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An exercise that will help to make a difficult decision
Just as we would have lived if we were in harmony with each other. So there is – very often we want at the same time different, or getting in some life situation, react to it in multiple ways simultaneously. "On the one hand, we say – I want this, very much want. But another part of me absolutely doesn't want it, afraid of what?" This here is our human ability to want at the same time different – is often the cause of some internal "disorder".
In already distant from us early 20th century Italian psychiatrist and psychologist Roberto Assagioli suggested the word that is now quite often seen in around psychological circles. "Personality" — part subordinate to us (but not always willing to obey), and as if responding to some kind of our desire, the need found its satisfaction in the implementation. The character inner world, the internal actor of the theater.
Assagioli proposed a number of methods of working with these "parts" or "sides", putting at the forefront a few principles:
In what situations and why this may be useful:
1."Domestic discord," when you want several contradictory things. For example – a roll and want to eat, because it is very tasty, and like a diet to keep desirable, because the shape and health."The work" will be the two desires and the feelings that they Express. After examining each of them in a "conversation" with the appropriate character's inner world, easily and consciously make decisions.
2. If you are staying in any life situation, are unable to be determined with respect to it. "On the one hand I like it, with another – causes resentment", say. These "two sides" are a good "entrance" to the work. After examining each of these parties can understand what has caused contradictions in relation to the situation and come to greater certainty.
3. If on the path to some goal you encounter internal resistance, as if something (or someone) inside you giving you a reaction. It might be the feeling (fear, say), or thought ("I can't do it"). Will work with that here is somebody who thinks, or who is causing you this feeling. Usually his reasoning is at least to listen – maybe it's "resistance" points to the previously unnoticed side of the situation, warns about something. Well, maybe is the usual prior methods of behavior, is not relevant now, and relevant "parts" you just need to explain that everything changed.
The overall goal of the work that I suggest you to do is to understand yourself.Good companions in this journey are usually calm and curious. Unfortunately, without these satellites, such work can be dangerous and only exacerbate internal conflicts.
What not to do:
1.Place. Select the place where you will not be disturbed, where you are comfortable and you can focus.
2.Time. Time should be enough. At each stage, take a 30-40 minutes, so not in a hurry.
3.Timer. We will measure the time. Will fit any mechanical, electronic, you can just use the phone.
4.A notebook (or paper) and something you prefer to write, pen, pencils.
5.I'll say it again – curiosity and peace researcher. Invite them with you.
So, get to work. Please read the instructions completely before starting.
Step one: an introduction
In this step, we actually need to allocate and call parts that are involved in a situation that you are working with and get to know them, making of them a sort of story.
Set a timer for 40 minutes, put in front of a notebook. Imagine a situation in question. I have described above three cases, suitable for start of work. The main idea is the same, but here are specific instructions for each of them, in them I'll use the same examples as above.
Internal disorder
Think first about the one your desire or aspiration. Can you imagine a character who is responsible for its implementation? "Internal someone" want a muffin? How would you call it? Dream boldly, and don't be afraid of possible mistakes. Humor is appreciated. Write his name on top on a separate sheet of Notepad.
Then think of a second wish."Internal who" strictly follows the diet? Write his name on top of another sheet.
Internal uncertainty
Uncertainty generally indicates the ability of both methods to treat the situation. Think first about the former. "Internal someone" would treat this situation this way? Say, who like what is happening inside of you? How would you call it? Dream boldly, and don't be afraid of possible mistakes. Humor is appreciated. Write his name on top on a separate sheet of Notepad.
Then think about the second method of relationship. Say, "someone inside" the situation causes resentment? Write his name on top of another sheet.
Internal resistance
Resistance of one kind or another is often accompanied by more or less clear feelings and/or thoughts. Try to start to identify, name and write it a feeling or a thought. In the example it is "fear" or "I can't do it". Further question may be three, choose the one that best fits:
(1) "Interior who" experiences it (who inside of you is afraid)?
(2) the "Internal someone" cause you have this feeling (inside scares you)?
(3) "Someone inside" you belong these words (who, like, tells you that you can not afford)?
Allocated so "characters" can be whoever and whatever. Internal boys and girls, internal criticism, animals, mythical characters, characters from literature and fairy tales – who just will not find here. Try not really to wonder why you came up with it is this – allow yourself the imagination. The result of this work, you should have one or two leaf with the "names"-names of your parts. Suddenly appear a third character, however, expect their forces: at one time it is recommended to use 1-2 characters.
Now, calculating the time within the originally measured 40 minutes write on each leaf the name of your part that you know about it (or are now):
Second step: the letters
The main strategy of this step is to build a dialogue between you and your parts. In the future, and possible dialogues between the parts, but will limit ourselves to the first, the most important task. Remember – you are the master of your inner world, you solve all the contradictions.
