54
On female mercantilism
I have several girls I know with the same problem: it seems that everything is with them, both mind and appearance, and does not stick with men. How they were digging into themselves to find out why! They found fault with their face and feet, and went to the gym, and they tortured themselves with diets, and cosmetologists spent hours sitting... It's useless.
But any of the guys I know, looking at them, immediately gave a characteristic: “They are too mercantile.” And men feel that.” And now let's figure out what kind of mercantility it is, what kind of meaning men put into it, and what it scares away.
The main thing to understand is that it is not about money. It's not just them.
One of these girls, let's call her Katya, makes a pretty good living. She does not need a man as a way to solve financial problems. She needs it (as she says) as a shoulder and support. But, at the same time, the girl puts forward (in principle, quite adequate) requirements - the man must be ensured that she does not have to drag him with her. But, as if by the will of evil fate, she comes across only alphonse and weak moral guys. But the desired copies elude her.
Katya does not like to cook and before it was not very embarrassing – still wanting to build a relationship were. But now, when every second asks directly: “Do you cook delicious?”, the girl began to master the culinary skill. Unfortunately, it does not help her in any way.
The second girl (let it be Lena) sincerely and passionately loved one young man. For several years he wiped his feet on her and now, freed from suffering, she decided to start another life. And, quite logically, she rushed to the other extreme: “Now I will take everything from men, saturate myself, and only then decide whether I want to be with him or not.” As a result, she only gets sex and, with varying success, dinner at a restaurant. Men don't usually come back to her.
Lena is sure that success in her personal life will provide her with borscht and deep blowjob and practices in both areas. However, men do not come back to her anyway.
The third, suppose Alyona, is quite independent, self-confident and intelligent, to really get everything from men: wealthy gentlemen and wind around her, carrying expensive gifts and trips abroad. It’s not easy, she always wants more. And those who pay her bills usually have a limit, exceeding which leads to a break. But the question is, is it money?
No way. All three girls, so different, have one thing in common: they don't give off heat. If you translate their way of life into ordinary situations, each of them will always put their interests above the needs of others. Each of them will discuss the meeting place for an hour, insisting on the one that is convenient for her. Each will evict the kitten on the street because he sharpened her claws and rubbed her wallpaper. Everyone expects someone else to give her warmth, not herself.
While dozens of books have been written about the benefits of moderate selfishness, for some reason very little is said about the need for simple human warmth. A woman, if she only wants a real, good relationship, attracts not when she is stylishly dressed, fashionably made up and drives a car of the latest model. (Although all this is not bad, of course)
It attracts when it is filled with exclusively feminine qualities: warmth, kindness (which in itself is very sexy), to some extent the willingness to sacrifice your comfort for the sake of others - to sit at the bedside of the patient at night, feed the hungry, warm the suffering (but not pretending to be so).
Very often, we, being burned in previous relationships, give ourselves a promise to “take their own” from the relations of the subsequent ones, thereby closing the vicious circle of mistakes and failures. Often we confuse self-respect and the ability not to let wipe your feet with selfishness and excessive demands. The main thing to learn from childhood is to generously share your warmth. Men are drawn to him, because in each of them lives a subconscious desire for a warm hearth.
Therefore, dear girls, if you are looking for the cause of failure in your personal life, ask yourself the main question: “Am I a woman enough?” What makes me that? If you have cosmetics and earrings, sit two. It's too early for you to start a relationship, play with dolls. Auxiliary methods are good when the foundation is built.
P.S. Recently with a very wealthy friend happened textbook story. He always met with models, beauties as a selection. And on the birthday of one of them, he brought her a huge teddy bear and a bouquet of roses. And half an hour later, after going out on the balcony for a smoke, I heard her complain to friends that he was “drawn some stupid bear, not a new iPhone.”
Naturally, they broke up. It is not strange that his next girlfriend was an ordinary lady, pretty, but not glamorous appearance. Having burned himself earlier, he was cautious and was in no hurry to open his financial possibilities to her: he took not to expensive restaurants, but to cheaper cafes, gave not a hundred roses, but small bouquets.
And on her birthday, the guy couldn’t even get to her – the car got stuck in the snow. I called to apologize, already anticipating an outburst of indignation, but was surprised - the girl remained calm, only clarified where he was. And an hour later knocked on the foggy windows of his car with a thermos of tea and homemade food. A week later, he proposed to her.
