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6 CRUEL truth that will make you better
This article will knock you out of the ground under their feet and make your head work.
Understand have finally something important in your life that really need our world and what we should do. David Wong is not about the most enjoyable things about what he says is spiritual discomfort, protest, indignation, but at the same time understanding what he was saying things that really help us to change, to become better, more useful, more successful.
You can not read further if your career is going up the hill, you will capture his own life, and you have a happy relationship. Good day to you, my friend, this article is not for you, we are all proud of you.
As for the rest, I want you to try something: Name five impressive facts about yourself. Write them down or just shout out to the whole room. If you encounter difficulties, the article for you, and it is you, damn it, vybesit.
1. The world is concerned only with what he can get from you
Let's assume that the person you love most in the world, has just been shot. Lying on the street bleeding and screaming. Good guy and tells you to "Get away." He looks around the wound and pulls your favorite penknife - going to operate on the street.
You ask, "Are you a doctor?»
He replied: "No».
You say, "But you know what you're doing, huh?»
At this point, the guy loses his temper. He says he's a good, honest, he always arrives on time. He says that he's a good son, his life is full of fascinating hobby, and he is proud that he never foul language.
Are you confused: "How important is it's when my love is here and is bleeding! I need someone who knows how to handle gunshot wounds! Can you or not?!? »
And now the guy starts campaigning - what are you superficial and selfish? You what? Do not worry, all these excellent qualities it? You did not hear what he said to you, that he will always remember the birthday of his girlfriend? And in light of all these cool pieces, it really matters whether he knows how to operate?
At this point, you jumped up, grabbed it with his bloody hands by the shoulders and shake zaoret "Yes, none of this does not matter, because it is a special situation, and I need someone who can stop the bleeding, you are sick .. ..... ».
And here it is, my terrible thing about the adult world: You are in the same situation every single day. And you're the guy on the spot with a penknife, and society - bleeding shooting victim.
If you want to know why the company seems to be avoiding you, or why you do not respect, it is because that society is full of people who need something. They need built houses, they need food, they need entertainment, they need a satisfactory sexual intercourse. And you arrived at the scene of an emergency with a penknife in hand, simply by virtue of his birth - the moment when you come into this world, you become part of a system designed strictly to listen to people's needs.
Or you confuse on the task "to listen to the needs of the people" and will earn a unique set of skills, or the world vypnet you in the ass. And no matter how much you are kind, generous and polite. You're poor, you're lonely, you put up on a frost.
It seems cruel, primitive or materialistic? What about love and kindness - they really do not mean anything? Of course, meaningless. Until they are - due to the fact that you are doing something for people that they can not get elsewhere.
2. The hippies were wrong
That is the greatest scene in movie history. This famous speech Alec Baldwin masterwork of Glengarry Glenn Ross («The Americans" in the Russian translation - approx.). Baldwin's character - you take him for a villain - refers to a room full of guys and tear their asses on the British flag, indicating that they may be fired if you do not execute a sales plan:
"Good guy? I do not care. A great father? Fuck you! Go home and play with their kids. If you want to work here, to implement the plan ».
It's rough, tough and borders on sociopathy, but in addition it is a fair and accurate expression of what the world expects from you. The only difference is that in the real world, people believe that it is impossible so to talk to you, and decide that much better just to let you continue to get on this.
This scene from the movie changed my life. Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for this film - despite the fact that it is the only scene with him. As noted by smart people, genius of this speech is that half of the audience is thinking, "Wow, I wonder how it is when you have a head of this beast?", While the other half thought "Heck yeah! Go and work! »
If you were in the room, some of you would perceive it as a workflow, but in any case be filled with the energy of the message, welcome taking the curse "ofigitelen this guy!"; while some of you would have accepted it personally, this guy - a bastard, he has no right to talk to me. Or - a standard maneuver when narcissism is facing with more force - quietly indignant be fantasizing about how to find information that would put the boss in a negative light.
The difference of two positions - resentment against motivation - largely determines you succeed in this world or not. Many people want to meet the expression of Tyler Durden in "Fight Club", "You - it's not your job».
