This simple story and many others.
One young man tired of receiving spam, and more specifically - spam on ICQ freight.
He complained to his friends on one site.
And together they decided to make this company the day of order.
All managers in ICQ, by phone, by email were inundated with requests for the carriage of cloud elephants, airplanes, bank safes and so on. The work at the firm arose.
And then, in desperation, the firm's management turned to the man who organized it for spam advertising. Thus I came on the scene Vladimir.
He swore terrible words, most decent of them were "rogue".
In his words - "Mazda Three" - the top careers for the spammer. And those who can not earn a "Mazda three" for several months without a loan - scary fuckers.
But is not the point, the point is that if the creative approach to orders and help businesses that buy sending spam that can easily paralyze their work.
Details of history is to continue :)
Thus, the beginning of the attack:
December 31, 2007
XXX: Hello
XXX: I need cargo transportation
Trucking: Good afternoon, what?
XXX: how many people you have in the office?
Moving a lot
XXX: In general
Trucking how it relates to the carriage?
XXX: I need to carry 50 dead + office machinery
XXX: Suko Spam Jam! I'm an idiot! kill me, somebody! 1111111111111
Moving sor not we carry
XXX: and two bags of TNT? 30 December 2007
YYY: Gazelle looking to move
Trucking: 450 5 + 1 Price per hour, and minimum number of hours of work from 3000
gruschiki
YYY: but how gruschikov 3000?
Equipment: 2
YYY: strong guys?
YYY: we've got a safe
Trucking weight?
YYY: e ...
YYY: I do not know
Moving: if up to 150 kg is not a problem
YYY: but great
YYY: no. more. certainly more than
YYY: moreover, it is not an empty
YYY: how much, by the way, take the weight of a gazelle?
Moving: if we place more then 50kg plus 500 rubles for every 50 kg
Shipping: 1, 5 tons of
YYY: this is normal
YYY: just enough, and probably
Trucking: a approximate weight in our hands was transferred about 400 kg, but this priest put it mildly
YYY: and the boys can quickly immerse safe?
Trucking: then you do not need a gazelle and arm it will be easier and cheaper
YYY: no. manipulator - something conspicuous
YYY: and rides slowly
Trucking is
YYY: we must quickly
Trucking faster gazelles
YYY: fast load and quickly leave
YYY: you know - panic button, cops, everything
YYY: Surcharge for harm
Trucking sor do not do)
YYY: oh well ... you are paying three times!
YYY: luck
December 29, 2007
blblbl: Hello
Trucking: Good afternoon
blblbl: I am interested in trucking
Moving: What specifically?
blblbl: I am interested in ghazal closed body
blblbl: In the area Mitino cemetery
blblbl: How much will it cost to bring a gazelle to the cemetery, to load about 60-70 kilograms of cargo and about half an hour away?
28 December 2007
- Hello, inkatrans, hello!
- Moving doing?
- Yes.
- You know, I'm an idiot, and I kill somebody!
- What did you say?
- I said I was an idiot, and I kill someone. and then taken away.
- Where are you going to call?
- You!
- Where did you get our number, and why you call yourself an idiot?
- Because I'm an idiot !!! adinavdin
- You do not call back!
- There!
- Do not go there!
- I'm calling you! I'm an idiot, kill me !!!
- You need a hospital in the loony!
- Yes? Can you carry me there, you're trucking!
- It is a pity there is no hands-on my phone!
- So what? I'm still an idiot, I kill someone, and then taken away !! 1
27 December 2007
WWW: Good afternoon
Tatiana: Good afternoon! :-)
WWW: Hello, I have two of your contacts - ICQ numbers have
the second said that they are not engaged in cargo transportation
I am writing to you right?
Tatiana: it will be a gazelle or a bull
WWW: uh, excuse me?
bull?
bulls in the sense?
Tatiana: We are sorry pzhl.Da freight
WWW: great
it is necessary to transfer the load from the north of Moscow in Zelenograd and washed down the door
cargo - four steel box 2h2h3, each weighing about 300 kilograms
Well, a little bit of size has a timer comes on every
WWW: Tatiana?
Tatiana, I know that we'll never see each other again
and I want to say that you have beautiful legs. farewell Tatiana.
December 26, 2007
Svetlana: tuk tuk
logisticians have?
Tatiana Maiss: there))
Svetlana: international?
