Each of us in the communion would like to produce the impression of a confident person, who listens to the views, which, however, turns out not always. Author and psychologist Viktor Shein wrote a thick book on the methods of persuasion, and we are in the Website
took 14 of her best recommendations, following which you will be able to expertly build a conversation even with the most difficult interlocutor.
Not the number of arguments decides the matter, and their strength and order. Moreover, the same argument for different people can be strong and weak, so try to take the place of this person and consider how it looks from his position.
Scientists have proven that when a person hears "no" in his blood the hormone norepinephrine, tuning on the fight. On the contrary, the word "Yes" leads to the release of "pleasure hormones" — endorphins. Having two servings of "pleasure hormones", the other party is psychologically easier to accept than to fight.
"Nothing disarms like the terms of honorable surrender", — said the great Pascal. Offer a solution that will allow assure to go out of the predicament and will exalt him in his own eyes. This will help him to accept your point of view!
Stereotypes still live in our heads, so do not appear in torn jeans in the courtroom or the office of the big boss. But when solving complex cases don't be afraid to ask a respected person to put in a good word or at least refer to the opinion of the authority.
"The petitioner: I really need your assistance..."
Head: "And because you seem to have asked for our help?"
Petitioner: "Yes, repeatedly".
Head: "Well then enough with you."
This example shows that there is an incorrect phrase, and after that have nothing to say. It is also worth to stop apologizing without due reason, to show insecurity and self-deprecation.
An indication of the error or wrong source is bad for his image and, therefore, perceived pain and provoke conflict. If I had to point to the penalty is necessary, say it so that the man was not humiliating to agree with you.
So remember before talking to take care of their appearance and pleasant manners, and during the conversation, learn to listen and to Express respect to the interlocutor. Correct speech is not even discussed.
Each of us with pleasure listens to what is consistent with his views, and Vice versa, we get annoyed when audible is contrary to prevailing us opinion. The first speaker makes a pleasant conversationalist, the second — unpleasant, therefore find at least some little thing that brings you.
Try to catch the emotional state of another person and empathize with him — so you'll be much better to present the thoughts of your interlocutor.
This follows from the previous rules and will be of immense help: the consideration of disputes it turns out that many of them flare up just because the disputants are talking about different things, but don't understand it.
Forget about the arrogance, rudeness, mockery, boasting, and not to impose advice and do not interrupt the interlocutor.
Often we say the same words, meaning completely different. Therefore, to avoid misunderstandings, do not hesitate to ask questions like "What do you mean?" and synthesizing such phrases as "in Other words, you think..."
We don't know what really thinks the listener about our words, so the surest way is to trace the bodily reaction of a person. In addition, we ourselves are weak, if our gestures and posture do not match the spoken words, therefore it is necessary to direct attention to your body.
The ability to satisfy any need of the interlocutor itself is the strongest argument, so delicately and the time to draw this to his attention.And a few more little tips:Be laconic.
Remember and use key words of the interlocutor. Don't be afraid to disagree with an opponent. Ask, not assert. Not to prove the obvious.
And remember: the mechanical, the unthinking use of rules
only destroys fellowship. Even Peter the Great in one of his famous decrees were warned: "do Not hold on to the Statute Aki wall. In each case it is necessary and head to make".See also
15 things that don't make self-confident people
How to communicate to a memory of you bring a smile