But in general, of course, you are most definitely - your job. Yes, your "work" and what you mean by the concept of employment, things may be different, but in both cases, you are the sum of your useful skills, no more. For example, to be a mother - a job that requires specific skills. This is something that a person can do to benefit the rest of society. Make no mistake: Your "job" - benefits that you bring to others - that's all you have.
For this reason, surgeons are respected more than comedy writers. For this reason, engineers are respected more unemployed hipsters. This is the reason that your job becomes your label, if the fact of your death gets into the news - "Defender of the National Football League, committed suicide." Tyler said, "You - not your job," but he also founded a successful company for the production of soap and became the head of the international social and political movement. It was completely my work.
Or think of it this way: The company Chick-fil-A publicly opposed gay marriage. But despite the protests, the company continued to sell millions of sandwiches every day. Not because States were in agreement with them, but because they are great make their delicious sandwiches. And that's all that matters.
You do not necessarily have to like it. I'm not like it when my birthday comes rain, but he still goes. Clouds were formed, there was a rain. People have needs, and through them they evaluate people they meet. This simple mechanism of the universe, and they do not meet our wishes.
If you are protesting, saying that you're not small capitalist and materialist, that you do not agree with that money - that's all I ask only one thing: Who said a word about money? You're missing something more important.
3. What you are doing is not obliged to make money, it should benefit people
Let me give you an example not about the money, with which you can not argue. I read a few dozen stories a year of desperate lonely guys. These guys resent that women do not want to be with them, despite the fact that they are the most lovely in the world. I can not explain what is wrong with this set of mental attitudes, but Alec Baldwin again make it much better than me.
In this case the role played by Baldwin attractive female. They certainly did not say so directly and sharply - society teaches us to be honest with people - but the essence is the same. "Good guy? Who cares? If you want to work here, to implement the plan ».
"What? You say that I would not be a good girl for as long as I do not have a good salary and a lot of money? »
No, your brain jumps to that conclusion that you had an excuse not to take into account anyone who does not agree with you, because he is just superficial and selfish. I ask, what do you suggest? You're smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? Ok, so what do you do to demonstrate these qualities to the world? Do not tell me you're a good guy - this is not enough. Do pretty girls have guys that are nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding on the street. You know how to operate or not?
"Well, I'm not sexist, not racist, not greedy, not cruel! Not like the other bastards! »
Sorry, I know it's hard to hear, but if all you can do is a list of flaws that you have not, then get away from the patient to hell. That one witty hunk with a promising career is ready to operate.
It broke your heart? Okay, now what? You're going to be depressed about this, or go learn the surgeon? It depends on you, but do not complain that the girls sink to the dregs; they sink to the dregs because those bastards have something to offer them. "But I know how to listen well!" Huh? Because you want to keep quiet rather than to get a chance to be intimate with a pretty girl (and spend every moment in my dreams about how soft her skin)? Now imagine that the life of this girl, there is another guy who knows how to listen, and he also plays the guitar.
To say that you're a good guy - like being a restaurant that sells no different dishes, but just "a meal that you will not poison." You're like a new movie called "Cinema in English" and the slogan "The actors can be clearly seen».
I think that for this reason you can be a "good guy" and still feel awful thinking about yourself. Namely ...
4. Do you hate yourself because you're not doing anything
"So what? You say that I should read a book on how to find the girl? »
Yes, but only if the first step in this book "Become the person next to which the girls want to be».
This step is always omitted. Always "How do I find a job?" Rather than "How can I be the person dreamed of employers?" Always, "How to make sure that I like beautiful girls?" Rather than "How can I become who like beautiful girls ? '. See, it's all because the second question most likely require you to engage with many of your favorite hobby, pay more attention to appearance, and God knows what else. You may even have to change your personality.
"But why can not I find someone who will love me this way I am?", You ask. Answer: Because many people need. The victim was bleeding, and all you can do is watch and suffer, that there is in the world of gunshot wounds that are treated by themselves.
Here's another video. What stops you from being able to fasten truselya cloak, jumped on stage and waving penis in public? This guy knows the secret of victory in human life: to do something ... it's better than not to do this.
