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8 basic human psychological crises
Crisis number 1
The first important step in a series of crisis periods - from 3 to 7 years. It is also called the period of "strengthen the roots." At this time, it formed a global approach to the world whether it is safe or hostile. And this attitude stems from the fact that the baby feels in the family, we love it and accept or due to various reasons, it has to "survive».
As you know, we have in mind is not physical survival (although families are different, including those where the child has to struggle to survive in the literal sense), but psychological: if he as a little man feels safe among the closest people spared all kinds of stress.
This is a very important period, because of the feeling that the world around friendly, independent and self-esteem, the relation of man to himself. It normally develops curiosity and desire to be better and much more.
Such a child grows up with a sense of the importance of their own efforts: "I'm going to try, and the world around me to support." Such children get optimistic, not fearful of autonomy and decision-making. Distrust is the adult world (and thus to the world in general) forms a human ever doubting, passive, apathetic. These people grow up, they are not able to accept not only ourselves, with all the advantages and disadvantages, they just do not know the feeling of trust in the other person.
Crisis number 2
The next crisis is most acute is manifested in the period from 10 to 16 years. This is the transition from childhood to adulthood, when its own forces are evaluated through the prism of the merits of others, there is a constant comparison: "I better or worse, whether from differing, if - yes, exactly what and how it is for me - good or bad?" . And most importantly: "How do I look in the eyes of other people, they are me appreciate what it means to be an individual?" The challenge in this period before the person - to determine the extent of their independence, their psychological status, the boundaries of the self among others <. br>
Here comes the realization that there is a huge adult world with its own rules and regulations that need to be taken. It is therefore important experience acquired outside the house, so all the instruction parents become unnecessary and are a nuisance: the main experience there, in the adult world, among peers. And to fill the cones only wants to without caring mother's hands.
A positive resolution of this crisis leads to a further strengthening of self-esteem, okrepnuvshey self confidence that "I can do everything myself." If the crisis is not resolved properly, replace, depending on the parents comes from the relationship stronger and more confident peers from any, even imposed "norms" of the medium, on the circumstances, finally. "Why try to achieve something - that I still did not work! I'm the worst!. »
Self-doubt, envy of others' successes, dependence on opinion, on the evaluation of others - these are the qualities that a person who has not passed the second crisis bears throughout his later life
. Crisis number 3
The third crisis period (from 18 to 22 years) is associated with the search for their own place in this complex world. It comes the understanding that black - white ink of the previous period is not suitable to understand the whole palette of the outside world, which is much more complicated and not unambiguous, what seemed so far
. At this stage may appear again dissatisfaction with themselves, the fear that "I do not meet, I can not ...". And we are talking about finding your own way in this difficult world, self-identification, as psychologists say.
If it is not the passage of this crisis, there is a danger of falling into the trap of self-deception: instead of their own way, to search for the object to follow or "broad back", for which you can hide the rest of your life, or, on the contrary start to deny all kinds of authorities, but it does not offer anything of his own, limited only to protest, without constructive solutions and ways.
It is formed by "habit" in this period to raise their own importance by humiliation, belittling the significance of the other, that we so often encounter in life. On the successful passage of the crisis demonstrates the ability to safely and responsibly take yourself the way you are, with all the advantages and disadvantages, knowing own personality is more important.
Crisis number 4
The next crisis (22 - 27 years), provided that it is a safe passage, brings us the ability, without fear that - to change something in your life, depending on how we change ourselves. For this purpose it is necessary to overcome the kind of "absolutism", forcing us to believe that all that is done in my life at this point - it is forever and nothing new will not be
. Global standard rate at which we moved so far, why - it ceases to satisfy. It appears strange feeling of anxiety, dissatisfaction with the fact that there is a vague sense of what might be - another that missed some - the opportunity to change and nothing can
. Upon successful completion of this phase of the crisis disappears fear of change, one realizes that there is no standard rate may not qualify for the "absolute", global, once and for all this, that it can and should be changed, depending on how the you yourself, do not be afraid to experiment, to start that - something new. Only with this approach can be successfully pass the next crisis, which is called "adjusted life plans", "revaluation of plants».
