When the "straw" too much: it is NOT NECESSARY to solve children problems

In our society it often happens that people who are repeatedly confronted with difficult situations or lived in conditions of resource constraint, and subsequently trying to "podstelit straw" (more straw) to everyone whom I love and appreciate.

For example, growing up in hunger and cold and grandparents, trying to feed the grandchildren better fed, so never had to experience the horrors of a hungry post-war period.

Parents who were unable to travel freely and choose a residence, make every effort to ensure that a favorite child was able to get an education abroad, to see the world yeah to show themselves. Was not childhood toys — Nedarim their child, along with your uncovered requirements to satisfy, not to suffering children, as we have a child.


Well, then, who it: some agree with the child, praise and love unconditionally, because the child was only one criticism, others are allowed to beat and destroy everything around, because the child should grow up free, and others dress up kids as if he is not playing in the backyard sandbox, and welcome to the Emperor of the middle Kingdom. Amulets amulets, but working with older people regularly notice that they have grown in conditions when the straw was too much.

The main task of the elders in the family and society in General, I see to help the younger generation to learn to independently solve emerging on their way to challenges and obstacles. Not that that was always happy and always warm and cozy when mom and dad give the children resources so they can live in peace after the death of their parents, to know that I will be able to fit into the flow of life.

With kids somehow society manages, rules, like, set, even approximately, but parents know when the child a spoon to hold needs to learn when to walk, when to talk. And notice how much older start to panic if the child's development is delayed!

Parents try to teach a child to dress, tie shoes, brush teeth, wash face, at school he is taught to write, to count, to read, gradually familiar with the environment, flora and fauna, various Sciences, in the Institute there is a deepening courses, but what happens in the parent family (and continues to own) where the father and mother should become role models for the maturing person?

How many stories that the children do not want to study very well in University, the forces on the exams no, not really to visit to visit, all sour and sluggish, even on the paid training. And parents doing anything to get my son into the army did not go and my daughter got the crust.

Care about children and their safety — the phenomenon absolutely normal, but still he or she must understand that learning is the zone of their responsibility, their life, their priorities, and while parents do not put children before the fact, not enough for them that it becomes clear.

When the son or daughter know that it is possible to learn as anyone, to be deducted indefinitely, because mom and dad insure — agree, will pay, put in a good word for kids, the growth in such processes is very small. And most importantly, then this "character" comes across the husband or the wife, character is very reminiscent of an overprotective parents, and the degradation continues.

Women who are trying to build for the business men and "make" them millionaires and then pay loans and give pocket money, husbands who have to deal with work and life and kids, because wife still can not accept the role of the mother and the changed schedule, and wants to be as lighthearted and free as before birth. All in good moderation, the poison of the drug is dose.

Yes, different periods in the life of the family — occasionally all is well, then can come the difficulties, then again, the path is flattened. Of course, the atmosphere of warmth and comfort feeling for everyone, but between genuine concern and the stifling hyperopia a big difference.

First, the child is not allowed to face the consequences of his choice, even if it is wrong, then require a grown adult and responsible decisions. Where they come from, if the person never mourned over a lost or broken toy (because instead of just a dozen new purchase), if the father never called the son on a serious conversation after he ran away from another girl if high school student once again did not say a word, because already there "the customer is always right"?

How to take conscious relation to intimacy, body and health in General, if the majority of people have no idea where they are located and what tasks it is responsible. What can we say about a Mature and conscious relationship, where they come from at all?

The inability to manage your time, money, abilities, weeping and falling up at the first difficulties in any area of life, the program of permanent escape from the difficulties to bigger and better things, desire of joy, of pleasure, wealth, fame, and other ease of life - the typical characteristics of people who grew up with those who constantly solve their problems for them.

It is wrong, impossible! If you do not allow man to make mistakes and try to Sedin to insure it at all, in the end will be that he and to go-that really have not learned what vertices conquest. Does this help in growth? No, of course.

Yes, child it is important to praise and support, but gradually you need to start to tell him the truth. In a respectful and sensitive manner, but the truth. If kids require accuracy in the drawings and the sculpting very difficult, older children need to instill higher standards. What can be praised 5-year-old child, it 15 will look like a strong delay in development.

In 30-40 years we are trying to master the same skills that had to be mastered in adolescence, and then we need to try to accelerate quicker to reach the level of "confident user" of human life. "Why nobody told me that I'm doing something wrong?", "Why nobody even tried to talk me out of stupidity?", "Why doesn't anybody care that I'm ruining my life?" — such questions often asked by people.

And everything seems to be right, they were allowed to make mistakes and to their own experience, but is the essence of the division of society into older and younger is not that one followed the other and listened to their opinions? And to the older listened to the elders should be respected, the right of "role model" for those who follow.

Learned there is a shared experience with the younger, learned to draw — suggested Junior how to best brush to keep, what to pay attention to how to deal with complex forms, learned to cook — showed those living and growing nearby, and just as it should be with love, friendship, compassion, forgiveness, mountain, mourning of loss, responsibility for words, actions, life, ability to make decisions, to get out of difficult situations, Dating, romance, conflict resolution, and many others.


Men need to say all RIGHT!

A little secret in relationships


Learned, lived experience, draw conclusions — share with others. Don't try to live my life for him to save from all ills, to paralyze an adult, trying to do everything for him, and live your life, take responsibility for your actions, think your thoughts, open your heart to others — nothing more is needed.

Lucid and Mature people can be seen from afar, very much like that in our society, these became more and more. Hyperopic not necessary, please remove the straw! It creates the illusion of security, because of this, people become careless, lose a lot of time in my life and don't have time to realize what I came to the planet. Let's help each other to grow.published


Author: Dean Richards


P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.facebook.com/dina.v.richards/posts/10153389762519452:2


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