"But I'm not at all good!". Well, I have good news - enough time for a repeat, and you will be not bad at all. I was the worst writer, when he was a teenager. I got a little better in the 25. And while I desperately failed in my career, I was writing in his spare time for eight consecutive years, according to an article in the week before began to get paid for it. It took me 13 years to become a good enough writer and get the list of best-selling New York Times. It took 20,000 hours of practice to polish my bad lyrics.
I do not like the prospect of spending all your time getting skills? Well, I have good news and bad news. Good - such selfless practice will help you come out of his shell - I lived through the years of boring office job, because I knew that I was getting the unique skills on the side. People throw business midway, because the results are not immediately visible because they can not imagine that the process - this is the result.
Bad news - you have no choice. If you want to work here, follow the plan.
In my opinion neekspertnomu, you do not hate yourself because of low self-esteem, not because people are cruel to you. You hate yourself because you are not doing anything. Even you can not "love yourself for who you are" - that's why you're unhappy, and sends me private messages asking what you should do with your life.
Solve the problem: How much time do you spend on consumer pieces made by other people (TV, music, video games, websites), rather than to do something different? Only it adds value to your existence.
And if you do not like to hear it, if you meet the phrase "What is important is what is inside you," which is heard as a child, I can tell you one thing ...
5. What is inside you, it is important only if it makes you do something
Since I am in this business, I know a bunch of aspiring authors. They think of themselves that they are writers, they seem so at parties, they are aware of it deep down inside, they literary heart. The only thing they are missing - which is actually their bloody works.
But in fact, it does it matter? Written - everything that is important to determine who is a writer and who is not?
For the sake of the Lord's love, yes.
This general method of protection against all, as I mentioned above, and for a long time, and from any voice of criticism in your life. This is the thing that tells us our ego to protect us from the hard work is over, "I know that inside I am a good person." It may also be formulated as, "I know who I am" and "I just have to be yourself».
Do not misunderstand me; you're inside - everything. The guy who built a house for his family from the ground and from the materials at hand, did it because he is inside. Every bad thing you did, began with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheted inside your skull as long as you are not forced to do it. And every good deed done by the same principle. "Who you are inside" - a metaphorical manure on which to grow your fruit.
And that's what everyone should know. And the fact that many of you can not accept:
"You - the fruit and nothing else».
Nobody cares about your manure. "Who are you inside" has no meaning apart from the fact that you produce for other people.
Inside you have a great compassion for the poor. Excellent. The result of this compassion become any action on this? Did you hear about some terrible tragedy and say at the same time, "Oh, poor kids. Tell them what I think of them? " Go fuck, if this is so - find out what they need, and help. One hundred million people watched the video Kony, virtually everything they thought about those poor African children. But what made this society of these thoughts? Children are dying every day due to the fact that millions of us tell themselves that experience - it's as good as done. This is an internal mechanism that controlled the lazy part of our brain which protects us from the real action.
How many of you are walking in circles and repeats, "She / he will certainly love to me, if only she knew / know what I am interesting person!" Really? And all these your interesting thoughts and ideas could pass yourself to the world? Or should they lead to action? If a girl or boy of your dreams to you filmed with a hidden camera for a month, they were impressed by what they saw then? Remember, they do not read minds, they can only see. They would want to be a part of your life?
All I ask of you is to apply to themselves the same standards that you apply to others. You probably have an annoying friend Christian, all the aid is reduced to "I will pray for them." It's not driving you crazy? I do not comment now, work prayers or not, but it does not change the fact that this person chose the kind of assistance that does not require him to tear your ass off the couch. Such people abstain from all evil, their thoughts are pure, their inner manure clean as much as possible, but what fruit will grow on it? And they need to understand it better than anyone else - I stole fruit metaphor in the Bible. Jesus repeated something like "a tree is judged by its fruits," again and again, and again. Jesus never said, "If you want to work here, follow the plan." No, he said, "Every tree that does not give good fruit is cut down and be thrown into the fire" (Matthew).
People react badly when they say things like that. As managers of the film is not good reacted to the words of Alec Baldwin that they should finally grow eggs or change jobs in the shoe shiners. Which brings us to the final point ...
