3 main emotions that we "ate"

Anxiety, shame and guilt – the three emotions that trigger overeating and overeating. Psychotherapist Svetlana Bronnikova in the book "Intuitive nutrition" offers simple, effective ways to solve the problem.

It is important to remember: there is no good and bad emotions, forbidden and permitted, they are all just information. Important in the process of mastering your emotions is to accept them as a given. Don't try to pretend that unpleasant to you or someone else emotions do not exist, to realize that you people are alive and can experience anger, sadness, shame, fear. The second step is taking, to separate the emotions from yourself. They make us alive, but doesn't define what we are.

First is an extremely useful skillto cope with any negative emotion: name it, silently or out loud. By naming in the brain and the body undergoes amazing processes: excitation is significantly reduced, falling levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

The overeating often arise not just on the background of negative emotions, and coupled with the feeling that these experiences are unbearable, our unconscious fantasy that we will not survive and will razrulitsya under the pressure of these experiences, die, and so we need to do anything to dull the intensity of the experience (e.g., to overeat, to loss themselves).

Exercise "Surfing"

Shows how to adjust the power of the emotion without using food.

Sit comfortably, close your eyes and try to relax. Focus on the experience that are now experiencing. As it is experienced in your body? Do not try to suppress or change the emotion – just watch. After some time you will notice that in the experience there are peaks when a feeling reaches its "unhealthy" high, and downs, when it becomes softer, its intensity decreases. Watch alternation of peaks and valleys, seemed to be "gliding on the wave", as do the surfers in the sea. Soon you will find that the peaks last for very long, and in other moments you cope with the experiences that they are unpleasant, but portable.

Attack overeating always happens at the peak of emotional experience, because it seems that the maximum unpleasant pain will last forever, will never end. Now you know what it is not.

Anxiety





One of the main emotions that we seize. Anxiety is the product of living in constant competition and high requirements to the best. People with eating disorders often experience excessive, uncontrollable anxiety. It is the feeling of anxiety often causes disruption of food. She is stopping to listen to yourself, choose what you want, makes the contact with yourself.

To stop seizing the alarm, you need to start to stop to prevent myself from seizing... anxiety or to punish themselves for it. It is important that you noted in the diary, in the head, in front of the mirror – "I eat because I'm nervous, worried. Food helps me cope with anxiety and relax. Let it a hundred thousand times wrong, I won't scold myself for it. It is the only effective way that I know of. Now it is important to relieve anxiety and think about what to do next."

Today – sad. Yet not to sleep. Now nervously. Strangely enough, allowing myself to worry, ceasing to inhibit the alarm, we find that less worried. Focus on the anxiety instead of trying to suppress it: what happens to the body when I'm anxious? What parts of the body "settled" alarm? How would you describe your anxiety right now – what color it is (yellow? greenish?), some textures (hairy, smooth?). Maybe what's her taste?

Allow yourself to eat anxiety, ask yourself the anxiety attack that occurs to me right now, is he talking about? What he's trying to tell me? Why is it needed? It is difficult to understand, sometimes it helps here's a trick: imagine you're a deer or other wild animal in the forest. And all who surround you, and all that surrounds you, lives in this forest. What does a anxiety attack, as it helps you to survive, what it protects you, saves you, guards?

Wine





Another champion in a world where chocolate is the cure for feelings. Wine may not be so evident on the physical level as anxiety or anger — you do not break hands, not red, but you all the time as if something gnaws inside. Wine grows out of the secret places of our soul, where we are perfect or at least close to perfection from a Perfect Ya Wine helps us to monitor our behavior and learn to treat others as we would like them to treat us.

The problem is that people are prone to overeating, you usually tend to "get stuck" in the experience of guilt, feel guilt for any reason and too often. Scattered colleague greeted me in the morning? The chief still said nothing about the report? Friend called? Friend was not invited to the birthday party? The teacher's son once dry talked? The reasons for guilt can be set, a cocktail of guilt and anxiety creates a Foundation for continuous vibration – did not, did not, not so...

Over time, "guilty thoughts" become an automatic process – you don't even have to strain to believe or imagine that all that is happening around you is to blame. Remember – no one can make you feel guilty – it is your personal choice, although people will seek to impose this sense is one of the oldest, surest ways to control human behavior.

