramatically over the centuries. Pledge. Quality and long-term relationshipsWhat brings joy to both is equality. Of course, it is not possible in all aspects. However, these differences are no longer justified by the sex of the partners, but by their nature.



A lot depends on personal characteristics. Perfect when people have General characteristics and opposite features. The first, for example, may concern views of the world and relationships. It is important that these things are similar. But some aspects of life, interests and individual characteristics of character can be formed like a puzzle.



For example, one person weakly able to express emotionsThe second is a true professional in this regard. There is unobtrusive and gradual learning. The first one learns to correctly define his emotions, which makes his life happier and easier. The second one learns to understand people who have similar problems. patiently.



Or another situation. One partner is optimistic and easily perceive life's twists and turns. But his pair is more “heavy” in this regard, and it is difficult to let go of difficult situations. The second person will learn from the first to focus less on the negative.

Why relationships don’t work out, and so do modern relationships of adults adequate people. Blaming each other for their own emotional turmoil is not an option. Especially when you're trying to figure it out. You can't and won't.. The other person doesn't have to be your escape from a bad mood. You're responsible for this.



A certain level of patience with a partner’s emotional discord should not translate into total acceptance and submission. It is important to be able to express your emotions and explain to your partner what is happening to you. One should not expect a person to he'll figure it out.. There is usually nothing good about such expectations. Some resentment and more misunderstanding.

Don't burden your mind. stereotypes about roles in the family and marriage. Look for an individual approach to the relationship that will suit you and your partner, even if society does not fully approve of it. And you should not dwell on relationships in which you are uncomfortable and bad for a long time. If you really try to understand, accept and correct, and your partner only accuses and resents you. You know, What would be best for you then?.