Understand already, finally, something important in your life.
Can not read further, if your career goes uphill, you captures own life, and you have a happy relationship. Good day to you, friend, this article is not for you, we are all proud of you.
As for the rest, I want you to tried a few things: name five impressive facts about yourself. Write them down or just shout out across the room. If you encounter difficulties, for you, and you goddamn hate.
No. 6. The world only cares about what he can get from you
Let's assume that the person you love most in the world, just shot to death. Lying in the street bleeding and screaming. A guy comes up and tells you "go away". He looks up to wound your favorite and pulls out a penknife is going to operate on the street.
You ask: "are You a doctor?"
He replied: "No."
You say, "But you know what you're doing, right?"
At this point, the guy flips out. He says he's a good, honest, he always arrives on time. He reports that he is a great son, his life is full of fascinating hobby, and he is proud never curses.
Are you confused: "What a fucking value has it all when my love is lying here bleeding! I need someone who knows how to handle gunshot wounds! You can or not?!?"
And now the guy starts to agitate — why are you so superficial and selfish? You what? Don't care about all of those great qualities?Did you not hear what he said to you that he always remembers the birthday of his girlfriend? And in light of all these crazy stuff, really really matters if he knows how to operate?
At this point you jump, grab it with his bloody hands by the shoulders, shake, and holler, "Yeah, none of that shit doesn't matter, because this is a special situation, and I need someone who can stop the bleeding, you sick fucking bastard".And here it is, my horrible thing about the adult world: You are in the same situation every single day. You are the guy with the penknife, and society — bleeding victim of the shooting.
If you want to know why society seems you avoids, or why you don't respect is because society is full of people who need something.They need houses built, they need food, they need entertainment, they need satisfactory sexual relations.
And you arrived at the scene of an emergency with a penknife in hand, simply because of his birth —the moment when you come into this world, you become part of a system designed strictly to listen to people's needs.Or you will zaporojets on the task "to listen to the needs of the people" and earn a unique set of skills, or the world will kick you in the ass.
No matter how you are kind, generous and polite. You're poor, you're lonely, you put up with the cold.
It seems cruel, primitive or materialistic? What about love and kindness — do they mean nothing? Of course, they do. Until they are the consequence of what you are doing to people something that they can't get elsewhere.No. 5. The hippies were wrong
Here's the greatest scene in movie history. It's the famous speech Alec Baldwin from the movie Glengarry Glenn Ross ("Americans" in Russian translation). The character of Baldwin — you take it for the villain — refers to a room full of guys tearing their Asses on the British flag, indicating that they could all be fired if you do not fulfill the sales plan:
"A good guy? I don't care. A great dad? Fuck you! Go home and play with their kids. If you want to work here, stick to the plan."It's rough, tough and borders on sociopathy, but it is also an honest and accurate expression of what is waiting for you the world. The only difference is that in the real world people believe that it is wrong to talk to you, and decide how much better just to let you continue this crap.
This scene changed my life. Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for this film — despite the fact that this is the only scene with him. As noted by smart people, the genius of that speech is that half of the audience thinks "Wow, I wonder how it is when you have head of such a beast?", and the other half thinks, "Hell, Yes! Go and work!"
If you were in that room, some of you would take it as a workflow, but in any case would be filled with the energy of the message, welcoming the curse, "this guy is awesome!"; while some of you would have taken it personally, this guy is a scumbag, he has no right to talk to me. Or — the standard maneuver when narcissism is confronted with a greater power — quietly resented would, fantasizing about how to find information that would put the boss in a negative light.The difference of the two positions — offense against motivation — largely determines, you will succeed in this world or not.
Many people want to match the words of Tyler Durden from Fight Club: "You are not your job."
But in General, you definitely your job. Yes, your "work" and what you mean by the concept of employment can be different things, but in both cases, you are the sum of your useful skills, nothing more. For example, to be a mother is a job that requires certain skills. It's something that people can do to benefit the rest of society. Make no mistake: Your "job" — the good you bring to others is all that you are.
For this reason, surgeons are respected more than Comedy writers. For this reason, engineers are respected more unemployed hipsters. This is the reason your job will become your label if the fact of your death hits the news — "the defender of the National football League has committed suicide." Tyler said "You are not your job," but he also founded a successful soap company and became the head of international social and political movement. It was completely his work.
Or think of it this way: the Company Chick-fil-A spoke out against gay marriage. But despite the protests, the company continued to sell millions of sandwiches every day. Not because the States agreed with them, but because they perfectly make their delicious sandwiches. And that's all that matters.
You do not necessarily have to like it. I'm not like when on my birthday the rain, but he still goes. Clouds formed, rain happened. People have needs, and they evaluate the people they meet. This simple mechanisms of the universe, and they do not correspond to our wishes.
If you are now protesting that you're not a shallow capitalist materialist and that you disagree that money is everything, I ask only one thing: Who said anything about money? You're missing something more important.No. 4. What you create doesn't have to make money, it should benefit people
Let me give you an example not about the money that you will not be able to argue. I read several dozen stories a year from desperate lonely guys. These guys are indignant that women don't want to be with them, despite the fact that they are the most cute in the world. I can explain what is wrong with this set of mental attitudes, but Alec Baldwin again will do it much better than me.
In this case, Baldwin is playing the role of attractive women. Of course, they do not say so directly and sharply — society teaches us not to be honest with people — but the essence is the same. "A good guy? Who cares? If you want to work here, stick to the plan."