Crisis number 5
There comes this crisis where - then aged 32 - 37 years old, when he gained experience in relationships with others, in a career in the family, when it got a lot of serious life of
. These results are beginning to be measured not in terms of achievements, as such, but in terms of personal satisfaction. "Why do I need it? Is it worth it for such efforts? ". Many awareness of their mistakes seems to be very painful, what - what you need to avoid clinging to past experience, for illusory ideals
. Instead of quietly adjust plans, a person says to himself: "I will not change my ideals, I will stick to just the selected course for all, I have to prove that I was right, no matter what!". If you have the courage to admit mistakes and correct their lives, their plans, the way out of this crisis - a new influx of fresh forces, opening prospects and opportunities. If we start from the beginning turned out to be impossible, this period will be for you more destructive than constructive.
Crisis number 6
One of the most difficult stages - 37-45 years. The first time we are keenly aware that life is not infinite, that all the harder to drag on itself "extra weight", it is necessary to concentrate on the essentials.
Career, family, communication - all this to not only survive, but also has acquired many unnecessary, annoying conventions and obligations that have to be respected, because "as necessary". At this stage, there is a struggle between the desire to grow, develop, and the state of "swamp" of stagnation. We have to make a decision that drag on itself and on, and what can be reset to get rid of that.
For example, part of the trouble by learning to manage time and effort; of responsibilities to a close, dividing out into primary, indeed necessary, and secondary, the ones that we do out of habit; of unnecessary social contacts, dividing them into desirable and burdensome.
Crisis number 7
After 45 years, it begins the second period of his youth, not only in women who become "berry again", but also for men. According to one of the western psychologists, we finally stop to measure the age and the number of past years are beginning to think in terms of time, which has yet to live.
Here's how A.Libina psychologist describes this period of crisis:
"Men and women of this age can be compared with adolescents. In - First, their body goes through turbulent changes caused by the regularities of physiological processes. Due to hormonal changes in menopause, they, like teenagers, become quick-tempered, touchy, easily irritated by trifles. In - the second, they again exacerbated sense of self, and they are once again willing to fight for his self, even the slightest threat of independence. Fighting in the family - with children who have already left or are about to leave the parental nest, at work - feeling very uncomfortable and unstable as pensioners who are "on the heels" younger
. Men aged 45 years face a long-forgotten issues of youth: "Who am I?" And "Where am I going?". This is true also in regard to women, although they have passed the crisis much more difficult.
Many studies show that the most vulnerable during this crisis are women who consider themselves exclusively housewives. They are the despair of the idea of "empty nest", which, in their opinion, it is a house, abandoned by grown children. Then they instigate house rearrangement of furniture and buy new curtains.
Many see this crisis as a loss of meaning in life, others on the contrary, see in this inevitable turn of events, an opportunity for further growth. Much of this depends on how the previous age crises have passed.
During this period can discover hidden resources and talents are not identified until now. Their implementation is made possible thanks to the discovery of new-age benefits - the possibility to think not only about his own family, but also about new directions in the work, and even the beginning of a new
career. " Crisis number 8
age "meaningful maturity" begins after fifty years. We begin to act according to its own priorities and interests more than it has ever been. However, personal freedom does not always seem a gift of fate, many are beginning to feel the sharpness of his own loneliness, the lack of important tasks and interests. Hence - the bitterness and disappointment in his past life, its uselessness, and emptiness. But worst of all - loneliness. This is the case of negative development of the crisis - the fact that the previous have been passed "with errors»
. In positive case scenario - a person begins to see for themselves a new perspective, not devaluing the former services, seeking new areas of application for your life experience, wisdom, love, creative forces. Then the concept of old age becomes a biological sense, not limiting vital interests can not be held passivity and stagnation.
Numerous studies show that the concept of "old age" and "passivity" completely independent from one another, it's just a common stereotype! In the age group over 60 is clearly apparent distinction between "young" and "old" people. It all depends on how a person perceives his own condition: as a brake or as an incentive for the further development of his personality, for an interesting life full
. All these times of crisis, which is full of our life smoothly into one another, like a ladder, "a lifetime", where you can not get to the next step, is not constant on the previous one and where, stumbled on one step, not shagnesh smoothly and correctly, even putting a foot on the next one. And especially, do not get to jump over several steps: still when - ever have to go back and finish "work on the bugs."