Source: ne-lyublyu.panmudak.com
Source: /users/1077
But any of the guys I know, looking at them, immediately gave a characteristic: “They are too mercantile.” And men feel that.” And now let's figure out what kind of mercantility it is, what kind of meaning men put into it, and what it scares away.
The main thing to understand is that it is not about money. It's not just them.
One of these girls, let's call her Katya, makes a pretty good living. She does not need a man as a way to solve financial problems. She needs it (as she says) as a shoulder and support. But, at the same time, the girl puts forward (in principle, quite adequate) requirements - the man must be ensured that she does not have to drag him with her. But, as if by the will of evil fate, she comes across only alphonse and weak moral guys. But the desired copies elude her.
Katya does not like to cook and before it was not very embarrassing – still wanting to build a relationship were. But now, when every second asks directly: “Do you cook delicious?”, the girl began to master the culinary skill. Unfortunately, it does not help her in any way.
The second girl (let it be Lena) sincerely and passionately loved one young man. For several years he wiped his feet on her and now, freed from suffering, she decided to start another life. And, quite logically, she rushed to the other extreme: “Now I will take everything from men, saturate myself, and only then decide whether I want to be with him or not.” As a result, she only gets sex and, with varying success, dinner at a restaurant. Men don't usually come back to her.
Lena is sure that success in her personal life will provide her with borscht and deep blowjob and practices in both areas. However, men do not come back to her anyway.
The third, suppose Alyona, is quite independent, self-confident and intelligent, to really get everything from men: wealthy gentlemen and wind around her, carrying expensive gifts and trips abroad. It’s not easy, she always wants more. And those who pay her bills usually have a limit, exceeding which leads to a break. But the question is, is it money?
No way. All three girls, so different, have one thing in common: they don't give off heat. If you translate their way of life into ordinary situations, each of them will always put their interests above the needs of others. Each of them will discuss the meeting place for an hour, insisting on the one that is convenient for her. Each will evict the kitten on the street because he sharpened her claws and rubbed her wallpaper. Everyone expects someone else to give her warmth, not herself.
While dozens of books have been written about the benefits of moderate selfishness, for some reason very little is said about the need for simple human warmth. A woman, if she only wants a real, good relationship, attracts not when she is stylishly dressed, fashionably made up and drives a car of the latest model. (Although all this is not bad, of course)
It attracts when it is filled with exclusively feminine qualities: warmth, kindness (which in itself is very sexy), to some extent the willingness to sacrifice your comfort for the sake of others - to sit at the bedside of the patient at night, feed the hungry, warm the suffering (but not pretending to be so).
Very often, we, being burned in previous relationships, give ourselves a promise to “take their own” from the relations of the subsequent ones, thereby closing the vicious circle of mistakes and failures. Often we confuse self-respect and the ability not to let wipe your feet with selfishness and excessive demands. The main thing to learn from childhood is to generously share your warmth. Men are drawn to him, because in each of them lives a subconscious desire for a warm hearth.
Therefore, dear girls, if you are looking for the cause of failure in your personal life, ask yourself the main question: “Am I a woman enough?” What makes me that? If you have cosmetics and earrings, sit two. It's too early for you to start a relationship, play with dolls. Auxiliary methods are good when the foundation is built.
P.S. Recently with a very wealthy friend happened textbook story. He always met with models, beauties as a selection. And on the birthday of one of them, he brought her a huge teddy bear and a bouquet of roses. And half an hour later, after going out on the balcony for a smoke, I heard her complain to friends that he was “drawn some stupid bear, not a new iPhone.”
Naturally, they broke up. It is not strange that his next girlfriend was an ordinary lady, pretty, but not glamorous appearance. Having burned himself earlier, he was cautious and was in no hurry to open his financial possibilities to her: he took not to expensive restaurants, but to cheaper cafes, gave not a hundred roses, but small bouquets.
And on her birthday, the guy couldn’t even get to her – the car got stuck in the snow. I called to apologize, already anticipating an outburst of indignation, but was surprised - the girl remained calm, only clarified where he was. And an hour later knocked on the foggy windows of his car with a thermos of tea and homemade food. A week later, he proposed to her.
Source: ne-lyublyu.panmudak.com
Source: /users/1077
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