"What? Are you saying that I will not be good girls until then, until I have a good salary and a lot of money?"
No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse not to take into account any who disagree with you, because he just superficial and selfish. I ask, what do you suggest? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, and what are you doing to demonstrate these qualities to the world? Don't tell me you're a good guy — it's not enough. Do pretty girls have Boyfriends who are sweet to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding out on the street. You know how to operate or not? "Well, I'm not sexist, not racist, not greedy, not cruel! Not like the other bastards!"
Sorry, I know it's hard to hear, but if all you can do is list of deficiencies, which you do not, then get the fuck back from the patient. There's the witty hunk with a promising career is ready to operate.
It broke your heart? Okay, now what? Are you going to MOPE about it or go to the surgeon? Depends on you, but don't complain that girls fall for scum; they fall for the scum, because those bastards have something to offer them. "But I'm a good listener!"Yes? Because you want to sit quietly instead to get the chance to be close with a pretty girl (and spend every second in my dreams how soft her skin)?
Now imagine that in the life of this girl there's another guy who knows how to listen, and he plays the guitar. To say that you're a good guy is like to be a restaurant that sells different dishes, but simply "food that will not poison". You're like a new movie called "Cinema in English" and the slogan "Actors clearly visible".
I think that is why you can be a "good guy" and still feel awful thinking about yourself. Namely...No. 3. You hate yourself because you're not doing anything
"What? Are you saying that I should read a book on how to find a girl?"
Yes, but only if the first step in this book "Be the man, next to which girls want to be."
This step is always omitted. Always "How do I find work?", not "How do I become the person dreamed of employers?" Always "How to make it so I ponravilsja the girls?" not "How can I be the one like beautiful girls?". See, it's all because the latter issues are likely to require you to engage with many of your favorite hobby, pay more attention to appearance, and God knows what else. You may even have to change your personality.
"But why can't I find someone who will love me for who I am?", you ask. Answer: Because many people need. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is watch and suffer, that there is a world of gunshot wounds, are treated by themselves.
What stops you from being able to fasten truselya and cloak, jump on stage and waving his penis at people? This guy knows the secret to winning in human life: to do something... better than not to.
"But I'm not good at everything!". Well, I have good news — enough time to repeat, and you can be good at everything. I was the crappy writer, when I was a teenager. I got a little better at 25. And while I desperately failed in my career, I wrote in my spare time eight years in a row, according to the article a week before he began to get paid for it. It took me 13 years to become a good enough writer and hit the bestseller list New York Times. It took me 20 000 hours of practice, to Polish my shitty lyrics.
Do not like the prospect of spending all your time getting skills? Well, I have good news and bad news. Good — like selfless practice will help you to come out of his shell — I have lived through years of boring office work, because I knew that I get unique skills on the side. People throw the case halfway, because the results are visible immediately, because they can't imagine that the process is the result.
Bad news — you have no choice. If you want to work here, execute the plan.
Expertname in my opinion, you hate not because of low self esteem, not because people are cruel to you. You hate yourself because you do nothing.
Even you can't "love yourself the way you are" — that's why you're miserable and sending me private messages asking what you should do with your life.Solve the puzzle: How much time do you spend on consumer stuff made by other people (TV, music, video games, websites) instead of doing something different? Only it adds value for your existence.
And if you don't like to hear that, if you meet the phrase "the Important thing is what inside you", which heard in the childhood, I can tell you one thing...No. 2. What is within you, it is important only if it causes you to do something
Since I'm in this business, I know a bunch of aspiring authors. They think about themselves that they are writers, they seem so at parties, they realize that deep inside, they have a writer's heart. The only thing they are missing — where in reality their bloody work.
But really does it matter? Written — all that matters for determining who is a writer and who is not?
For the sake of the Lord's love, Yes.
It is a General acceptance of protection against all that I said above and for a long time, and from any voices of criticism in your life. It's that thing that tells us our egos to protect us from the hard work on yourself: "I know that inside I'm a good person". Can also be worded as "I know who I am" and "I just gotta be me".Don't get me wrong; you all. The guy who built a house for his family from scratch and from scrap materials, did it because he was such a inside.
Any bad deed that you have done, began with poor impulse, some thought rebound inside your skull until, until you were forced to do it. And any good deed done on the same principle. "Who you are inside" is metaphorical manure, which grow your fruit.
And that's what everyone needs to know. And the fact that many of you can't take:"You are a fruit and nothing more".
No one cares about your dung. "Who are you inside" has no meaning apart from what you produce for other people.Inside you have great compassion for the poor. Great. The result of this compassion steel some action on this?
Do you hear about some terrible tragedy and say the "Oh, poor children. Tell them I think of them"? Fuck off, if that's so, find out what they need and help. One hundred million people have watched the video Kony, virtually all they thought about those poor African children. But what made this society of these thoughts? This is fucking shit. Children die every day because millions of us tell yourself that the experience is as good as doing. It's an internal mechanism controlled by the lazy part of our brain that protects us from the real action.How many of you now going around in circles and says "She/he certainly would love me if I only knew/know what I'm an interesting person!" Really?
And all these your interesting thoughts and ideas could independently transfer yourself to the world? Or they have cause of action? If the girl or guy of your dreams would you hidden camera for a month, would they then impressed by what he saw? Remember, they don't read thoughts, they can only see. Would they become part of your life?
@ David Wong
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©