3 main emotions that we "seize" Bashny.Net

Important in the process of mastering their own emotions - to take them for granted. Do not try to pretend that unpleasant to you or to someone else emotion there, realize that you are a person alive and may feel anger, sadness, shame, , fear. The second step - to accept, to separate emotion from himself. They make us alive, but do not define what we are.

The first is extremely useful skill to cope with any negative emotion: call it, silently or aloud. When naming in our brain and body processes occur amazing: agitation greatly reduced level falls the stress hormone cortisol.

Bouts of overeating often arise not just against the background of negative emotions, and along with the feeling that these experiences unbearable, our unconscious fantasy that we do not break down and destroy the onslaught of these experiences, die, and so you need to do anything to dull the intensity experience (eg, overeat before losing himself).



Exercise "Surfing»

It shows how you can adjust the strength of the emotions without the aid of food. Sit comfortably, cover your eyes and try to relax. Focus on the experience, which is now experiencing. As it is experienced in your body? Do not try to suppress or change the emotion - just watch. After a while you will notice that there are peaks in the experience that feeling reaches its "painful" high and downs when it becomes softer, its intensity snizhet.

Observe the change of peaks and valleys, as if "glides over the waves," as do the surfers in the sea. Soon, you will find that the peaks last very long, and in other moments you are perfectly able to cope with feelings, they are unpleasant, but tolerable

1. Anxiety h3> One of the main emotions that we seized. Anxiety - a product of living in a constant competition and high demand to get the best. People with eating disorders often have immoderate, uncontrollable anxiety. This anxiety often causes disruption of food. It prevents listen to yourself, to choose what you want, hit by contact with yourself.

To stop the alarm jam, you need to start banning stop myself ... seizing an alarm or to punish myself for it. It is important that you mentioned - Entries in the head, in front of a mirror - "I eat because I'm nervous, anxious. Food helps me cope with anxiety and relax. Let it a hundred thousand times wrong, I will not blame myself for it. It is the only effective way I know. Now to me it is important to relieve anxiety and to think about what to do next. " Today - sadly. So far - not to fall asleep. Now - nervously. Ironically, by allowing yourself to worry incessantly suppress anxiety, we find that worry less. Focus on the alarm state rather than trying to suppress it, what happens to the body when I worry? In some parts of the body, "settles" anxiety?

By allowing themselves to seize the alarm, ask yourself - panic attack, which is happening to me right now - it is about what? What he's trying to tell me? Why does he need?

2. Wines h3> People prone to overeating, usually tend to "get stuck" on the experience of guilt, feeling guilty about everything, and too often. Colleague absently greeted in the morning? Head still did not say anything about the report? My friend did not call? Familiar is not invited to the birthday party? The teacher's son once dryly talking? Reasons guilt can be set, a cocktail of guilt and anxiety creates the basis for permanent vibration - did wrong, not what did not, not so ...

The more your perfectionism, the higher your ideal and unattainable, the greater will be your guilt, and the more you feel it. How to distinguish healthy from unhealthy guilt? Experience a sense of guilt, you look back, analyze what happened and try to understand whether you are guilty of something. If it turns out that yes, you - no, do not commit hara-kiri on the main street of the city - you will apologize, try to correct their own mistakes, but the main thing - you know how not to do next time. Once you have done all that is possible to correct the mistake and learned a lesson, it is time to forgive comes - and let himself - blame. That's all.

An unhealthy guilt appears at any time, regardless of whether you have done something wrong or not. For example, when you allowed yourself to take care of yourself, not for others to say "no" in response a request or requirement of the other, allowed himself not to go to work sick. However, take care of their own needs - is perfectly normal and correct. Healthy wine - an occasion to ask ourselves the question: "What did I do wrong? How to fix it? "Unhealthy guilt causes you to suffer - that's all it does. The purpose of unhealthy guilt - not to leave you alone, as a result you do not learn anything, you just suffer. And consume in order to protect themselves from suffering.

Exercise "Counter guilty thoughts»

The best remedy against unhealthy guilt - awareness. It allows you to review and find out how adequate or that experience and how it is generated by past traumas, early painful experience of loss and resentment.

Imagine that you are constantly wear on myself guilt counter, meticulously recording every time you experience this feeling many times you have experienced the feeling of guilt for today? Try to remember and analyze each case. Evaluate how adequately and deserved every time you had experienced feelings of guilt. Briefly describe each case. Have you noticed anything new? Wines can form a habit, like any other emotion. Resist the usual wine and reflectors every time it appears in your soul.

3. Shame h3> Shame and guilt are often confused between these emotions are not even close relatives. There are good definition of that wine - that feeling that I made a mistake, and shame - a sense that I myself - a mistake. Bodily shame - shame not specific for how bad, unworthy person I am, and for the way my body looks. Motivation many slimming - bodily shame, a sense of unbearable stay in the body, causing other people's ridicule, or hostility. Not yet reached the ideal, I have no right to be.

Exercise "Spotlight»

Write down the episodes from childhood, when you are accused of something you have experienced, and accused the burning tide of shame - you like to bring them under a powerful spotlight and a good look. Maybe you called him a slob, saying that you have fat cheeks, predicted the fate of the school janitor setbacks, suspect in a lie? Now try to figure out whose shame you experience in each of these episodes - their own or a parent? How do shame to fall and break tights 5 years of age, running in the yard? Or the problem was in his parents' shame and fear - that tell the neighbors, the child goes to the ragged, which looks mother?

How rightly call you fat if considering his childhood photos, you see an ordinary child - perhaps lacking aristocratic fragility, but usually folded? Are parents seriously expect from you that you are in the 8-year-old will make the lessons of their own - and without a single mistake? Or the fact that your school setbacks cast a shadow on their method of education - not inspected, failed? In a word, who was ashamed of these moments - you or your loved ones?

Emphasize one color episodes where your shame was deserved (children lie or theft) and those where it has been imposed on you from the outside. As a result, you may find that living in a family with very vulnerable people who panic afraid of their own shame and handed it to you at arm's length like a hot pan. Now the time has come to get rid of excess imposed by toxic shame, including corporal.

Exercise "Consolation»

Sit as comfortably as possible. Choose a soft chair or arrange on soft pillows - so as to create maximum comfort. Now, hugged herself, gently, gently - embrace yourself. Focus on the sensations of that embrace. If they are positive, try to strengthen them, hugging herself tighter, pobayukav himself in his own arms or patting on the head. Stay in this state for as long as you will be comfortable. Try telling yourself something comforting, gentle. It may seem strange, stupid or annoying. Nothing wrong. Keep doing this as long as you do not feel the comfort and relaxation.

Site wishes you strength and peace of mind!

Author: Svetlana Bronnikova

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