Tatiana Maiss: yes
Tatiana Maiss: Who are you?
Svetlana: I'm sorry if the question is stupid, but because India is now possible to deliver something avtotrasnportom?
Svetlana: We - small-scale trade
Svetlana: tea do here, I worked out transport schemes
Tatiana Maiss: You know, I can not answer this question for the 6 years of the request for delivery from India were not. You will likely need ocean freight, road and we
Svetlana: Yes, the sea, of course, cheaper, but we nuance ...
Tatiana Maiss: What?
Svetlana: large
Svetlana: we are taking the elephant
Svetlana: Indian
Svetlana: advertising tea
Svetlana: the steamer did not take
Svetlana: fear
Tatiana Maiss: it's funny?
Svetlana: No
Svetlana: this is a fact of life
Svetlana: how to bring an elephant from India to Moscow
Tatiana Maiss: as the official name of your company?
Svetlana: will undertake at least calculate?
Tatiana Maiss: Take it. can I call you back?
Svetlana: LLC "Office-Holding"
Svetlana: Of course
Tatiana Maiss: at what number?
Svetlana: that's number: 8 (926) XXX-XX-XX
asked Basil. while I'll move
December 25, 2007
about! made contact authority:
Vladimir: Good day
Svetlana: Hello
Svetlana: something you wanted to ask?
Vladimir: Yes, wanted to ask - what do you want?
Svetlana: I specifically - brought from India an elephant. in gazelles.
namely WE - make you understand that ordering a spam e-mail, you will likely gain clients in addition to getting more and are now "bonuses" ...
understand the spam - it zapadlo
Svetlana: this is spy on her grandmother when she cleaned.
you are spying, Vladimir?
Svetlana: Order spam submissions you put on your company's cross as a serious partner
Vladimir: tell the number, you will remove from the database
Svetlana: I have decided that you need to tell about it
Svetlana: the trouble is that I'm not alone. We have become too much. You do not vsera started
Vladimir: appeal to you is the same.
Svetlana: delete the number one so it will not be. you have to completely abandon the spam
Svetlana: It is today just from me (and only if?)
Svetlana: what will happen tomorrow ... I do not know
Vladimir: Tell me, you do not tire dealers in trains? How are they different from spam? You're fighting with them?
Vladimir: And advertising in your mailbox? it is also spam you complained to El Dorado?
Svetlana: it's not really something. those poor fellows have no choice. they have nothing to eat. and you - quite a serious company.
Svetlana: and also came under the hot hand
Vladimir: critical days?
Svetlana: type of
Vladimir: How old are you?
Vladimir: more than 20?
Svetlana: and you?
Svetlana: Vladimir - mind you, I'm not complaining
Vladimir: I understand that you do not have more 20 years?
Svetlana: I act
Svetlana: you wanted to increase orders - keep
Svetlana: I am old enough to distinguish between a businessman from dolbodyatla Vladimir:
Vladimir: We have long engaged in spam as you are the first one who complains. Can you ask for money to give?
Svetlana:))))
Svetlana: No such razvlekalovo I would not trade for money
Svetlana: The better you change the number
Svetlana: or wait until we get tired
December 24, 2007
The authority began to threaten:
Vladimir: the flag in your hands, I advise you to grow up and wise up.
Request a megaphone has already been sent, then there is a request to your provider
Svetlana: the name of our legion, Vladimir
23 December 2007
XXX: Tatiana good day
XXX: I need a small cargo transportation of goods Moscow
XXX: Cargo kilograms on average 2-3
Tatiana Maiss: No
XXX: sorry, that means "no"?
Tatiana Maiss: such small loads are not engaged
XXX: Well then less often, but kilograms of 15-20 times a week for a month?
Tatiana Maiss: from the ton
XXX: No, well, to such an extent the sale of heroin has not yet matured ...
December 22, 2007
YYY: Voves, hello, it's me
Vladimir: Yeah gee gee gee
YYY: I have a colleague Svetlana, about an elephant from India.
YYY: really need, Voves. We have periods burn when two days later the elephant does not start - it will stop there to feed.
Vladimir: Come on, let's try how much weight the elephant?
YYY: ordinary elephant, Indian, weighs 3600 kg, two days will weigh 3400 (he plans on Thursday to take a shit should)
YYY: so gazelki? or larger than necessary, the bull?
December 21, 2007
Valentin: Hello inkatrans
You also now overcomes some bunch of idiots?