6. All within you will be fighting with the development
Understand have finally something important in your life that really need our world and what we should do. David Wong is not about the most enjoyable things about what he says is spiritual discomfort, protest, indignation, but at the same time understanding what he was saying things that really help us to change, to become better, more useful, more successful.
You can not read further if your career is going up the hill, you will capture his own life, and you have a happy relationship. Good day to you, my friend, this article is not for you, we are all proud of you.
As for the rest, I want you to try something: Name five impressive facts about yourself. Write them down or just shout out to the whole room. If you encounter difficulties, the article for you, and it is you, damn it, vybesit.
1. The world is concerned only with what he can get from you
Let's assume that the person you love most in the world, has just been shot. Lying on the street bleeding and screaming. Good guy and tells you to "Get away." He looks around the wound and pulls your favorite penknife - going to operate on the street.
You ask, "Are you a doctor?»
He replied: "No».
You say, "But you know what you're doing, huh?»
At this point, the guy loses his temper. He says he's a good, honest, he always arrives on time. He says that he's a good son, his life is full of fascinating hobby, and he is proud that he never foul language.
Are you confused: "How important is it's when my love is here and is bleeding! I need someone who knows how to handle gunshot wounds! Can you or not?!? »
And now the guy starts campaigning - what are you superficial and selfish? You what? Do not worry, all these excellent qualities it? You did not hear what he said to you, that he will always remember the birthday of his girlfriend? And in light of all these cool pieces, it really matters whether he knows how to operate?
At this point, you jumped up, grabbed it with his bloody hands by the shoulders and shake zaoret "Yes, none of this does not matter, because it is a special situation, and I need someone who can stop the bleeding, you are sick .. ..... ».
And here it is, my terrible thing about the adult world: You are in the same situation every single day. And you're the guy on the spot with a penknife, and society - bleeding shooting victim.
If you want to know why the company seems to be avoiding you, or why you do not respect, it is because that society is full of people who need something. They need built houses, they need food, they need entertainment, they need a satisfactory sexual intercourse. And you arrived at the scene of an emergency with a penknife in hand, simply by virtue of his birth - the moment when you come into this world, you become part of a system designed strictly to listen to people's needs.
Or you confuse on the task "to listen to the needs of the people" and will earn a unique set of skills, or the world vypnet you in the ass. And no matter how much you are kind, generous and polite. You're poor, you're lonely, you put up on a frost.
It seems cruel, primitive or materialistic? What about love and kindness - they really do not mean anything? Of course, meaningless. Until they are - due to the fact that you are doing something for people that they can not get elsewhere.
2. The hippies were wrong
That is the greatest scene in movie history. This famous speech Alec Baldwin masterwork of Glengarry Glenn Ross («The Americans" in the Russian translation - approx.). Baldwin's character - you take him for a villain - refers to a room full of guys and tear their asses on the British flag, indicating that they may be fired if you do not execute a sales plan:
"Good guy? I do not care. A great father? Fuck you! Go home and play with their kids. If you want to work here, to implement the plan ».
It's rough, tough and borders on sociopathy, but in addition it is a fair and accurate expression of what the world expects from you. The only difference is that in the real world, people believe that it is impossible so to talk to you, and decide that much better just to let you continue to get on this.
This scene from the movie changed my life. Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for this film - despite the fact that it is the only scene with him. As noted by smart people, genius of this speech is that half of the audience is thinking, "Wow, I wonder how it is when you have a head of this beast?", While the other half thought "Heck yeah! Go and work! »
If you were in the room, some of you would perceive it as a workflow, but in any case be filled with the energy of the message, welcome taking the curse "ofigitelen this guy!"; while some of you would have accepted it personally, this guy - a bastard, he has no right to talk to me. Or - a standard maneuver when narcissism is facing with more force - quietly indignant be fantasizing about how to find information that would put the boss in a negative light.
The difference of two positions - resentment against motivation - largely determines you succeed in this world or not. Many people want to meet the expression of Tyler Durden in "Fight Club", "You - it's not your job».