The first important step in a series of crisis periods - from 3 to 7 years. It is also called the period of "strengthen the roots." At this time, it formed a global approach to the world whether it is safe or hostile. And this attitude stems from the fact that the baby feels in the family, we love it and accept or due to various reasons, it has to "survive».
As you know, we have in mind is not physical survival (although families are different, including those where the child has to struggle to survive in the literal sense), but psychological: if he as a little man feels safe among the closest people spared all kinds of stress.
This is a very important period, because of the feeling that the world around friendly, independent and self-esteem, the relation of man to himself. It normally develops curiosity and desire to be better and much more.
Such a child grows up with a sense of the importance of their own efforts: "I'm going to try, and the world around me to support." Such children get optimistic, not fearful of autonomy and decision-making. Distrust is the adult world (and thus to the world in general) forms a human ever doubting, passive, apathetic. These people grow up, they are not able to accept not only ourselves, with all the advantages and disadvantages, they just do not know the feeling of trust in the other person.
Crisis number 2
The next crisis is most acute is manifested in the period from 10 to 16 years. This is the transition from childhood to adulthood, when its own forces are evaluated through the prism of the merits of others, there is a constant comparison: "I better or worse, whether from differing, if - yes, exactly what and how it is for me - good or bad?" . And most importantly: "How do I look in the eyes of other people, they are me appreciate what it means to be an individual?" The challenge in this period before the person - to determine the extent of their independence, their psychological status, the boundaries of the self among others <. br>
Here comes the realization that there is a huge adult world with its own rules and regulations that need to be taken. It is therefore important experience acquired outside the house, so all the instruction parents become unnecessary and are a nuisance: the main experience there, in the adult world, among peers. And to fill the cones only wants to without caring mother's hands.
A positive resolution of this crisis leads to a further strengthening of self-esteem, okrepnuvshey self confidence that "I can do everything myself." If the crisis is not resolved properly, replace, depending on the parents comes from the relationship stronger and more confident peers from any, even imposed "norms" of the medium, on the circumstances, finally. "Why try to achieve something - that I still did not work! I'm the worst!. »
Self-doubt, envy of others' successes, dependence on opinion, on the evaluation of others - these are the qualities that a person who has not passed the second crisis bears throughout his later life
. Crisis number 3
The third crisis period (from 18 to 22 years) is associated with the search for their own place in this complex world. It comes the understanding that black - white ink of the previous period is not suitable to understand the whole palette of the outside world, which is much more complicated and not unambiguous, what seemed so far
. At this stage may appear again dissatisfaction with themselves, the fear that "I do not meet, I can not ...". And we are talking about finding your own way in this difficult world, self-identification, as psychologists say.
If it is not the passage of this crisis, there is a danger of falling into the trap of self-deception: instead of their own way, to search for the object to follow or "broad back", for which you can hide the rest of your life, or, on the contrary start to deny all kinds of authorities, but it does not offer anything of his own, limited only to protest, without constructive solutions and ways.
It is formed by "habit" in this period to raise their own importance by humiliation, belittling the significance of the other, that we so often encounter in life. On the successful passage of the crisis demonstrates the ability to safely and responsibly take yourself the way you are, with all the advantages and disadvantages, knowing own personality is more important.
Crisis number 4
The next crisis (22 - 27 years), provided that it is a safe passage, brings us the ability, without fear that - to change something in your life, depending on how we change ourselves. For this purpose it is necessary to overcome the kind of "absolutism", forcing us to believe that all that is done in my life at this point - it is forever and nothing new will not be
. Global standard rate at which we moved so far, why - it ceases to satisfy. It appears strange feeling of anxiety, dissatisfaction with the fact that there is a vague sense of what might be - another that missed some - the opportunity to change and nothing can
. Upon successful completion of this phase of the crisis disappears fear of change, one realizes that there is no standard rate may not qualify for the "absolute", global, once and for all this, that it can and should be changed, depending on how the you yourself, do not be afraid to experiment, to start that - something new. Only with this approach can be successfully pass the next crisis, which is called "adjusted life plans", "revaluation of plants».
