344
Taboo, fear of fear, and shame of shame
"The family of the hanged man the rope did not say," — told us on 2 stages of training our coach Hope Romanova when we were, as therapists, to discuss taboo topics, "And on soap and stools".
One of the obstacles plaguing an already difficult situation is the difficulty to discuss such topics as sex, death and money.
Itself a civilized discussion on these topics already solves many problems in their decision because of the inability to talk about it, to ask questions and get feedback, people who have difficulties in the taboo zone:
1. Has blind spots (that is, poorly informed).
2. Himself afraid of the unknown and terrible fantasies, blocking their actions and thinking, and therefore not effective (fear of fear).
3. Has difficulty in communicating with those loved ones, whom this topic is directly related to (misunderstandings, misunderstandings, conflicts due to the lack of clarity and confidence).
4. Highly charged action moving on its theme and in this regard may act precipitately, while a simple discussion, in principle, reduces the charge on the action, and it may be that and do not need anything, or need a lot less than it seemed.
Discussion of taboo topics — is a delicate question, especially because the taboo is not just the archaic ban, it has quite a profound meaning:
1. Sacredness. All these three themes relate to issues of creative energy that is inherently unknowable and the divine. Yes, and money too, as money is only the materialization of a creative resource.
2. Intimacy: this is the theme best associated with the trust issues.
3. Energy: these issues (death, sexuality, and resources) cause the greatest involvement of a man on a biological level, are connected with the instincts, archaic feelings that are difficult to manage because it is a force of nature.
What does a person who cares about one of these topics? He feels her in trouble and needs their permission.
If it is not surrounded by a close person whose ethics and competence in these matters he trusts — he is interested in these questions from "kids in the stairwell", that is on the Internet.
It seems that in our time of "freedom of speech" on the Internet you can find answers to all the questions and all taboos have been destroyed long ago.
However, the Internet is not sufficient to solve these problems for the following reasons:
1. General information you can find, does not take into account your unique, individual situation. And the nuances in these special issues are of great importance.
So, for example, having read about what causes sexual cool couple, you can find yourself and your partner all the things described in the medical encyclopedia, except for puerperal fever, the difficulty may be in another area.
2. No more reading texts won't help you to deal with their feelings on this subject, as this information is for your mind and your feelings again, do not take into account. There is no answer about what, for example, to do with their fear and shame before family, if you are caught in the wiring of scams and lost money.
3. There is no human alive, present, bodily participation, empathy, which helps to cope and to bear unbearable, at first glance, feelings about the possible loss of loved ones, for example, or about his physical or mental health. It is an opportunity to be in these feelings with another living person who is able to understand you, relate to you and your experiences with respect, and like yourself have experienced and managed, gives the opportunity to experience difficult feelings and did not collapse.
Fear and shame are themselves blockers actions and development, in spite of their natural usefulness — both these experiences are responsible for the integrity and security of the person.
But if you are not able to be with fear and shame taken by another person, if it is not possible to discuss ashamed and afraid, then fear is the fear and shame of shame bind you tightly, blocking the flow of all the other vital emotional-bodily processes, and as a result, your simple daily activities.
Public discussion of these topics in social networks or friendly companies often do not give relief just because there is not that degree of confidence, which would help to stay as themselves. For the most part, these discussions are rather in the nature of protection from these experiences his deliberate openness and bravado. Anonymous discussion also fail, because other people's reactions is not addressed to you, living and real, and some virtual character. However, non-anonymous too.
What I do bow to you, dear readers. If you feel that it has fallen into this trap — please contact your physician or psychological group, as a good therapist, like no other, competent in the discussion of taboo topics. We have this specially taught: do not be surprised, which surprised ordinary people, while maintaining confidentiality and revealing together with you your individual characteristics, and how to take off do difficult questions.
Author: Nina Rubstein
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: rubstein.livejournal.com/1153923.html
One of the obstacles plaguing an already difficult situation is the difficulty to discuss such topics as sex, death and money.
Itself a civilized discussion on these topics already solves many problems in their decision because of the inability to talk about it, to ask questions and get feedback, people who have difficulties in the taboo zone:
1. Has blind spots (that is, poorly informed).
2. Himself afraid of the unknown and terrible fantasies, blocking their actions and thinking, and therefore not effective (fear of fear).
3. Has difficulty in communicating with those loved ones, whom this topic is directly related to (misunderstandings, misunderstandings, conflicts due to the lack of clarity and confidence).
4. Highly charged action moving on its theme and in this regard may act precipitately, while a simple discussion, in principle, reduces the charge on the action, and it may be that and do not need anything, or need a lot less than it seemed.
Discussion of taboo topics — is a delicate question, especially because the taboo is not just the archaic ban, it has quite a profound meaning:
1. Sacredness. All these three themes relate to issues of creative energy that is inherently unknowable and the divine. Yes, and money too, as money is only the materialization of a creative resource.
2. Intimacy: this is the theme best associated with the trust issues.
3. Energy: these issues (death, sexuality, and resources) cause the greatest involvement of a man on a biological level, are connected with the instincts, archaic feelings that are difficult to manage because it is a force of nature.
What does a person who cares about one of these topics? He feels her in trouble and needs their permission.
If it is not surrounded by a close person whose ethics and competence in these matters he trusts — he is interested in these questions from "kids in the stairwell", that is on the Internet.
It seems that in our time of "freedom of speech" on the Internet you can find answers to all the questions and all taboos have been destroyed long ago.
However, the Internet is not sufficient to solve these problems for the following reasons:
1. General information you can find, does not take into account your unique, individual situation. And the nuances in these special issues are of great importance.
So, for example, having read about what causes sexual cool couple, you can find yourself and your partner all the things described in the medical encyclopedia, except for puerperal fever, the difficulty may be in another area.
2. No more reading texts won't help you to deal with their feelings on this subject, as this information is for your mind and your feelings again, do not take into account. There is no answer about what, for example, to do with their fear and shame before family, if you are caught in the wiring of scams and lost money.
3. There is no human alive, present, bodily participation, empathy, which helps to cope and to bear unbearable, at first glance, feelings about the possible loss of loved ones, for example, or about his physical or mental health. It is an opportunity to be in these feelings with another living person who is able to understand you, relate to you and your experiences with respect, and like yourself have experienced and managed, gives the opportunity to experience difficult feelings and did not collapse.
Fear and shame are themselves blockers actions and development, in spite of their natural usefulness — both these experiences are responsible for the integrity and security of the person.
But if you are not able to be with fear and shame taken by another person, if it is not possible to discuss ashamed and afraid, then fear is the fear and shame of shame bind you tightly, blocking the flow of all the other vital emotional-bodily processes, and as a result, your simple daily activities.
Public discussion of these topics in social networks or friendly companies often do not give relief just because there is not that degree of confidence, which would help to stay as themselves. For the most part, these discussions are rather in the nature of protection from these experiences his deliberate openness and bravado. Anonymous discussion also fail, because other people's reactions is not addressed to you, living and real, and some virtual character. However, non-anonymous too.
What I do bow to you, dear readers. If you feel that it has fallen into this trap — please contact your physician or psychological group, as a good therapist, like no other, competent in the discussion of taboo topics. We have this specially taught: do not be surprised, which surprised ordinary people, while maintaining confidentiality and revealing together with you your individual characteristics, and how to take off do difficult questions.
Author: Nina Rubstein
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: rubstein.livejournal.com/1153923.html