But in general, of course, you are most definitely - your job. Yes, your "work" and what you mean by the concept of employment, things may be different, but in both cases, you are the sum of your useful skills, no more. For example, to be a mother - a job that requires specific skills. This is something that a person can do to benefit the rest of society. Make no mistake: Your "job" - benefits that you bring to others - that's all you have.
For this reason, surgeons are respected more than comedy writers. For this reason, engineers are respected more unemployed hipsters. This is the reason that your job becomes your label, if the fact of your death gets into the news - "Defender of the National Football League, committed suicide." Tyler said, "You - not your job," but he also founded a successful company for the production of soap and became the head of the international social and political movement. It was completely my work.
Or think of it this way: The company Chick-fil-A publicly opposed gay marriage. But despite the protests, the company continued to sell millions of sandwiches every day. Not because States were in agreement with them, but because they are great make their delicious sandwiches. And that's all that matters.
You do not necessarily have to like it. I'm not like it when my birthday comes rain, but he still goes. Clouds were formed, there was a rain. People have needs, and through them they evaluate people they meet. This simple mechanism of the universe, and they do not meet our wishes.
If you are protesting, saying that you're not small capitalist and materialist, that you do not agree with that money - that's all I ask only one thing: Who said a word about money? You're missing something more important.
3. What you are doing is not obliged to make money, it should benefit people
Let me give you an example not about the money, with which you can not argue. I read a few dozen stories a year of desperate lonely guys. These guys resent that women do not want to be with them, despite the fact that they are the most lovely in the world. I can not explain what is wrong with this set of mental attitudes, but Alec Baldwin again make it much better than me.
In this case the role played by Baldwin attractive female. They certainly did not say so directly and sharply - society teaches us to be honest with people - but the essence is the same. "Good guy? Who cares? If you want to work here, to implement the plan ».
"What? You say that I would not be a good girl for as long as I do not have a good salary and a lot of money? »
No, your brain jumps to that conclusion that you had an excuse not to take into account anyone who does not agree with you, because he is just superficial and selfish. I ask, what do you suggest? You're smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? Ok, so what do you do to demonstrate these qualities to the world? Do not tell me you're a good guy - this is not enough. Do pretty girls have guys that are nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding on the street. You know how to operate or not?
"Well, I'm not sexist, not racist, not greedy, not cruel! Not like the other bastards! »
Sorry, I know it's hard to hear, but if all you can do is a list of flaws that you have not, then get away from the patient to hell. That one witty hunk with a promising career is ready to operate.
It broke your heart? Okay, now what? You're going to be depressed about this, or go learn the surgeon? It depends on you, but do not complain that the girls sink to the dregs; they sink to the dregs because those bastards have something to offer them. "But I know how to listen well!" Huh? Because you want to keep quiet rather than to get a chance to be intimate with a pretty girl (and spend every moment in my dreams about how soft her skin)? Now imagine that the life of this girl, there is another guy who knows how to listen, and he also plays the guitar.
To say that you're a good guy - like being a restaurant that sells no different dishes, but just "a meal that you will not poison." You're like a new movie called "Cinema in English" and the slogan "The actors can be clearly seen».
I think that for this reason you can be a "good guy" and still feel awful thinking about yourself. Namely ...
4. Do you hate yourself because you're not doing anything
"So what? You say that I should read a book on how to find the girl? »
Yes, but only if the first step in this book "Become the person next to which the girls want to be».
This step is always omitted. Always "How do I find a job?" Rather than "How can I be the person dreamed of employers?" Always, "How to make sure that I like beautiful girls?" Rather than "How can I become who like beautiful girls ? '. See, it's all because the second question most likely require you to engage with many of your favorite hobby, pay more attention to appearance, and God knows what else. You may even have to change your personality.
"But why can not I find someone who will love me this way I am?", You ask. Answer: Because many people need. The victim was bleeding, and all you can do is watch and suffer, that there is in the world of gunshot wounds that are treated by themselves.
Here's another video. What stops you from being able to fasten truselya cloak, jumped on stage and waving penis in public? This guy knows the secret of victory in human life: to do something ... it's better than not to do this.
