Stickiness is of three degrees
The first degree of stickiness
— people notice that I sometimes unstuck for a while, but at every opportunity stick again, because of course he was hungry, cold, scared, with nothing to fill the hole. The second degree of stickiness
— people almost don't notice its stickiness, and when the notices did not unstuck, and trying to compensate for "care," making the stick even more. The third degree of stickiness
— people not only don't notice its stickiness, but also believes that stick to him, not let him go, hold, beg, and sometimes he does not stand inferior to, out of kindness.
Typically, the tackiness is between the two adjacent degrees, depending on the level of human power. When more power (it depends on the state of other resources and physical form) less stickiness, but when the stress, the tackiness increases. The stickiness of the boundaries connected with the thirst of a merger, but the thirst for mergers is the desire to complement yourself with someone else's identity, to strengthen, to obtain additional support.
On a sticky people can not rely on (especially poor as it is expressed), he feels inside the gaping hole and wants to fill this hole support another person: his love, his approval, his agreement to provide his shoulder and their resources in use. It is very rare reflexively so.
Often sticky man feels tactile-emotional hunger, he wants to hear the voice, feel the warmth of the hands, make sure they are with the second "together". He can not think such a thirst for the abnormal, it is sure that everyone loves so. In fact, such a famine it means the famine, vampiric thirst of someone else's warmth and emotional care
And when people miss each other mutually and are starving for the warmth of each other, it's not that bad (although it's better when both want each other to warm and not to use for warming), but when one is indifferent, closed, and the second is starving and tries to get to him in any way, the stickiness of such aggression
. Second think about the subject, want to use it, ignoring his resistance. To see its stickiness aggression is the best way to get rid of the stickiness.
Once you agree to see that the pull of the love and support — not only pointless, but also aggressive, you will no longer stick, and then you will begin to strengthen itself from within. That's the way you grow. Many are wondering how to grow up?
Here and so. To stop the pull from the other wing, to begin to take care of yourself from the inside out.The only reason stickiness is a refusal to develop domestic support, the desire to lean on the other.
Sticky man uses any means, but would not come off, just not to become emotionally independent. It represents independence as the cold and hunger alone, but actually the cold and hunger he is experiencing because of its stickiness. He can't warm himself, he cannot feed, he begged, humiliated and sticky, and all the time push. He lives in hell, covering this hell with illusions, but illusions don't save.The stickiness of the first degree can be considered a normal transition from infantile to Mature borders.
This is normal, when it is difficult to grow up and abandon the habits of a child. If a person tries to become independent and aware of how it burdensome and unattractive, while remaining childish, process goes fine and soon a person will develop skills to rely on yourself and be a support for others, and not Vice versa. People are accustomed to rely on themselves and be an inspiration to others, never be sticky.
He would never stoop as a well-earning person would not beg and look into the eyes of a dog to get a few rubles. For him it is akin to madness. It is not something that follows the principle of "sent — come", to him and to hint enough to keep up, more than that, it never sticks, it's set up for mutual pleasure and noticing that the pleasure of a second is not so considerable, will not be imposed. To get rid of the stickiness in the first degree is not too difficult,
if you have a correct installation, if you love the independence and to see its beauty. It's like to finish school, come to work at the company and serve all coffee, dreaming about the position, relevant education. Few people will be happy to remain a servant, it's clear that respect and a decent wage in this role cannot be expected. The same applies to tack. Praise me, comfort me, calm me, remember me, give me your hand, give five cents of love for poverty. That's what it's like tongs sticky people, all the while feeling sadness and loneliness. Themselves praise and comfort, do not force those who are not lucky you will like it. And when you offer them your praise and consolation that you are particularly ridiculous. While you are hungry and sticky, your praise is worth nothing. Do you own the legs go, who you want to support? Who would think to rely on you? You look too weak and useless. On the second and especially the third stage of stickiness to reflect your vampirism difficult, so very difficult to get rid of it.
In the second stage, almost all turns on sturmanite. The Navigator sticks, but don't want to see it, he thinks he "cares". From care sturmanite is different because the care really need to, care about, and Navigator — he is only interested in his "care" because of the stickiness of its borders.
"Hello," says the Navigator, someone who had already fled from him and hid, but rested and appeared again. "Hi, Vladislav. How was your day? What did you do today? Do you want to go to a movie? I've just bought you two tickets. I have a book you as a gift, you once talked about this". Vladislav was not happy that he wrote hi, he mumbles something, and the Navigator is convinced that behaves like an adult, independent person, not sticky, on the contrary offers support. Then the Navigator will call back several times and remind you about the movie and the book, and when Wladyslaw refused, will send by courier both. Here at this stage to deal with the stickiness is very difficult. Man does not see that he is a hungry vampire, he feels that he is too generous and too caring, and that he is dependent and clingy, not to notice.
If, in response to your "care" that's the sweet mumbles or snaps, most likely you got it its stickiness, covered with unnecessary gifts. You don't just stick you're trying to buy feedback. Beggars are better than you, at least they are honest beg from the bottom, and you pretend that you care at the top to get yourself more love a person who really doesn't like you. This degree of stickiness men often suffer.
They are ashamed to be poor beggars and they build themselves from important caregivers. In response they often receive kicks and come to the conclusion that women are ungrateful dogs. Although for that you should thank? For dem'yanov ear? No one to blame, you take your ear under the crown for the benefactor. In the third stage of stickiness
even sturmanite his man to reflect on is not capable. It seems that it grabbed and not let go. In his last letter elaborates on the transition from the second stage of stickiness on the third. At first the woman just "cares" about the man vparivaya unnecessary trips and the sadness from his indifference (but not to form and not even thinking), then pours on it a bucket of tears, thinking that greatly offended him with something, and then when the man tries slightly to support it, she marvels why he is so strongly clung to her and looking for what hooks he inserted.
Sticky people at this stage always seems that they grabbed. They don't realize they dug themselves, they think they behave normally, I do not see how their crying and running around shocking the unprepared person. They are able to screw his brains out with a hammer complaints, but when a person tries to apologize, conclude "he's harassing me, he needs me". Watching people in the third stage of stickiness, it seems that watching a psychological Thriller with a sharp-toothed monster with crown in the title role.
I want a comic about an evil crown for you to draw. I in the near future probably will.published
Author: Marina Komissarova
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©