I want to divorce

Such a desire often visits people in difficult times of the relationship, but I did not start with stories about a happy life after divorce, and a fairly large number of letters with regrets about this step. Well it is, just in case, suddenly someone come in handy.

I must say that I am for strong families, there is a Union for life, happiness, joy, light, love and all that, but also for sanity. People who think sensibly, like me, because they have trained myself to keep my head clean, and its contents in order.

A mess sooner or later leads to turmoil in life, to organize life, as you know, is not so simple. The contents of the head relates only to ourselves, but when it starts to turn into words, actions and deeds that hurt other people in the environment. So, about regrets.

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shot from a film "Mr. and Mrs. Smith»

Regrets about the divorce seem in a similar way: "We lived together for 15 years, then I left (La) to another person, but not developed. Wanted (and) return to my wife/husband and she/he appeared in the life of a good man instead of me. Wanted (and) I would to have all turned out differently", "Divorce seemed the only correct and very attractive solution, because we know each other for a long time, got married on the circumstances, love themselves, and never did, so I thought. So decided (a) to chop off everything, man hurt (-) it(-a) and to organize their lives could not (La) and me back is not accepted(-a). Why am I not lived in that marriage?", "I wanted to make a career and a family, as I thought, severely limited my potential. Made a choice in favor of a career, but the older I get the more I realize that she did not warm. I regret that I divorced (-Las), but there was nothing to return".

And these stories are really a lot. In 20 years, don't often thinking and saying, and to 30-40 starting to sprout in the human mind the thought of how easy it is to destroy the old and the new "better" to create each work.

Of course, there are many examples of happy re-marriage, especially when the first marriage happened in his youth and inexperience, the parents insisted on the marriage, not understanding the question, all thought that love she comes and remains for life, and various other circumstances, not too conducive to the emergence of a deep and happy Union.

Formally, the family has created, almost from the first day she began to fall apart, also formally divorced after a short time, then grew up, rethought their previous experience and began to live in peace and harmony with her new husband or new wife. This happens from time to time, life forces us to Wake up through the pain, but the stains and the processes through which must pass all members of the family, not the most pleasant and useful for development. Better for people to occupy themselves with something more constructive.

The problem with many of us is that I want to get a fast and effective solution to any problem, not wanting to invest, to wait, to change, to endure the hardships and expose themselves to any restrictions.

The slogan "the customer is always right" has taught millions of people around the world to try to solve it quickly, as "shaking" their own rights, making deals and signing contracts, but the difficulty is that these methods work only in artificially created systems.

If we could pay for the tree, so it turned into a mighty creation of nature for decades, and for a couple, maybe life would be easier, but the tree does not need our money.

If we could through simple actions and with no extra effort to know themselves and to touch the world of another person, wars and tragedies on earth would have happened less, but this is not happening. If I could wave a magic wand to love someone who lives next to us, but shows his nature imperfectly, it would be convenient, but these devices had not been invented.

Quick and effective solutions possible where people keep agreements and do not feel interested in your feelings, when it is the turn to make another loan payment, and you have no money? Here is a paper contract which is signed by you, and that means that you have to do something, regardless of the feelings and the heart, isn't it?

But is family and relationships the same as and when the business world? Does it not seem to you amazing that the stroke of a pen on paper inspires people to action stronger than a sleepless night held in the cold alone once a loved one? Isn't it possible that you strange the fact that the tears of children affected by the divorce of their parents, do not mean so much as mean a mortgage on an apartment, equitable division of property? Sad that two like adults and sort of lucid when you create families of people become distant, cruel, capricious and stubborn children, when it begins to ruin?

What this method is divorce? Why it is so attractive means of solving all problems for countless people? "I want a divorce!"— rushing to throw each other people every quarrel, every conflict of interest, every mistake at every opportunity and not very convenient.

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Go with these notepads around the house for each other and fix each "offense" to certainly not forget, and when such foibles are too much, it begins a sad game "I've had enough, let's get divorced!"Honestly, I not too believe in divorces by mutual consent when everyone found out, we talked and decided that "it would be better for all."

If so easily let go of each other, or between them, nothing sprouted or built such a wall of negative emotions that do not see each other. In words, you can say anything, but to remain locked and to wean from a person is not just hard, but painful, scary, disappointing, sad and often unbearable. There are separation between the deep and Mature individuals that occur quite delicately and with love, but stories of such units.

Wounded men injure each other for not learned to love, trying to hit harder and run further. If they are so immature, then where will the strength to try to preserve the family, to the children grew up in a normal atmosphere.

Each of us is surrounded by dozens of examples, when the family has kept its "for the children", but this persistence has brought to life the children's unwillingness to create my own family, the sense of insecurity, hypocrisy and meaninglessness of the parent Union. Anyway, and quick and easy solutions to situations on the verge of divorce no.

You have to weigh all that much time to try, to try, to make mistakes, to try to save, try to disperse, to come to clarity and agreement, and then again to tear down everything, because feelings came flooding back. Do not believe those who say that divorce is a great start to a new life. Yes, this is a beginning yeah, a new stage may be happy, but you have to win yourself and to work hard.

And yet, if there is at least a tiny chance to keep the family together, especially if there are children, you should try to do it. Not to jump to conclusions, to stand on pause, to live separately for some time, blow off steam, to get to what's inside, not to start a new relationship until you deal with what you have. No hack, no cutting, no hurt, do not pull, try to maintain contact as much as have the strength to try to listen and hear, to discuss, to negotiate, to think, to be silent, to grow up and open up.

 



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Oh, if people had the opportunity to squander their lives for 15-20 years, and to consider in detail relations to other people, then many would understand the algorithms of destruction and creation in behavior. And most of us are so much stuck in their script that has no particular reason to change one another, because of the variety, we will choose exactly the partners that will make us return to the failed lessons. But if lessons are not completed, then what's the point to run away from them? Do not run off.published 

 

Author: Dean Richards

 



Source: www.facebook.com/dina.v.richards/posts/10153331554459452:2