Most useful words

Need is a heavy word. Many of us think that being in need is a shame. To need is to depend on who can satisfy the need.

Need is often denied, not recognized. For many to recognize themselves as needy, dependent, means to plunge into the horror of helplessness, the nightmare of powerlessness, to lose control, not to cope, to shame.

Meanwhile, the quality of life depends on how natural it is for us to recognize our need, to accept that it exists: whether we spend it to protect ourselves from the consequences of non-recognition by intrusively establishing our control, or, having agreed to respect it, strive for more environmentally friendly ways of treating ourselves and the world.

Once upon a time, you had to hear very important words. Once upon a time, you had to listen to them to believe that living in this world is not so scary.





To hear and soak, to embrace forever. So that each cell remembers, so that in difficult moments ... it can be remembered.

Remember and follow these words:

“You are important. Everything that happens to you is important. You matter.”
"You can... Not immediately, not without mistakes, but you can.

These important words become beliefs, and then they become supports. Such a support, which helps to withstand the trials of life, helps to remain yourself.

They sound different nuances and shades, they can be built in different ways, depending on how the story of each particular person developed, but they are about one thing.

s***

She is very sorry for homeless animals. She sobs, unable to calm the flow of tears.
- Why do you feel sorry for them?
- They're so miserable... Abandoned, lonely, useless. They were betrayed, abandoned when they believed, trusted, were open.
- Do you think they're suffering?
- Yes, of course! They suffer.
- Does this have anything to do with you? Do you feel the same way?

s***
Sometimes, need finds the few means-roads that remain available. Someone cries, looking at homeless animals, someone’s heart shrinks at the sight of orphanage children; Another soul is torn apart after seeing a movie.

Sometimes it is only in this way that one’s own need can remind oneself, because direct access to it is closed, roads are littered, mined. Vulnerability becomes a symbol of weakness and shame.

Meanwhile, vulnerability has a direct bearing on our childish part, which often has to be amputated due to lack of resources, lack of faith, lack of support.

s***

I ask:

What words did you miss then? What was it important for you to hear in order to remain in a sense of value, significance?
- "I don't know..."

Here's what happened:

She came with a kind of childish pride, she does not even remember what it was; only a feeling remained: a sense of an interrupted flight, a sense of hope overturned, a sense of pain in her very openness and trust.

She came to her educators in the hope of being accepted in her childish creativity, in her childish amazement and delight, and what she heard and heard more than once buried her hopes of her ability to bring something of her own into the world.

"Nothing will work. You're like everyone else. It's no good. This is nonsense, the main thing is to learn.

She still remains with this sentence, in a life written according to the script “on the verge of survival” plus complete powerlessness to change anything in her.

Now the “educator” is inside, he diligently chops off his wings, and the “child” still has no strength to take off.






s***

“What did you want to hear then? What words did you miss? ?
"I don't know."
Maybe:
How did you come up with this?
Or
How do you think you are creative?
Or
"I like it?" ?

She begins to cry...

s***

These words are lacking inside, they must be appropriated, taken, made their own, allowed to repeat them, hear them, believe them.

The unacknowledged need of the inner child never disappears. The more carefully it is hidden, the more fiercely it will look for workarounds, and the deprived will seek to save others, or control them, will become caring, hyper-guardian for others.
He will continue to suffer from hunger.

Only suffering will remind you that injustice is still being done to yourself, that you still deprive yourself of the most important words, while continuing to listen to the self-destructive voices of your inner parents who deprive you of rights and dignity, insisting on your badness and guilt.

s***

What words do you miss?
Maybe:
“I am very sorry that I did not hear myself, I am very sorry that I was angry with myself for what was natural, and I am sorry that all this happened to me; that I was long in need and refused to admit it. I recognize that I need...and from now on, I will listen to myself, to what I want.
I will become a kind, caring parent without shame for what is natural.

s***
The moment you feel lost, lost, unloved,
In the longing of non-acceptance, in the despair of loneliness, give your word to the new inner mother, and hear it.

Allow yourself to hear very different words: “You are important.” Everything that happens to you, everything you feel, is important. You matter.

When you feel broken, depressed, destroyed, lost, burned with shame, at this very moment let your fair inner father utter the most important fatherly words for you. Let him say, and let him hear these words: You can.published



Author: Veronika Khlebova

P.S. And remember, just changing our consciousness – together we change the world!

Source: //veronikahlebova.livejournal.com/21351.html