For building such a dialogue, we will try to write a letter to each of the selected in the first step parts. Look at the results accomplished in the first step of the work and decide who you want to "chat" with in the first place. Take a clean sheet, set a timer for 20-25 minutes and write a letter part, starting treatment on top of the sheet: "Dear John DOE!", — substituting the desired name.
In General, it may be just the usual-writing, as if we are writing it to another person, which includes a good enough. It is possible (a) to Express their feelings, attitudes, wishes, opinions, (b) to ask questions, the answers to which you want to hear. And it is not necessary (a) to argue and criticize in a form that extends beyond at least a respectful conversation; (b) to Express a doubt of the value of the source (if it is not clear you can ask questions about it). For example, the questions that you ask inside the text:
Step three: answers
Oddly enough, the answers to your letters, you can also get. The answer may just dream (at least, to dreams after such a letter should be treated carefully and to treat them with curiosity). Sometimes the answer can serve as some image or words pop-up in the head themselves, and in the waking state.
But the main way, all well — written. Set a timer for 20-25 minutes, read a letter written yesterday, take another sheet and write another letter – this time addressed to myself, as if on behalf of that part with which You "converse". It should be started with reference to you via Your preferred form of the name: I'm in this situation will need to write "Dear Volodya! Writes to you, DOE..." And allow yourself to write what is writing.
In the end once again important. The idea of all this work is to build a respectful dialogue with our various "parts"sub-personalities, using imagination and possibilities of writing. The key issue for the success of this work is the ability to retain a calm, respectful and interested the state in which we examine ourselves, revealing ourselves, sometimes with unexpected sides, and agreeing with you — in a very literal sense – saving to her the attitude we want to Express ourselves. Attitude of interest, respect, trust, compassion, openness. Maintaining this position and this "tone" of the relationship in this work is always more important than compliance or adherence to the lists of issues.
Author: Vladimir Mokhov
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: www.pismennyepraktiki.ru/raznye-chasti-sebia-druzhba-po-perepiske/
In already distant from us early 20th century Italian psychiatrist and psychologist Roberto Assagioli suggested the word that is now quite often seen in around psychological circles. "Personality" — part subordinate to us (but not always willing to obey), and as if responding to some kind of our desire, the need found its satisfaction in the implementation. The character inner world, the internal actor of the theater.
Assagioli proposed a number of methods of working with these "parts" or "sides", putting at the forefront a few principles:
- "Actors" — many, Director - one. The man himself controls its parts, stands in the centre.
- Each part has value. Even the most unpleasant. We just don't always understand what this value is, may not always agree with you and understand yourself.
- The main way to "friendship" — a respectful dialogue. With your parts you can and should negotiate.
In what situations and why this may be useful:
1."Domestic discord," when you want several contradictory things. For example – a roll and want to eat, because it is very tasty, and like a diet to keep desirable, because the shape and health."The work" will be the two desires and the feelings that they Express. After examining each of them in a "conversation" with the appropriate character's inner world, easily and consciously make decisions.
2. If you are staying in any life situation, are unable to be determined with respect to it. "On the one hand I like it, with another – causes resentment", say. These "two sides" are a good "entrance" to the work. After examining each of these parties can understand what has caused contradictions in relation to the situation and come to greater certainty.
3. If on the path to some goal you encounter internal resistance, as if something (or someone) inside you giving you a reaction. It might be the feeling (fear, say), or thought ("I can't do it"). Will work with that here is somebody who thinks, or who is causing you this feeling. Usually his reasoning is at least to listen – maybe it's "resistance" points to the previously unnoticed side of the situation, warns about something. Well, maybe is the usual prior methods of behavior, is not relevant now, and relevant "parts" you just need to explain that everything changed.
The overall goal of the work that I suggest you to do is to understand yourself.Good companions in this journey are usually calm and curious. Unfortunately, without these satellites, such work can be dangerous and only exacerbate internal conflicts.
What not to do:
- Not worth to work independently with situations that cause you to have feelings stronger than 6-7 points on a notional ten-point scale. Best to seek in person help from professionals.
- Not worth to work independently with the topics about which we know that they are linked with severe traumatic events from your past. Such travel is also better to do not alone.
- Should not undertake work if you are exhausted, depressed, or otherwise feeling a lack of resources. First – restore the resources.
1.Place. Select the place where you will not be disturbed, where you are comfortable and you can focus.
2.Time. Time should be enough. At each stage, take a 30-40 minutes, so not in a hurry.
3.Timer. We will measure the time. Will fit any mechanical, electronic, you can just use the phone.
4.A notebook (or paper) and something you prefer to write, pen, pencils.
5.I'll say it again – curiosity and peace researcher. Invite them with you.
So, get to work. Please read the instructions completely before starting.
Step one: an introduction
In this step, we actually need to allocate and call parts that are involved in a situation that you are working with and get to know them, making of them a sort of story.