"But I'm not at all good!". Well, I have good news - enough time for a repeat, and you will be not bad at all. I was the worst writer, when he was a teenager. I got a little better in the 25. And while I desperately failed in my career, I was writing in his spare time for eight consecutive years, according to an article in the week before began to get paid for it. It took me 13 years to become a good enough writer and get the list of best-selling New York Times. It took 20,000 hours of practice to polish my bad lyrics.
I do not like the prospect of spending all your time getting skills? Well, I have good news and bad news. Good - such selfless practice will help you come out of his shell - I lived through the years of boring office job, because I knew that I was getting the unique skills on the side. People throw business midway, because the results are not immediately visible because they can not imagine that the process - this is the result.
Bad news - you have no choice. If you want to work here, follow the plan.
In my opinion neekspertnomu, you do not hate yourself because of low self-esteem, not because people are cruel to you. You hate yourself because you are not doing anything. Even you can not "love yourself for who you are" - that's why you're unhappy, and sends me private messages asking what you should do with your life.
Solve the problem: How much time do you spend on consumer pieces made by other people (TV, music, video games, websites), rather than to do something different? Only it adds value to your existence.
And if you do not like to hear it, if you meet the phrase "What is important is what is inside you," which is heard as a child, I can tell you one thing ...
5. What is inside you, it is important only if it makes you do something
Since I am in this business, I know a bunch of aspiring authors. They think of themselves that they are writers, they seem so at parties, they are aware of it deep down inside, they literary heart. The only thing they are missing - which is actually their bloody works.
But in fact, it does it matter? Written - everything that is important to determine who is a writer and who is not?
For the sake of the Lord's love, yes.
This general method of protection against all, as I mentioned above, and for a long time, and from any voice of criticism in your life. This is the thing that tells us our ego to protect us from the hard work is over, "I know that inside I am a good person." It may also be formulated as, "I know who I am" and "I just have to be yourself».
Do not misunderstand me; you're inside - everything. The guy who built a house for his family from the ground and from the materials at hand, did it because he is inside. Every bad thing you did, began with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheted inside your skull as long as you are not forced to do it. And every good deed done by the same principle. "Who you are inside" - a metaphorical manure on which to grow your fruit.
And that's what everyone should know. And the fact that many of you can not accept:
"You - the fruit and nothing else».
Nobody cares about your manure. "Who are you inside" has no meaning apart from the fact that you produce for other people.
Inside you have a great compassion for the poor. Excellent. The result of this compassion become any action on this? Did you hear about some terrible tragedy and say at the same time, "Oh, poor kids. Tell them what I think of them? " Go fuck, if this is so - find out what they need, and help. One hundred million people watched the video Kony, virtually everything they thought about those poor African children. But what made this society of these thoughts? Children are dying every day due to the fact that millions of us tell themselves that experience - it's as good as done. This is an internal mechanism that controlled the lazy part of our brain which protects us from the real action.
How many of you are walking in circles and repeats, "She / he will certainly love to me, if only she knew / know what I am interesting person!" Really? And all these your interesting thoughts and ideas could pass yourself to the world? Or should they lead to action? If a girl or boy of your dreams to you filmed with a hidden camera for a month, they were impressed by what they saw then? Remember, they do not read minds, they can only see. They would want to be a part of your life?
All I ask of you is to apply to themselves the same standards that you apply to others. You probably have an annoying friend Christian, all the aid is reduced to "I will pray for them." It's not driving you crazy? I do not comment now, work prayers or not, but it does not change the fact that this person chose the kind of assistance that does not require him to tear your ass off the couch. Such people abstain from all evil, their thoughts are pure, their inner manure clean as much as possible, but what fruit will grow on it? And they need to understand it better than anyone else - I stole fruit metaphor in the Bible. Jesus repeated something like "a tree is judged by its fruits," again and again, and again. Jesus never said, "If you want to work here, follow the plan." No, he said, "Every tree that does not give good fruit is cut down and be thrown into the fire" (Matthew).
People react badly when they say things like that. As managers of the film is not good reacted to the words of Alec Baldwin that they should finally grow eggs or change jobs in the shoe shiners. Which brings us to the final point ...
6. All within you will be fighting with the development
