This article will knock you out of the ground under their feet and make your head work.
№ 5. The world cares only what he can get from you
Let's assume that the person you love most in the world, has just been shot. Lying on the street bleeding and screaming. Good guy and tells you to "Get away." He looks around the wound and pulls your favorite penknife - going to operate on the street.
You ask, "Are you a doctor?»
He replied: "No».
You say, "But you know what you're doing, huh?»
At this point, the guy loses his temper. He says he's a good, honest, he always arrives on time. He says that he's a good son, his life is full of fascinating hobby, and he is proud that he never foul language.
Are you confused: "What a fucking important this is all that my love is here and is bleeding! I need someone who knows how to handle gunshot wounds! Can you or not?!? »
And now the guy starts campaigning - what are you superficial and selfish? You what? Do not worry, all these excellent qualities it? You did not hear what he said to you, that he will always remember the birthday of his girlfriend? And in light of all these cool pieces, it really matters whether he knows how to operate?
At this point, you jumped up, grabbed it with his bloody hands on the shoulders, shake and zaoret "Yes, none of this shit does not matter, because it is a special situation, and I need someone who can stop the bleeding, you sick fucking bastard ».
And here it is, my terrible thing about the adult world: You are in the same situation every single day. And you're the guy on the spot with a penknife, and society - bleeding shooting victim.
If you want to know why the company seems to be avoiding you, or why you do not respect, it is because that society is full of people who need something. They need built houses, they need food, they need entertainment, they need a satisfactory sexual intercourse. And you arrived at the scene of an emergency with a penknife in hand, simply by virtue of his birth - the moment when you come into this world, you become part of a system designed strictly to listen to people's needs.
Or you confuse on the task "to listen to the needs of the people" and will earn a unique set of skills, or the world vypnet you in the ass. And no matter how much you are kind, generous and polite. You're poor, you're lonely, you put up on a frost.
It seems cruel, primitive or materialistic? How about love and kindness - they really do not mean anything? Of course, meaningless. Until they are - due to the fact that you are doing something for people that they can not get elsewhere.
№ 4. What you are doing is not obliged to make money, it should benefit people
Let me give you an example not about the money, with which you can not argue. I read a few dozen stories a year of desperate lonely guys. These guys resent that women do not want to be with them, despite the fact that they are the most lovely in the world. I can not explain what is wrong with this set of mental attitudes, but Alec Baldwin again make it much better than me.
In this case the role played by Baldwin attractive female. They certainly did not say so directly and sharply - society teaches us to be honest with people - but the essence is the same. "Good guy? Who cares? If you want to work here, to implement the plan ».
"What? You say that I would not be a good girl for as long as I do not have a good salary and a lot of money? »
No, your brain jumps to that conclusion that you had an excuse not to take into account anyone who does not agree with you, because he is just superficial and selfish. I ask, what do you suggest? You're smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? Ok, so what do you do to demonstrate these qualities to the world? Do not tell me you're a good guy - this is not enough. Do pretty girls have guys that are nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding on the street. You know how to operate or not?
"Well, I'm not sexist, not racist, not greedy, not cruel! Not like the other bastards! »
Sorry, I know it's hard to hear, but if all you can do is a list of flaws that you have not, then get away from the patient to hell. That one witty hunk with a promising career is ready to operate.
It broke your heart? Okay, now what? You're going to be depressed about this, or go learn the surgeon? It depends on you, but do not complain that the girls sink to the dregs; they sink to the dregs because those bastards have something to offer them. "But I know how to listen well!" Huh? Because you want to keep quiet rather than to get a chance to be intimate with a pretty girl (and spend every moment in my dreams about how soft her skin)? Now imagine that the life of this girl, there is another guy who knows how to listen, and he also plays the guitar.
To say that you're a good guy - like being a restaurant that sells no different dishes, but just "a meal that you will not poison." You're like a new movie called "Cinema in English" and the slogan "The actors can be clearly seen».
I think that for this reason you can be a "good guy" and still feel awful thinking about yourself. Namely ...
№ 3. You hate yourself because you're not doing anything
"So what? You say that I should read a book on how to find the girl? »
Yes, but only if the first step in this book "Become the person next to which the girls want to be».
This step is always omitted. Always "How do I find a job?" Rather than "How can I be the person dreamed of employers?" Always, "How to make sure that I like beautiful girls?" Rather than "How can I become who like beautiful girls ? '. See, it's all because the second question most likely require you to engage with many of your favorite hobby, pay more attention to appearance, and God knows what else. You may even have to change your personality.
"But why can not I find someone who will love me this way I am?", You ask. Answer: Because many people need. The victim was bleeding, and all you can do is watch and suffer, that there is in the world of gunshot wounds that are treated by themselves.
Here's another video. What stops you from being able to fasten truselya cloak, jumped on stage and waving penis in public? This guy knows the secret of victory in human life: to do something ... it's better than not to do this.
"But I'm not at all good!". Well, I have good news - enough time for a repeat, and you will be not bad at all. I was the shitty writer, when he was a teenager. I got a little better in the 25. And while I desperately failed in my career, I was writing in his spare time for eight consecutive years, according to an article in the week before began to get paid for it. It took me 13 years to become a good enough writer and get the list of best-selling New York Times. It took 20,000 hours of practice to polish my shitty lyrics.
I do not like the prospect of spending all your time getting skills? Well, I have good news and bad news. Good - such selfless practice will help you come out of his shell - I lived through the years of boring office job, because I knew that I was getting the unique skills on the side. People throw business midway, because the results are not immediately visible because they can not imagine that the process - this is the result.
Bad news - you have no choice. If you want to work here, follow the plan.