Set a timer for 40 minutes, put in front of a notebook. Imagine a situation in question. I have described above three cases, suitable for start of work. The main idea is the same, but here are specific instructions for each of them, in them I'll use the same examples as above.
Internal disorder
Think first about the one your desire or aspiration. Can you imagine a character who is responsible for its implementation? "Internal someone" want a muffin? How would you call it? Dream boldly, and don't be afraid of possible mistakes. Humor is appreciated. Write his name on top on a separate sheet of Notepad.
Then think of a second wish."Internal who" strictly follows the diet? Write his name on top of another sheet.
Internal uncertainty
Uncertainty generally indicates the ability of both methods to treat the situation. Think first about the former. "Internal someone" would treat this situation this way? Say, who like what is happening inside of you? How would you call it? Dream boldly, and don't be afraid of possible mistakes. Humor is appreciated. Write his name on top on a separate sheet of Notepad.
Then think about the second method of relationship. Say, "someone inside" the situation causes resentment? Write his name on top of another sheet.
Internal resistance
Resistance of one kind or another is often accompanied by more or less clear feelings and/or thoughts. Try to start to identify, name and write it a feeling or a thought. In the example it is "fear" or "I can't do it". Further question may be three, choose the one that best fits:
(1) "Interior who" experiences it (who inside of you is afraid)?
(2) the "Internal someone" cause you have this feeling (inside scares you)?
(3) "Someone inside" you belong these words (who, like, tells you that you can not afford)?
Allocated so "characters" can be whoever and whatever. Internal boys and girls, internal criticism, animals, mythical characters, characters from literature and fairy tales – who just will not find here. Try not really to wonder why you came up with it is this – allow yourself the imagination. The result of this work, you should have one or two leaf with the "names"-names of your parts. Suddenly appear a third character, however, expect their forces: at one time it is recommended to use 1-2 characters.
Now, calculating the time within the originally measured 40 minutes write on each leaf the name of your part that you know about it (or are now):
- Who is she – a person, an animal, a mythical character, someone else? What she looks like? How old is she? What to wear (or likes to dress in principle) – if he wears clothes, of course, are there any features of appearance?
- What do you know about her character, habits, characteristics? Where she lives, maybe?
- How often do you receive in your life? In any areas? What is the impact? What helps?
- Maybe there is some history of her life that you can describe?
Second step: the letters
The main strategy of this step is to build a dialogue between you and your parts. In the future, and possible dialogues between the parts, but will limit ourselves to the first, the most important task. Remember – you are the master of your inner world, you solve all the contradictions.
For building such a dialogue, we will try to write a letter to each of the selected in the first step parts. Look at the results accomplished in the first step of the work and decide who you want to "chat" with in the first place. Take a clean sheet, set a timer for 20-25 minutes and write a letter part, starting treatment on top of the sheet: "Dear John DOE!", — substituting the desired name.
In General, it may be just the usual-writing, as if we are writing it to another person, which includes a good enough. It is possible (a) to Express their feelings, attitudes, wishes, opinions, (b) to ask questions, the answers to which you want to hear. And it is not necessary (a) to argue and criticize in a form that extends beyond at least a respectful conversation; (b) to Express a doubt of the value of the source (if it is not clear you can ask questions about it). For example, the questions that you ask inside the text:
- What's your name? (keep in mind, name your part, which she "calls" may differ from that name who called you).
- Why have you come?
- In what situations do I need for what?
- From what are you protecting me?
- What do you want to change?
- What do you need?
- What do you want from me? How can I help you?
Step three: answers
Oddly enough, the answers to your letters, you can also get. The answer may just dream (at least, to dreams after such a letter should be treated carefully and to treat them with curiosity). Sometimes the answer can serve as some image or words pop-up in the head themselves, and in the waking state.
But the main way, all well — written. Set a timer for 20-25 minutes, read a letter written yesterday, take another sheet and write another letter – this time addressed to myself, as if on behalf of that part with which You "converse". It should be started with reference to you via Your preferred form of the name: I'm in this situation will need to write "Dear Volodya! Writes to you, DOE..." And allow yourself to write what is writing.
In the end once again important. The idea of all this work is to build a respectful dialogue with our various "parts"sub-personalities, using imagination and possibilities of writing. The key issue for the success of this work is the ability to retain a calm, respectful and interested the state in which we examine ourselves, revealing ourselves, sometimes with unexpected sides, and agreeing with you — in a very literal sense – saving to her the attitude we want to Express ourselves. Attitude of interest, respect, trust, compassion, openness. Maintaining this position and this "tone" of the relationship in this work is always more important than compliance or adherence to the lists of issues.
Author: Vladimir Mokhov
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: www.pismennyepraktiki.ru/raznye-chasti-sebia-druzhba-po-perepiske/