In many couples, the issue of trust
has grown significantly over time. This is due to many factors. For example, with our upbringing, previous experience and even mood. How can you learn to trust if a person has not lived up to your expectations? But what about a partner who is suspicious for no reason?
How to learn to trust My friend recently told that her husband gave her a password for his phone for the New Year. Fortunately, the friend was quite self-critical and realized that she herself had brought the relationship to such a state where the husband, tired of constant scandals, decided on a similar act.
And yet she could not resist and looked into his device. Imagine her surprise when she realized that the phone was knocked down to its original settings, and her husband clearly uses something completely different. This is the situation ...
What kind of trust can we talk about if people, without permission, or even with it, invade each other's personal space?
I am sure that even a lack of trust cannot justify such behavior.
Why there is no point in looking into your spouse's phone If you find anything in the device, then, firstly, you will feel guilty for invading your personal space. Secondly, empty suspicions can offend a loved one
. However, let's imagine the opposite situation. You found something incriminating on your spouse's phone. So, what is next?
Make a scandal? Or maybe disperse? The situation will only get more complicated. And we all have different ideas about the wrong behavior of the wrong partner
. For some, such behavior will already be considered a like under a photo of an unfamiliar young lady. And someone may even be indignant at the presence of beautiful models in Instagram subscriptions.
Our vision of right and wrong in relationships comes only through experience
. Someone thinks that if a partner admires other people, then this will certainly lead to betrayal. Or, for example, he definitely doesn't love you anymore, because he outwardly likes someone else. Personally, I think that from viewing someone's photos to betrayal, the distance is like from Cuba to China.
We must reckon with the views of our loved ones if we want to be with them and want them to be comfortable with us. And yet it is sometimes necessary to understand the true causes of the problem
. For example, if you are constantly jealous, even though there is never a reason, maybe it's not a loved one? Perhaps it is because of your lack of confidence in yourself, your appearance and similar things?
Trust through communication In the case when jealousy and mistrust cannot leave you in any way and you constantly feel aggression or frustration about this, it is best to talk about it directly. However, don't start the conversation with pressure or accusations. Shift the emphasis of your anxiety
to yourself. For example, say not “You allow yourself to look at others, and I don’t trust you!”, But “I feel insecure and uncomfortable, because it seems to me that you like someone more. Let's talk about it…"
Checking phones will give nothing. It will only be the next step towards misunderstanding and more quarrels. If a person wants to hide something, he will hide it. If you start looking for a maniacal reason for breaking up
, then, believe me, you will find it anyway.
Have you ever looked into your partner's phone? What did you feel after that?