In my opinion neekspertnomu, you do not hate yourself because of low self-esteem, not because people are cruel to you. You hate yourself because you are not doing anything. Even you can not "love yourself for who you are" - that's why you're unhappy, and sends me private messages asking what you should do with your life.
Solve the problem: How much time do you spend on consumer pieces made by other people (TV, music, video games, websites), rather than to do something different? Only it adds value to your existence.
And if you do not like to hear it, if you meet the phrase "What is important is what is inside you," which is heard as a child, I can tell you one thing ...
№ 2. What is inside you, it is important only if it makes you do something
Since I am in this business, I know a bunch of aspiring authors. They think of themselves that they are writers, they seem so at parties, they are aware of it deep down inside, they literary heart. The only thing they are missing - which is actually their bloody works.
But in fact, it does it matter? Written - everything that is important to determine who is a writer and who is not?
For the sake of the Lord's love, yes.
This general method of protection against all, as I mentioned above, and for a long time, and from any voice of criticism in your life. This is the thing that tells us our ego to protect us from the hard work is over, "I know that inside I am a good person." It may also be formulated as, "I know who I am" and "I just have to be yourself».
Do not get me wrong; you're inside - everything. The guy who built a house for his family from the ground and from the materials at hand, did it because he is inside. Every bad thing you did, began with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheted inside your skull as long as you are not forced to do it. And every good deed done by the same principle. "Who you are inside" - a metaphorical manure on which to grow your fruit.
And that's what everyone should know. And the fact that many of you can not accept:
"You - a fruit and nothing else».
Nobody cares about your manure. "Who are you inside" has no meaning apart from the fact that you produce for other people.
Inside you have a great compassion for the poor. Excellent. The result of this compassion become any action on this? Did you hear about some terrible tragedy and say at the same time, "Oh, poor kids. Tell them what I think of them? " Go fuck, if this is so - find out what they need, and help. One hundred million people watched the video Kony, virtually everything they thought about those poor African children. But what made this society of these thoughts? Devil shit. Children are dying every day due to the fact that millions of us tell themselves that experience - it's as good as done. This is an internal mechanism that controlled the lazy part of our brain which protects us from the real action.
How many of you are walking in circles and repeats, "She / he will certainly love to me, if only she knew / know what I am interesting person!" Really? And all these your interesting thoughts and ideas could pass yourself to the world? Or should they lead to action? If a girl or boy of your dreams to you filmed with a hidden camera for a month, they were impressed by what they saw then? Remember, they do not read minds, they can only see. They would want to be a part of your life?
All I ask of you is to apply to themselves the same standards that you apply to others. You probably have an annoying friend Christian, all the aid is reduced to "I will pray for them." It's not driving you crazy? I do not comment now, work prayers or not, but it does not change the fact that this person chose the kind of assistance that does not require him to tear your ass off the couch. Such people abstain from all evil, their thoughts are pure, their inner manure clean as much as possible, but what fruit will grow on it? And they need to understand it better than anyone else - I stole fruit metaphor in the Bible. Jesus repeated something like "a tree is judged by its fruits," again and again, and again. Jesus never said, "If you want to work here, follow the plan." No, he said, "Every tree that does not give good fruit is cut down and be thrown into the fire" (Matthew).
People react badly when they say things like that. As managers of the film is not good reacted to the words of Alec Baldwin that they should finally grow eggs or change jobs in the shoe shiners. Which brings us to the final point.
№ 1. All is within you will be fighting with the development
The human mind - it is a miracle, and you'll never see it work better than the time when he was fighting against the obvious evidence of the need for change. Your mind is equipped with protection mechanisms designed for shooting anything that could budge some things inside you - ask any addict.
Even now, some of you are reading this and feel how the brain automatically bombards old and needs not to take it. From my own experience I can say that the bombing may take the form of:
- Intentional understanding of any criticism as an insult
"Who is he to call me lazy and useless! A good man would not talk to me! He wrote all this just to feel superior over me, so I felt like shit! And I do not leave, I even the score! »
- Focusing on who says, not on what they say
"Who is he to tell me how to live! Oh, look at him, what he is big and strong! And in fact, another moronic graphomaniac from the network! I'll go and dig him something that will convince me that he is stupid! Such pretentious, that it makes me sick! I saw his old rap videos on YouTube, and it rhymes - sucks! »
- Focusing on the tone of the message, rather than its content
"I Break all until I find a joke that sounds insulting, being taken out of context and then will speak and think only of her! I've heard that one harsh word can ruin an entire book! »
- Edit your own stories
"It's not so bad! I know that I tried to commit suicide last month, but now I'm better! It is likely that if I continue in the same spirit, all eventually work itself! I'll take a long pause, and continue to show interest in the girl, with the result that she will come! »
- The confidence that any change in itself - it is a betrayal of the self
"Yeah, that is, I have to throw all my comics and plow instead of 6 hours a day in the gym? And use tanning all these assholes from the TV show? Because it is the only alternative ».
And so on. Remember, suffering - it's convenient. That is why many people prefer them. Happiness requires effort.
And courage. Incredibly comfortable to know that if you do not create in this life, no one can attack what you have created.
How much easier to just sit on my ass and criticize what creates others. Movies stupid. Here is a couple of bad mannered children. The relationship of this pair are mired in confusion. This wealthy small as a man. One restaurant - sucks. This online writer - a nerd. I'd rather leave it at work a commentary on the site that will be required to be fired. You see, I created something.
But wait, I forgot to mention it? Yes, everything, no matter what you tried to build or create - whether it be a poem, a new skill, a new relationship - you immediately find yourself surrounded by "no-makers", swears that you're done. Maybe behind your back, but they will do it. Your friends will be drunk against your sobriety. Your fat friends would not want you to start a new fitness regime. Your friends are unemployed do not want to see your career in the dive.
David Wong ©