Tatiana Maiss: Hello.?
Valentin: I thought we were the only ones - have ordered the spam mail, we were promised an increase of customers, and now as an avalanche some - calls, SMSes, ICQ is smoking - and no order, continuous bullshit
Valentin: I understand, they call themselves "warriors Upyachka" idiots and somehow keep asking yourself killed
Tatiana Maiss :?
Valentin: we, too, were surprised
Valentin: is now working to find the source - is clearly that such an action can not be anything other than the machinations of competitors
Valentin: the truth we do not we carry loads. we have somewhat different specifics ...
Tatiana Maiss: What?
Valentin: intimate sphere
Valentin: as a result we now take out orders for IS)))
Valentin: tired laugh
Valentin: but the business suffers certainly
Valentin: the owner angrily
Valentin: you do not record the number of ICQ which is an attack?
We would very much handy such infa
Valentin: Tatiana?
Tatiana Maiss: there is no record
Valentin: zhalzhalzhal
Valentin: we have a concrete base
Valentin: give up right now, lads on punching
Valentin: it is necessary to punish assholes
Valentin: by the way, you have great legs, Tatiana
December 20, 2007
Broadcast continues:
Vladimir: ie I have a lot of idiots Now hear, yes?
Vladimir: I'm embarrassed that I speak?
Svetlana: about 18,000
Vladimir: ohuet !!!
Svetlana: say whatever you see fit, Vladimir
December 19, 2007
Vladimir ripe:
Vladimir: Gentlemen, you are all fools day before yesterday I bought a Mazda three and you ezdeete metro. And you have a lot of energy, which will take a couple of years itself (with age), and if you take it now to the development of self - climb in life, will have a high social status.
and now you're just an asshole
Vladimir: I finished
1. Jam all spam
2. "up" and buy the Mazda three and ezdeet on it!
haha! now I have a recipe for success govnomenedzhera! all you heard? sore losers)
December 18, 2007
username: Mazda treshka way - is garbage, Voves. That dick 25 cm - is a business, and Mazda treshka - it is garbage.
Vladimir: gee gee, that's just you did not see 25.
username: maiden you have the memory, Vova
December 17, 2007
lesha: Vladimir
lesha: Answer me
Vladimir: on!
Vladimir: 6-sign !!!
lesha: Soon you on ICQ Lord God knocks, yet so ohueesh.
lesha: You know that the Vatican has equated spam a mortal sin?
December 16, 2007
nothing: Welcome
Trucking: Good afternoon
nothing: I need to organize imports into Russia from Kazakhstan, have you been doing?
Trucking nevopros. what cargo it Vex volume size, the HS codes
nothing: About five tonnes, the volume count.
And contacts have been established with the customs?
nothing: it is necessary to transport the carrier will be inside, you will be able to organize?
nothing: Previous our partners complained about the searches and a laxative, in the end, decided to abandon them.
15 December 2007
misho: Good day
Tatiana Maiss: Hello
misho:
We offer a new housing complex in Bulgaria (in Byala)
To the sea 150 meters.
For you 37 apartments, security, elevator, parking, fitness center.
The total area of 2378.64 sq
Apartments from 25 sq m to 90 sq
Price: 750 Euro per sqm
The deadline for completion of the project 01.11.2008.
misho:
The town of Byala is located in a small valley in the eastern part of the Kamchia Mountain (Old Mountain). Stunning wide beach with clean, golden, fine sand, surrounded by stunningly beautiful scenery.
The city has two srednovekovnye nearby ancient fortress, centuries-old oak and beech forest, ethnographic park. The town of Byala has a marine pier, permanent maritime and land transport to the cities of Varna and Burgas.
Tatiana Maiss: ??????????????????????????????????????????????? ? 7
misho: It is a good vacation for you and your children !!!
misho: We also offer apartments in the resort of Sozopol and Nessebar, Sunny Beach and St. Vlas
Tatiana Maiss: Bulgaria ????????????????????????????????????????????? ????????????
misho: This MKAD
misho: Near
misho: Log in shallow sea, and the water is clear and clean. The climate is favorable for recovery and relaxation.
misho: Wholesale discount
misho: Not interested?
misho: you rob me of my working time - defines
December 14, 2007
35201743: Who are you?
Vladi: If you need transportation you can go direct?
35201743: well, yes, of course. Personally, I can on the backs of elephants from India to deliver.