Crisis number 5
There comes this crisis where - then aged 32 - 37 years old, when he gained experience in relationships with others, in a career in the family, when it got a lot of serious life of
. These results are beginning to be measured not in terms of achievements, as such, but in terms of personal satisfaction. "Why do I need it? Is it worth it for such efforts? ". Many awareness of their mistakes seems to be very painful, what - what you need to avoid clinging to past experience, for illusory ideals
. Instead of quietly adjust plans, a person says to himself: "I will not change my ideals, I will stick to just the selected course for all, I have to prove that I was right, no matter what!". If you have the courage to admit mistakes and correct their lives, their plans, the way out of this crisis - a new influx of fresh forces, opening prospects and opportunities. If we start from the beginning turned out to be impossible, this period will be for you more destructive than constructive.
Crisis number 6
One of the most difficult stages - 37-45 years. The first time we are keenly aware that life is not infinite, that all the harder to drag on itself "extra weight", it is necessary to concentrate on the essentials.
Career, family, communication - all this to not only survive, but also has acquired many unnecessary, annoying conventions and obligations that have to be respected, because "as necessary". At this stage, there is a struggle between the desire to grow, develop, and the state of "swamp" of stagnation. We have to make a decision that drag on itself and on, and what can be reset to get rid of that.
For example, part of the trouble by learning to manage time and effort; of responsibilities to a close, dividing out into primary, indeed necessary, and secondary, the ones that we do out of habit; of unnecessary social contacts, dividing them into desirable and burdensome.
Crisis number 7
After 45 years, it begins the second period of his youth, not only in women who become "berry again", but also for men. According to one of the western psychologists, we finally stop to measure the age and the number of past years are beginning to think in terms of time, which has yet to live.
Here's how A.Libina psychologist describes this period of crisis:
"Men and women of this age can be compared with adolescents. In - First, their body goes through turbulent changes caused by the regularities of physiological processes. Due to hormonal changes in menopause, they, like teenagers, become quick-tempered, touchy, easily irritated by trifles. In - the second, they again exacerbated sense of self, and they are once again willing to fight for his self, even the slightest threat of independence. Fighting in the family - with children who have already left or are about to leave the parental nest, at work - feeling very uncomfortable and unstable as pensioners who are "on the heels" younger
. Men aged 45 years face a long-forgotten issues of youth: "Who am I?" And "Where am I going?". This is true also in regard to women, although they have passed the crisis much more difficult.
Many studies show that the most vulnerable during this crisis are women who consider themselves exclusively housewives. They are the despair of the idea of "empty nest", which, in their opinion, it is a house, abandoned by grown children. Then they instigate house rearrangement of furniture and buy new curtains.
Many see this crisis as a loss of meaning in life, others on the contrary, see in this inevitable turn of events, an opportunity for further growth. Much of this depends on how the previous age crises have passed.
During this period can discover hidden resources and talents are not identified until now. Their implementation is made possible thanks to the discovery of new-age benefits - the possibility to think not only about his own family, but also about new directions in the work, and even the beginning of a new
career. " Crisis number 8
age "meaningful maturity" begins after fifty years. We begin to act according to its own priorities and interests more than it has ever been. However, personal freedom does not always seem a gift of fate, many are beginning to feel the sharpness of his own loneliness, the lack of important tasks and interests. Hence - the bitterness and disappointment in his past life, its uselessness, and emptiness. But worst of all - loneliness. This is the case of negative development of the crisis - the fact that the previous have been passed "with errors»
. In positive case scenario - a person begins to see for themselves a new perspective, not devaluing the former services, seeking new areas of application for your life experience, wisdom, love, creative forces. Then the concept of old age becomes a biological sense, not limiting vital interests can not be held passivity and stagnation.
Numerous studies show that the concept of "old age" and "passivity" completely independent from one another, it's just a common stereotype! In the age group over 60 is clearly apparent distinction between "young" and "old" people. It all depends on how a person perceives his own condition: as a brake or as an incentive for the further development of his personality, for an interesting life full
. All these times of crisis, which is full of our life smoothly into one another, like a ladder, "a lifetime", where you can not get to the next step, is not constant on the previous one and where, stumbled on one step, not shagnesh smoothly and correctly, even putting a foot on the next one. And especially, do not get to jump over several steps: still when - ever have to go back and finish "work on the bugs."