10 mistakes in love that Mature woman for anything will not happen again

I'm almost 42, and sometimes I like to say that I don't believe in love, romance, eternal happiness. With men I'm straight as a bamboo, would not hesitate to report that I like and don't like. Send to hell, too, without hesitation.

Periodically, I check myself: is my heart froze, and my soul shrunk? Because I could wait one day to text messages that went somewhere on the edge of the world, if he called, without hesitation bought expensive gifts, just to make it a pleasant, cooked Breakfast and lunch menus, which, of course, preferred favorite, tormented friends endless "he said, what could it be?". So naturally, "he" was hiding all kinds of men: someone I loved, someone lived, someone was just in love, drawn to someone without reciprocity.

Each time I was more ready for love. Now if this willingness is gone, does that ability to love too?







How to understand what you like, where your boundaries and who you are, not having a different experience? So in my youth, we willingly rush into any experiments with the appearance, profession, sex, love.

After 25 some kind of framework we already receive: education, professional experience, full of bumps with sex and love. We are not so rampant in the experiments, more definite in their purposes. Many have married and have children. Or start to build a serious relationship with the prospect of it all. We have something we understand about life, but still understand very little about myself. Confuse your desires with the desires of society. Love substitute sacrifice. It seems to us that men need to please, otherwise he will be offended and leave.







This does not mean that we don't need anyone. We have become successful, selfish, self-sufficient loners? No. We as in 20, want love, want of heat, want a relationship. We just understand that in a healthy relationship all it's mutual. The man either does the same or does not stay in our lives. As said Omar Khayyam, "I don't want someone who doesn't need me."

So I...more

1. Do not expect male calls or messages.

Or I write myself, or delete the contacts of those who can not find time for a short response: "Sorry, I'm busy, dial later".







If a man is not interested in neither time, nor desire, no comfort women, so he's generally not interested in the woman. And such a man I do not need.

3. Do not forgive the lack of gifts on my birthday and other important holidays for me.

• I like men who like to spend money on a woman that they like, that is me. Financially stingy people are usually stingy and everything else. Inattention to dates that are important to man, is negligence and the person as a whole.
• Those who we love, want to pamper and delight. All that is important to them becomes important to us. If you do not care, or pity, or forgotten — you can forget my number too.

This does not mean that from a man I just want money. But "with sweet heaven in a tent" — not exactly a story from the life of a Mature woman. Their "tents" we left for 20 and 30 years, 40 we already have hand-built a comfortable life and no excuses.

5. Not to mention the fact that I don't like.

Of course, I can't stand the man brain endless nagging. But there are things that the other person has no clue just because he's different.

If I don't like speed, she scares me, I am not silent or not ohau admiringly, if a man accelerates to 180 km/h. I'm Also not reported angrily: "Where are you running, how you're going!" — I quietly say, "don't chase, please, I'm nervous and I'm scared."







In youth we are afraid to clarify unclear as we don't want to startle, strain or injure a man. But it is this lack of clarity and hurt ourselves. I don't want wounds, so all out.

7. Don't take sex for love. Sex can be associated with love, and can not be linked.

Love for me is to iron your shirt, be quiet with me in the morning, because I like to talk, to remember the name of my cat and how many spoons of sugar I put in coffee, to bring in may bouquet freshly cut, wet from the rain the peonies, come and silently fix a leaky faucet. If all this, but there is only sex, so we just sleep together.

8. Not jealous man friends or work.

Or children from a previous relationship. If a man loves me, he finds time for me. Includes me in his busy schedule of meetings, trips, football with friends or fishing with his son. Because I also live in a dense, busy life.

• If we both find time for each other, then everything is OK, we have a relationship.
• If the time for a relationship only I find, and the man is busy all the time, therefore, for a relationship I need to find someone else.

Me and my shirt to stroke a burden. I don't do for men anything that is a burden to me. If he loves me — he'll iron his shirt himself.

10. Not trying to look better for men. On the contrary, when meeting, I can be even worse, rougher, more cynical, more straightforward. Not shy to talk about their problems or difficulties. Those who need always look deeper and further. Those who do not, will pass.

I'm almost 42 years old. And I bamboo. Straight, strong, flexible, and unpretentious. I'm hard to break, bend or uproot. I annealed. But I still want to love. Just not ready to make sacrifices for the sake of it. Love — creation, not death and destruction. Let's build.

Source liza
Photo eastnews preview
The Author Psychologist Elena Sundra


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