The more your perfectionism, and the higher nedostigenii your ideal, the stronger will be your sense of guilt and the more you will experience. How to distinguish between healthy guilt from unhealthy? Having experienced the guilt, you turn around back, review what happened and trying to figure out whether or not you are guilty of something. If it turns out that Yes, you – no, don't commit seppuku on the main street of the city – you bring excuses, try to correct their own mistakes, but most importantly, you understand how not to do next time. Once you have done all that is possible to correct the mistake and learned your lesson, it's time to forgive yourself and release guilt. That's all.

Unhealthy sense of guilt appears at any time, regardless of whether you did something wrong or not. For example, when you allowed yourself to care about themselves and not about others, to say "no" in response to a request or requirement of another, allowed himself not to go sick to work. However, to take care of their own needs is absolutely normal and correct. Healthy wine — an occasion to ask ourselves: "What have I done wrong? How to fix it?" Unhealthy guilt makes you suffer is all that she does. The purpose of the unhealthy guilt does not leave you in peace, as a result, you do not learn anything, you just suffer. And overeat to protect myself from suffering.

Exercise Counter guilty thoughts"

The best remedy against unhealthy guilt – awareness. It allows you to consider and find out how adequately a particular experience and how it is generated by past traumas, early painful experience of loss and resentment.

Imagine that you constantly wear counter fault, meticulously registered every time you experience this feeling How many times have you felt a sense of guilt today? Try to remember and analyze each case. Rate how adequately and deservedly every time you had experienced a sense of guilt. Describe briefly each case. Have you noticed anything new? Wine can form a habit like any other emotion. Do not fall for the usual guilt and reflective every time she appears in your soul.

Shame





Shame and guilt are often confused, yet these emotions are not even close relatives. There is a good definition that guilt is a feeling that I made a mistake, while shame is the feeling that I was a mistake. Bodily shame is a specific shame, not for how bad, unworthy person I am, but because of how my body looks. Motivation many dieters and bodily shame, the unbearable feeling of being in the body, causing other people ridicule or hostility. Until they reach the ideal, I have no right to be. Shame is often "inherited". Their comments parents are infected with the shame and not able to admit it, infect the shame of their child as slow poison.

Exercise "Spotlight"

Write down episodes of childhood, when you were accused of something and accused you felt a burning rush of shame how would you need to bring them under a powerful spotlight and how to consider. Maybe you called him a slut, saying that you have fat cheeks, predicted the fate of a janitor for the school failures, suspected in a lie?

Now try to understand whose the shame you are experiencing in each of these episodes – their own or a parent? How really embarrassing to fall and break tights at the age of 5, running in the yard? Or the problem was in the parent shame and fear – what will the neighbours say, the child goes in torn, where to watch mother? How true it was to call you fat, if looking at their childhood photos, you see an ordinary child – is possible, devoid of aristocratic fragility, but usually folded? Are parents expected from you that you 8 years of age will be doing lessons on their own – without a single error? Or the fact that your school setbacks cast a shadow on their method of education – did not finish, failed? In short, who was ashamed of these moments – to you or your family?

Emphasize one color episodes, where is your shame was deserved (children lie or theft) and those where it was imposed from the outside. In the end, you may find that living in a family with very vulnerable people who are terribly afraid of their own shame and passed it to you, at arm's length, like a hot pan. Now is the time to get rid of unnecessary, imposed toxic shame, including bodily.

Comfort

Consolation – something we desperately need, and something we almost never enough. Embarrassed to ask, because we believe that adults don't need comforting. Food often replaces us comfort, not bringing, however, the main thing – peace of mind.

Sit as comfortably as possible. Select a soft chair or sit on the soft cushions to provide maximum comfort. Now grasp his hands gently, carefully – embrace yourself. Focus on the sensations from that embrace. If they are positive, then try to strengthen them, hugging himself tighter, polaykov yourself in your own arms or patting on the head. Stay in this state as long as you're comfortable with. Try to say something comforting, gentle. This may seem strange, silly or even annoying. Nothing to worry about. Keep doing this until, until you feel comfort and relaxation.published

 

Author: Svetlana Bronnikova

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: smart-cookie.ru/weight-loss/3-glavnyx-emocii-kotorye-my-zaedaem/