Vladi: And here the elephant? You recommend decent people. Or do you have a publicity stunt?
35201743: just take a long time will
35201743: all to me only with a written recommendation
Vladi: Probably the company really serious. Well, where to send the recommendation?
35201743: letter. The Kremlin, Moscow, 1
Vladi: You have a day of humor or what?
35201743 why humor day before the first of April is far
35201743: I do not confuse you, say, will be ordered or not?
35201743: I have but you customers full
Vladi: Yes, you are the promise of an elephant, the Kremlin. In general, you are all so managers communicate? Can I with someone already particularly appropriate to talk about work?
35201743: you know, we now have a change occurs Directorate, Vladimir Vladimirovich Dmitry Anatolyevich case reports - they are not up to you. So it just me probably
35201743: I'm trying to help so what can
35201743: that deliver what is required?
Vladi: Ass on the moon. His and the rest of the spammers.
35201743: are you talking about?
Vladi: Hello ... and Tatiana you'll have tomorrow to increase their salaries.
December 13, 2007
uisky: Good morning. I would like to ask you do not send spam.
Trucking: Excuse us, please, we will not.
December 12, 2007
XXX: Hi - none of your ICQ does not respond - It is necessary to carry on Monday 50 packs of books to Kantemir (warehouse) on Tverskaya Street, Moscow to the store.
XXX: And what will happen-pay, or you require advance payment
Tatiana kind
XXX: Hello
XXX: It is advisable to need a car to 8 o'clock in the morning - the ninth floor, as then at Moscow's turn to unload bolshushy
Tatiana pzhl tell me the name of your company, the weight of the cargo, which form of payment
XXX: You payment is due weight or time?
XXX: OOO "Publisher Delta Press"
Tatiana: You rabotaetepo w / o VAT? or
Guba ™: In general, yes, better bank transfer - you will be billed for this, as I understand it, we have to send you their details
Tatiana: Yes
XXX: Well, you can order the book at Mazda drove treshke?
XXX: Vladimir Hello friend Tatiana also
XXX: You probably have a good woman, just contact with bad company. Dialogue with Vladimir rhinestones becomes clear that he is a difficult man.
XXX: I'm sorry that you took your time
Tatiana: I forgive
December 11, 2007
Vladimir dory day!
but remember, there was a center of American English?
there has been a director of, yes.
Ah, good times.
Who cares, I am sending him a series that's it. (War and Peace)
10 December 2007
- Hello, good day!
- Hello.
- It trucking?
- Yes.
- I need to carry a big load, about 3 tons.
- WE DO NOT Indian elephants Ammunition!
- WHAT??? Are you talking about?
- Oh, sorry, I was wrong
- All the best
- Wait!
- Do not wait, but better check with your superiors.
- Wait!
December 8, 2007
I call now Tatiana ...
I - Hello, this is Inkatrans?
T - Yes
I - you from St. Petersburg concerned
m - is in St. Petersburg? (doomed voice)
I - you know ...
T: (interrupting) I know, I know, the spam - it's bad ...
I - thank you. Dosvidaniya.
December 7, 2007
13:40:00: Tatiana, good afternoon!
13:40:26: I have a proposition for you - to hell cargo! I'm crazy about your feet, no, really!
December 6, 2007
Your application to send SMS-messages accepted
Send another message
"Hello, I'm saying the elephant. I think I want to forcibly evacuate from India! Help! "
December 5, 2007
I: vіtayu
Tatiana: Hello
I: Tetyanko, I'm here, I want you one rіch skazati
Tatiana: I'm sorry ???
I: I just vpevneny scho you duzhe garnі legs
Tatiana (see heard the familiar word "feet") again elephants ???
I: dorechі spam - that Je duzhe shits. tsіluyu vashі feet Tetyanko
December 4, 2007
- Hello? (cautiously)
- Good day, you do the logistics?
- Yes, on occupancy (wearily)
- My name is Daniel, the company Novalyuks. We are interested in cargo transportation in Moscow and the regions. Are you doing this?
- Yes, of course.
- We would be interested in a permanent job. That is two to three times a month. Do you have any policy on working with our regular customers?
- Yes, we can conclude a contract with you on a regular basis. Depending on the turnover, we offer discounts.
- Well. The truth is there are a couple of nuances.
Hello!
Who is it?
Who you are?
-