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"My mom taught me not to try to help people if they don't ask. I thought she was unresponsive. But, when I grew up I realized that she was right. Mom is a kind-hearted man" — so thinks the blogger CamMi Pham. She brought 3 rules help people that have a Website are going to begin to follow immediately.

1. Stop trying to help people who don't deserve it.





Startups often ask me for advice. I know how hard it is to do a startup, I develop one. And yet I ceased to share knowledge for free. Earlier, people were constantly inviting me for coffee just to "use my brain". You have in the Bank, flapping a few million in venture capital money, and you want to get my expertise for free, even without paying for my tea! This is unacceptable.

They don't understand that I need to feed my family, pay the bills and to comply with deadlines for work. They do not realize that the time spent for a Cup of tea with them I then have to compensate by working until two in the morning.

If they do not consider that my time has value, then I don't have time!

If people spit on you, don't help them. They don't deserve your help.

People will always exploit you if you allow them. You don't have time to help everyone. Help only those who deserve it. And better start with yourself.



2. Stop trying to help people who don't appreciate your help.





My biggest weakness is that I like to help people. I help regardless of whether asked for it or not. But you never know when that kind of thinking will hurt you.

One of my former client's business was not. My team spent a few days analyzing data to understand what the problem is. It is not included in our commitments and to account for it I didn't. In the end, we found serious flaws in its strategy and business model. We showed the customer their insights, and he fired us on the spot.

We did the work out of compassion for the client. But we told him what he wanted to hear. And in the end made the man we hate because he expressed his professional opinion.

The easiest way to turn a friend into an enemy is to give the advice he wants to hear.

When I offer someone help, I really want to help. But often people are not ready to accept it. This is normal.



3. Stop to help, if you can't help 100 %.





A few years ago, my parents left for a month abroad, and asked me to look after the house. I had no idea how to water houseplants. Some I "thanks", and some "nedovolil". By the time the parents returned, all the plants were dead. If asked to help someone who is versed in the flora room, dad's Pets would still be alive. And I since the distance of a cannon shot to the pots are not allowed.

If you don't have the time or skills to help the person, you probably hurt him.

Offering unskilled assistance, you are depriving people of the opportunity to find a candidate better. So your kindness in some cases, also can hurt people. One of the easiest ways to destroy a relationship with a man — to offer him assistance you are able to provide.







Author cammipham


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